10 Things That Are Not My Job

[BookstoreEscapee]

1. If you have a ton of lottery numbers you want to play. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SPEAK UP!!!!

<whisper> but then someone might hear me and play my numbers and then I'll have to split my millions...</whisper>

When we got pinpads they were kind of fun...you can slide both credit and debit in the pin pad but it won't do anything until we press the "credit" key on the register. It would amuse me to be scanning a massive pile of books while the customer is trying to scan their card multiple times before they figure out it ain't doing anything! And despite the instructions I printed up and stuck next to the number pad that said clearly if you are using a debit/credit without a PIN, press "Cancel" of course I got tons of people get all freaked "but I wanted CREDIT!!"

[staticradio]

10 Things That Should Not Be My Job (But Sadly Are)

10. I don't want to be your personal ATM. Granted, if you put in your pin number after swiping said ATM card, you are limited to $50 back...$25 with check. But, in all reality, I really would rather you went to an actual ATM or bank instead of bitching me out because you wanted more money.

9. I don't want to be your personal janitor. Tote boxes, hand carts, floor, et al. are not your personal garbage can. In fact, you are not but two feet away from a waste can, so don't give me your garbage when you could throw it away yourself (unless it's paper, plastic, cans, et al...then you should try to recycle).

8. I don't want to wait for you to find another product. You should've found all that you've needed to get in the past 3 hours you've been in the store. You're just holding up the line for everyone else.

7. I don't need to hear your child scream just for the sake of screaming. This just tells me you have no control over your children, and should be beaten over the head with a wet noodle. Quiet them in some degree, or strap on a muzzle.

6. I don't know why your check card has been declined. Maybe telling me you have $50 this morning, withdrawing $40 and spending that somewhere else...and thinking you still have $50 in your account is stupid. If it's before 3PM on a weekday, chances are funds are AUTOMATICALLY REMOVED AT THAT MOMENT.

5. I don't need to clean up after you. Leave it as you found it. Throw your garbage away, and not in the carts.

4. I don't know why your credit card has been declined. Maybe it isn't your day, maybe you spend beyond your means, or maybe it isn't your card. In all, we'll just hang you by your toes, and tickle you 'til you give.

3. I don't know what that pool of liquid is. Oh, wait...it's turkey fat. Maybe you should think to go to meats & frozen last...INSTEAD OF FIRST, DIMWIT!

2. It is a stylus, not a pen. Don't make like you've been in a cave for 18 years and not know the difference between a stylus and pen is...'cause you've probably been using one with that expensive $600 iPhone you had to get right away (unless you have been using a nice sharp ink pen, then you better have a good warranty).

1. I don't know why said product was discontinued. Maybe you should've stockpiled it in that iron-clad pantry of yours and have one a day. And don't place it as our fault, since that sits with the supplier. Scratch that...it is our fault (because everything is our fault), so bitch us out at your own discretion.

[AirHostess]

As a flight attendant:

Cleaning up bodily fluids-we are food handlers after all.

Looking after children

Stowing heavy baggage in the overhead locker...yeah cos I really want to hurt my back!

Taking people to the loo