Well what can I say? Customers SUCK.

[Digitalpotato]

• Sauce goes on WHEN WE ASK YOU.
• The Sandwich goes in the toaster WHEN WE ASK YOU.
• How on earth do you manage to manage to empty six sugar packets onto the counter and not hit the open cup?! Is your hand-eye coordination that bad?
• No, we don't do the daily special anymore.
• No, it is not because I am racist.
• and it isn't because I'm sexist either.
• Because we usually have better deals.
• Don't complain at how we're not speaking Chinese - this is Colorado. Not a lot of peopl ehere speak Chinese.
• don't write complaints IN CHINESE about how we don't speak chinese. (At least that's what I THINK they are about)
• No, we don't have Pork,
• Yes, you have to specify what kind of meat you want on the sandwich.
• Yes, it matters whether or not you ordered the Spicy Italian or the Italian BMT.
• If you want a sandwich with chicken, please say more than just "Chicken". Chicken can refer to at least five items on the menu, and yes it makes a difference whether you ordered the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki or the Chicken Breasts. This is not Germany or the Netherlands where you can say "I'll have a beer" and receive the cheapest one. YOU. MUST. PICK. A. FLAVOUR.
• We don't take that coupon for several reasons...one, it expired in 2008, two, our region doesn't have that coupon, three, it's in French.
• No, we don't have Poutines - why on earth would you ask for THAT in Subway, especially one in Colorado where not everyone's going to know what a Poutine even IS?
• No, we don't have pork - we have Ham, and Bacon. May we interest you in something different than just "Pork"?
• Yes, you have to read the coupon - it says "Valid ONCE per order". You don't get numerous free footlongs because you ordered two footlongs and two medium drinks...You already GOT your free footlong!
• If the kind of soup you want isn't on the two-item list right there, then we don't have it.
• No, we won't make more - we have to ORDER it.
• What are you doing in line if you are NOT getting anything?!
• Please don't switch places in line.
• Please don't change your mind when we're wrapping the sandwich. It's one thing if you politely say "Oh wait can I have some Oregano on that please?", vs "I WANT A TURKEY DESPITE ORDERING HAM!!!"
• Do you see "Gyros" on the menu?
• I told you THREE TIMES already that we do NOT HAVE "pork"!!!
• If it really tastes different when we spread the mustard on vs just squirting it on and letting you spread it out when the sandwich is folded, why don't you just go make your own? You aren't limited by how much stuff we have to put on the sandwich.
• If you want Olive Oil, you have to say the word "OIL". Just saying "Olive" will make us think you want OLIVES.
• Especially don't say this and say "NO! NOT OLIVES! OLIVE!"
• That's not Raw beef - that's HAM! BIG difference there Why would we serve RAW MEATS?!
• That's not chicken - that's LETTUCE! BIG difference there.
• You have to pay for 21 oz cups - just because you're filling it with water does not make it free.
• Don't just ask "And then?". This is not "Dude where's my car", and if it was, I'M supposed to be the one repeatedly asking, "and then?"
• If that cookie was too burned to eat, but not too burned to have stuffed in your face, then you do not get a free one.
• Yes we may burn half the cookie by mistake - shit happens. Just don't ask a free WHOLE cookie after having stuffed the non-burned half in your face.
• Don't ask for a refund on a sandwich you ALREADY ATE!!!
• Why would I put a NAPKIN in a sandwich?! That napkin was clearly too rolled up to have fallen in there by accident.
• You have to say what kind of sandwich you ordered, not just "A $5 footlong".
• Yes, you have to say what kind of sandwich you ordered - not every item on the menu has the same price, and even if they did, we'd have to know for inventory purposes!
• What's an "Ajuga pepper"?
• What's "Egg Sauce"?
• We only have Grinch Dressing around christmas time. Oh wait, you meant RANCH?
• That's not egg - that's TURKEY! BIG difference there!
• If you want a steak and egg sandwich, please say the "egg" part.

[lupo pazzesco]

:hugs: I know I left the booze and baked goods lying around here somewhere. Methinks you need serious applications of both!

