Mr. Goodhair

[Ghel]

I just know there's going to be stories coming out of this. I don't know what kind of stories yet, but I can see the potential.

The bank president, in his infinite wisdom, convinced the board of directors to hire a buddy of his. This buddy, who I shall call Mr. Goodhair, is a former bank president himself, recently let go from former bank for reasons unknown. The justification given for his hire is that loan demand is down (as it is everywhere in the US), and Mr. Goodhair will bring in commercial loans. However, he will not be doing the paperwork. My boss will be doing the paperwork. She's the one he told "I can work out a deal on a cocktail napkin, but I need you to make sure all the is are dotted and the ts are crossed."

Yes, cocktail napkin. Mr. Goodhair is good at schmoozing, but that's about it, as far as I can tell. He comes in wearing jeans and a polo shirt, his bright red skin practically flourescing. Still, the thing that stands out most about him is his perfectly-gelled hair.

I've previously met Mr. Goodhair at regional industry meetings and training seminars. He always struck me as one of those people who thinks he's good-looking and thinks he can drift by because of it. The empty smile, the drink in hand, the "hi, good to see you."

The idea behind his hire is that it will bring the bank income. But this guy probably has a bigger salary than the other seven of us combined. I highly doubt the income we'll get from the loans he's supposed to bring in will be anywhere near the cost of his salary. Plus he's not making a physical presence in the bank, either. He started Monday. This week, he's been in for a total of about two hours, split over two different days.

[Marmalady]

I read this post and instantly thought of this from years back....

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1992-08-27/

[Pixilated]

... looking forward to updates ...

[ADeMartino]

This has more red flags than a May Day parade. I'm sure we can all smell the conspiracy here - or at least the potential for it. A senior manager hiring a buddy is inappropriate at best; doubly so if the 'buddy' has already been let go for 'reasons unknown'. I can only suggest that you document absolutely everything to protect yourself from the fecal maelstrom that usually results when this situation goes south.

[sms001]

Good luck with this clown Ghel. I've met Mr. Goodhairs a few times in life and it rarely goes well. Don't forget CS Rule #3: CYA, document, document, document. (If your workloads overlap at all.)

[Ghel]

I doubt our workloads will overlap at all. It'll mostly be my boss who has to deal with him on a regular basis. Still, that will likely mean that she'll be passing some of her workload off on me.

Goodhair is definitely part of the "good ol' boys club" of bank managers and presidents in the region.

[MoonCat]

Nice work if you can get it.

He must know where some bodies are buried (possibly literally).

[wolfie]

That Dilbert strip does not compute. According to company standards, the guy being introduced is qualified for management, even with no industry experience, because he is tall. PHB is shorter than Dilbert. Therefore, according to company standards, Dilbert is more qualified for management than PHB is. Why does Dilbert not outrank PHB?

[sms001]

wolfie, as Chairman of the Board, you should realize that managerial prerequisites follow a complicated algorithm of physical & mental attributes. PHB tips the inDUHvidual scale so heavily that he could be two feet tall and still be boss. These metrics apply in other fields as well.

[Ghel]

Today was Mr. Goodhair's first official day of work at the bank.

I didn't mind setting up his voicemail for him - I've dealt with technologically illiterate people my whole life. What did bother me, though, was when he handed me a letter, complete with crossouts and scribbling, and asked me to retype it for him. As if typing a letter was beneath him. Also, I was never informed that my tasks would be changed to include scretarial duties for Goodhair. He just assumed that I would do it.

Goodhair spent half the day out in his car, either smoking or talking on his cell phone. Granted, it's difficult to get cell signal inside the bank, but he had a perfectly good phone in his office he could have used. Then he left at 3:30 and left behind a huge pile of papers on his desk.

[ADeMartino]

Today was Mr. Goodhair's first official day of work at the bank.

I didn't mind setting up his voicemail for him - I've dealt with technologically illiterate people my whole life. What did bother me, though, was when he handed me a letter, complete with crossouts and scribbling, and asked me to retype it for him. As if typing a letter was beneath him. Also, I was never informed that my tasks would be changed to include scretarial duties for Goodhair. He just assumed that I would do it.

Goodhair spent half the day out in his car, either smoking or talking on his cell phone. Granted, it's difficult to get cell signal inside the bank, but he had a perfectly good phone in his office he could have used. Then he left at 3:30 and left behind a huge pile of papers on his desk.

This confirms a great deal of what I suspected; he's 'old boy networked' into a job by his friend and isn't really there to work. You mentioned previously that he'd been let go from another bank under 'unknown' circumstances; I think we already see some of why that probably happened.

My previous comments stand - document EVERYTHING. You weren't supposed to be doing secretarial work for this assclown, and he's already tried to rope you into his little area of influence. What's the old expression? Give them an inch.....

I know, I'm paranoid - but then, I've good reason to be. I've dealt with people like Mr. Goodhair before. They're perfectly happy to screw everyone they meet and then just motor on, without a second thought to the misery and chaos they leave in their wake. I still suspect there's a shell game in the works here, and if I'm right, they'll happily throw someone under a bus when it gets discovered. PLEASE don't let it be you.

[Ghel]

Ok, I know Goodhair's thing is to be the "face." To be likeable. To schmooze. But I want to tell him to quit freaking winking at me. Granted, he was telling me about taking care of his grandkids for the evening (before he left early, as usual). But why does he feel the need to wink at me 3 times while telling me how he's going to get his grandkids high on caffeine and sugar before sending them home to their parents?

And this was after he took that 2-hour lunch to chat up the president of the new credit union that's going to be at or near the reservation - the one we've got a loan to for upgrades to their casino. Goodhair brought her to the bank and introduced her to each of us (which was nice, I guess), but he took her into parts of the bank that are supposed to be off-limits to the public. That's kind of skeezy to me.

Then, before he left for the day (early), he sent me and my boss an email saying he would be out of the office for meetings all afternoon tomorrow. Meetings that could be done just as well over the phone, but he feels the need to drive an hour to meet people face-to-face.

[Ghel]

I wish I had Goodhair's hours. He came in at 8:00. Took 2 smoke breaks. Was out of the office between 10:00 and 11:30. Took an hour lunch. Took a couple more smoke breaks. Left just now at 3:00, saying, "I've got people to meet."

Then he left with this parting line: "As they say at Purina, 'chow'!"



Also, quit smiling at me like that! It's creepy!

[Ghel]

This morning, at an informal meeting, Goodhair told us that he was part of a band full-time for 3 years, then part-time for 35 years after that. They played country music "because, at the time, the people who listened to country were the ones that had the money." Not because he liked country music, or even liked playing. He just wanted his audience's money.

[emax4]

I think since he assumed you to be his secretary, I would have confronted him with, "That's actually not part of my duties nor was it explained to me when you came on board, so how are you compensating me for this?"