Thread: Nerfturbation
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Old 03-22-2011, 09:37 PM
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houdini houdini is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: South England
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Quoth Gravekeeper View Post

The War Of The Roses ( Sigh )

SC: ďLoud stomping from upstairs again! WOKE ME UP AGAIN! And put 4 exclaimation marks!Ē

Ok...Mr Brown. Look, seriously, this is something like your 40th call about this. Wait, no, sorry, 38th. My bad. Anyway, look, why donít you do us both a favour here: Put the phone down, go upstairs to their suite, kick in the door and assault anyone and everyone you find inside with the nearest object you can find. Not only will this resolve your problem, but itíll solve ours by ensuring you never call us again. At least not until you come up for parole anyway.
You do realise the next call will be one of your "I need a lawyer...yes, I have been arrested...yes, I'm in serious trouble...yes, I need an emergency lawyer...oh, you recognised my voice?! Yes, I am Mr Brown. I beat her into a coma with a small pink teddy bear. I feel I have expressed a lot of my frustration and now feel a lot happier, but for some reason these police officers don't agree..."