I've been living in blissful ignorance this whole while. Apparently, ordering a sandwich is akin to rocket science! Hey! I'm a rocket scientist!

Seriously though. another round of hugs, booze and baked goods.

[Jester]

No, we don't have Pork

What, you don't have any ham, bacon, or salami?

No, we don't have pork - we have Ham, and Bacon.

Um, hate to get technical, but ham and bacon ARE pork. So yes, you DO have pork.

I told you THREE TIMES already that we do NOT HAVE "pork"!!!

Don't make me say it. Please, don't make me say it.

That's not Raw beef - that's HAM!

Yes. Ham. As in pork. Not beef. They really have trouble with this concept of Ham, don't they?

That's not chicken - that's LETTUCE! BIG difference there.

I have nothing.

You have to say what kind of sandwich you ordered, not just "A $5 footlong".

"Five. Five dollar. Five dollar footlooooong!"

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

That's not egg - that's TURKEY! BIG difference there!

What? You've never gathered around the table at the holidays with your loving family to carve the egg?!?

Or gone on an Easter Turkey hunt?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

[*]That's not egg - that's TURKEY! BIG difference there!

The difference being TIME.

[RayvenQ]

You know though that if you try to tell the SC that Ham and Bacon are indeed Pork products, that they'll vehemently deny it.

[Jester]

You know though that if you try to tell the SC that Ham and Bacon are indeed Pork products, that they'll vehemently deny it.

Great! That means you can serve ham and bacon to Jewish and Muslim SC's!

[Teysa]

Well, my Jewish grandmother used to say that, bacon is bad because it's pork, pork chops are of course bad, but ham is perfectly fine because it's ham.

[RayvenQ]

Great! That means you can serve ham and bacon to Jewish and Muslim SC's!

Well if they're SC's and have the level of intelligence of an SC,regardless of denomination, then they'd probably think it was beef or [insert what they don't like the most] thats forbidden.

[Jester]

Just tell them it's kosher ham.

[RayvenQ]

If you aren't allowed to eat something that came from something that has a cloven hoof (as far as I'm aware, correct me if I'm wrong) does that mean you can't eat ninja's?

[bunnyboy]

Great! That means you can serve ham and bacon to Jewish and Muslim SC's!

So that means my bacon and pru...pro...that Italian brined and smoked ham wrapped hamhock is perfectly kosher, kick ass!

and here one of my friends of a Semite persuasion said it was enough pork to kill a Jew... or anyone else for that matter.

[Caffienated_Caramel]

X_X oh god gimme brain bleach!

[ShootMePlease]

Hey -

When Jester was quoting Digitalpotato how come it comes up as RecoveringKinkoid ? Weird.

[Jester]

If you aren't allowed to eat something that came from something that has a cloven hoof (as far as I'm aware, correct me if I'm wrong) does that mean you can't eat ninja's?

You're wrong. Ninjas have cloven SHOES, not hooves.

But Jews can't eat ninjas because they're not good Jewish girls.

So that means my bacon and pru...pro...that Italian brined and smoked ham wrapped hamhock is perfectly kosher, kick ass!

Prosciutto. Pronounced pruh-SHOOT-oh. Like Abby Sciuto. And almost as tasty as she is.

Though the bacon and prosciutto are only kosher to Jewish SC's. And Abby is only kosher to Jewish guys with non-yenta grandmothers. (See the ninja reasoning above.)

When Jester was quoting Digitalpotato how come it comes up as RecoveringKinkoid ? Weird.

Very weird. But I fixed it.

[bunnyboy]

Prosciutto. Pronounced pruh-SHOOT-oh. Like Abby Sciuto. And almost as tasty as she is.

Ah yes, know the pronuncimication just really spaced on the spelling... still want to make that at some point... ah maybe X-mas.


And if that's the Abby I'm thinking of then Prosciutto on Abby Sciuto would = yum... only thing that would make it better is to have some kind of other meat there...
thinking some Italian Sausage maybe...