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Do serial killers worry about overdraft protection?

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  • Do serial killers worry about overdraft protection?

    A story from my friend Angel who works at a large call center. Her job is to take calls from customers of the Nameless National Bank and deal with their questions, concerns, and complaints.

    The other day she received a call that was totally unremarkable. The caller was polite and his concern was quickly identified and dealt with. On its own, that alone would be enough to make it noteworthy for this site -- considering how unusual a call like that is -- but there was something else...

    The customer's voice. It was toneless, flat, and without any sort of inflection. Exceedingly creepy, in short. The sort of voice you expect to hear ordering you to put lotion in a basket. Thus, while she was working through this call, Angel says that the following questions were spinning through her mind.

    -- Is the body of your elderly neighbor in pieces at your feet as you're talking to me on the phone?

    -- Are you sitting in a room lit softly by the glow of lamps with shades made of human skin?

    -- As you sit and talk on the phone, are you gored up to the elbows with blood and gobbets? Are these gobbets all that remain of the children who've gone missing in your neighborhood this month?

    And of course...

    -- Do serial killers worry about overdraft protection? Do they pay their bills online? Or are such mundane concerns subsumed in the all-consuming, quivering need to fulfill the Ritual at all costs?

    By the end of the call, she reports, despite the fact that the call was so utterly ordinary, the customer's voice was so unsettling that she was happy to know he was several states away and would thus be unable to find her if took a notion to.
    Drive it like it's a county car.

  • #2
    The scariest thing about serial killers is that they can blend in perfectly well with society. I would guess that you could encounter one who is concerned about overdraft protection... Afterall, they don't want anyone gutting anything of theirs.

    The voice could be because the person is on painkillers or other meds, or is just the normal-yet-creepy way the person speaks. {shiver}
    Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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    • #3
      Quoth hauntedheadnc View Post

      The customer's voice. It was toneless, flat, and without any sort of inflection. Exceedingly creepy, in short. The sort of voice you expect to hear ordering you to put lotion in a basket. Thus, while she was working through this call, Angel says that the following questions were spinning through her mind.
      "It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!"
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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      • #4
        As long as they didn't talk about fava beans and a nice chianti, I think your friend is alright. That's the rule of thumb with serial killers, isn't it? I mean the nice people with the chloroform scented handkerchief told me it was...
        Your logic is insane and happenstance, like that of a troll.

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        • #5
          CREEPY!!!
          https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
          Great YouTube channel check it out!

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          • #6
            I had to. NSFW. Exceedingly creepy.
            "And so all the night-tide, I lie down by the side of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride!"
            "Hallo elskan min/Trui ekki hvad timinn lidur"
            Amayis is my wifey

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            • #7
              Damn. Eisa beat me to it.

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              • #8
                Nothing makes me angrier than buying duct tape, a shovel, and piano wire...then finding out my card was declined. If only i had overdraft....

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                • #9
                  Quoth hauntedheadnc View Post
                  The customer's voice. It was toneless, flat, and without any sort of inflection. Exceedingly creepy, in short. The sort of voice you expect to hear ordering you to put lotion in a basket. Thus, while she was working through this call, Angel says that the following questions were spinning through her mind.
                  When I'm tired, emotionally drained, or otherwise compromised, and forced to deal with a business/legal/etc. situation, I'm a lot like this. I actually have to put some conscious thought into assuming the guise of normalcy, and if I'm too spent to care, I'm not gonna bother.

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                  • #10
                    Y'all are makin' me !
                    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                    • #11
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                      "Because the last thing I need when mother is angry with me is my cooking knife purchase being denied due to insufficient funds." --N. Bates
                      Last edited by Geek King; 11-18-2010, 01:54 PM.
                      The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                      "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                      Hoc spatio locantur.

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