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My store is the king of inappropriate between coworkers. I mean, I've had coworkers ask me for blowjob advice in the cash office before... so I'm no stranger to inappropriate. I did have a female coworker accuse me of staring at her tits one time... the store manager pretty much laughed her out of the office. I'M GAY, I DON'T LIKE TITS, I LIKE DICK. She didn't know that before then....
Today (well.. yesterday now), at work, I was BSing with the assistant department manager at my register between orders. I made some kind of comment that I don't remember, and she responded with "What, is that a fat joke?". It wasn't, but me being me, I responded with "maybe it was".
She made my jaw hit the floor when she said "I don't have love handles. Those are jet fuel tanks for my sex machine!"
I'm ordinarily considered the king of inappropriate in my department, and make about half of the straight guys in my dept VERY uncomfortable (being the only openly gay guy in the dept, and by far the most open gay guy in the entire store, out of nearly 300 employees). I don't have a lisp and I don't "act gay" (I've rebuilt engines before and do all of my own car work), but apparently I'm intimidating.
My jaw pretty much hit the floor when she dropped that line. Then I nearly threw up from laughing so hard.
Also, today a customer came up to me and asked me "How was your birthday? Do you remember any of it?" (my birthday was 12 days ago, and I flat out told him the day before then that I didn't plan on remembering any of it... and as promised, I remembered very little). I told him the parts I remembered were awesome, then he went off on a tangent about some Pink Floyd concerts in the late 70s he went to where he got high just walking in the door to the arena, and didn't remember much of those either. And how he wished he could smoke that kind of weed again. I didn't exactly admit I was smoking a lot of weed that day, but I didn't deny it either, if you know what I mean. Both of us were on the same train of thought at that point anyway.
So c'mon. Share some horribly inappropriate things coworkers and even customers have said.
Also, I really love my store.
Today (well.. yesterday now), at work, I was BSing with the assistant department manager at my register between orders. I made some kind of comment that I don't remember, and she responded with "What, is that a fat joke?". It wasn't, but me being me, I responded with "maybe it was".
She made my jaw hit the floor when she said "I don't have love handles. Those are jet fuel tanks for my sex machine!"
I'm ordinarily considered the king of inappropriate in my department, and make about half of the straight guys in my dept VERY uncomfortable (being the only openly gay guy in the dept, and by far the most open gay guy in the entire store, out of nearly 300 employees). I don't have a lisp and I don't "act gay" (I've rebuilt engines before and do all of my own car work), but apparently I'm intimidating.
My jaw pretty much hit the floor when she dropped that line. Then I nearly threw up from laughing so hard.
Also, today a customer came up to me and asked me "How was your birthday? Do you remember any of it?" (my birthday was 12 days ago, and I flat out told him the day before then that I didn't plan on remembering any of it... and as promised, I remembered very little). I told him the parts I remembered were awesome, then he went off on a tangent about some Pink Floyd concerts in the late 70s he went to where he got high just walking in the door to the arena, and didn't remember much of those either. And how he wished he could smoke that kind of weed again. I didn't exactly admit I was smoking a lot of weed that day, but I didn't deny it either, if you know what I mean. Both of us were on the same train of thought at that point anyway.
So c'mon. Share some horribly inappropriate things coworkers and even customers have said.
Also, I really love my store.
In any other unit, the whole thing would have turned into complete breast-beating, hair-pulling drama. Not ours. We need the laughs to stay sane after being on phones all day.
rb
I was at a party a couple of weeks ago where my friend J (same one mentioned in my first post on this thread) had one of his old high school friends over, and I think I surprised her with some of the stuff that came out of my mouth, because, "she looks so sweet and innocent!!" 
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