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Easy Way, Hard Way, Guess Which is a Wiser Choice?

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  • Easy Way, Hard Way, Guess Which is a Wiser Choice?

    First, I want to say this was all related to me third-party through the towing manager, so it's not a stenographer-perfect record of the conversation, but as you'll see, that doesn't really matter.

    Let me set the scene, student residence, this town, gray rainy afternoon, early fall. Black and White Crown Vic pulls into the drive and a serious-looking Borough cop steps out and walks to the front door. Rings the bell.... Sneaky Pete answers.

    Cop - Yes, are you Sneaky Pete?
    SP - Yes
    Cop - And do you own a Blue Chevy SUV? License Pennsylvania ABC 1234?
    SP - Yes Sir
    Cop - Okay, was your vehicle towed by any chance last Sunday night?
    SP - Nope
    Cop - So, that vehicle wasn't towed for illegal parking Sunday night going into Monday morning? From 212 State Street?
    SP - Nope, it's never been towed at all!
    Cop - That's your final answer? You're absolutely sure?
    SP - Uh.....
    Cop - Okay Son, here's how it's going to go. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The Hard way is I charge you with theft of services, that's a misdemeanor charge by the way, which will result in a fine, possible jail time, and it will definitely result in you being expelled from the University and a criminal record, which I doubt your parents will appreciate. The Easy way is you go back to the garage and pay the impound fee you SHOULD have paid the first time instead of hopping over the fence in full view of the security camera and taking your car out of the impound lot without paying for it. You also owe them a day of storage for every day that's passed from when you took it until now, so that's three days worth of storage plus the $115 for the tow. You have 24 hours starting *looks at watch* now, to make this right. If I DON'T hear back from the garage that you've paid up what you owe to them in that time, then I'm coming back here and you're going with me, are we clear?
    SP - Uh..... yeah.
    Cop - Have a nice day.

    Seriously, not only did the camera catch it all.... but we had his vehicle make, model, color and LICENSE PLATE. I have absolutely no idea what side of who's bed on what planet Sneaky Pete woke up on when he thought-

    A. There would be no camera watching an IMPOUND YARD
    B. When we couldn't reconcile paperwork in the "waiting to be released" bin with a physical vehicle in said impound we'd just throw up our shoulders and say "Humph, must've evaporated or something, oh well" and never bother to try and find out where it went. (Ya know, LIABILITY and all? Since it's in our custody?)
    C. We wouldn't call the police when we found out via camera review that you TOOK IT WITHOUT PAYING
    D. We wouldn't give the police the FULL DESCRIPTION of your vehicle that we somehow had... because, oh I don't know, WE TOWED IT?!
    E. Armed with that information, the cops would have some trouble FINDING YOUR ADDRESS VIA THE DMV within 4 hours of us calling them.
    F. The cops wouldn't bother to check any of the above, so just saying "Nah man, wasn't me!" when they DO show up would be enough to make them go away....

    I imagine Sneaky Pete must've been pretty proud of himself for those 48 hours it took for us to piece together what happened, I imagine he had a good laugh with his friends about how he pulled one over on Da Man (tm) and won one for the little guys, pulled off the perfect crime! Yep! And those dumb morons didn't even KNOW I DID IT! LOL! Lemme update muh Facebook page! Current status: GENIUS!!!

    I can only imagine the sheer panic he must've felt when that unexpected knock came on his door that turned out to be unexpected law enforcement presence....... I'm just disappointed that I couldn't have been hiding in the hedgerows by his place when it all went down. I live for moments like these.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Looks like we have a winner in the DumbAss sweepstakes...


    Wonder if he paid up?
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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    • #3
      So he thought he could actually get away with trying to boost his car out of the impound?





      Yeah, Sneaky Pete is a dumb ass.
      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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      • #4
        How the heck did he drive it out of the lot? Isn't there a locked gate?
        I no longer fear HELL.
        I work in RETAIL.

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        • #5
          And just how fast did it take him to get down to pay?
          Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
          Save the Ales!
          Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

          Comment


          • #6
            There was a partial lapse in security procedure that allowed it, namely, the impound driver driving off before the gate shut all the way.

            Sneaky Pete hopped the fence, got in his car, waited, and kept his headlights off and followed the tow truck out.... driver never saw him, which is why you're not supposed to pull away from the gate until it closes completely... too many guys hit the "close" button and drive off, and don't watch to make sure it shuts all the way... but that's a different rant (takes about 10 seconds, so it's all too easy for this to happen, I'm amazed it doesn't happen more often)
            - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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            • #7
              Sonny, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
              *clonk*
              The easy way
              To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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              • #8
                One does not simply walk into the impound lot.....
                Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

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                • #9
                  Sounds like your lot needs a "junkyard dog"...

                  Seriously, excellent pwanage! How long did it take Pete to get down with his payment?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                    Sonny, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
                    *clonk*
                    The easy way
                    Back to the Future II

                    Keep us posted...It will be interesting to see how Sneaky Pete tries to weasel his way out of this one.
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Argabarga View Post
                      I have absolutely no idea what side of who's bed on what planet Sneaky Pete woke up on when he thought- ...

                      ... D. We wouldn't give the police the FULL DESCRIPTION of your vehicle that we somehow had... because, oh I don't know, WE TOWED IT?!
                      E. Armed with that information, the cops would have some trouble FINDING YOUR ADDRESS VIA THE DMV within 4 hours of us calling them.
                      F. The cops wouldn't bother to check any of the above, so just saying "Nah man, wasn't me!" when they DO show up would be enough to make them go away....
                      See what I said elsethread (another Argabargian thread, IIRC) about morons who think they can make a traffic violation go away by throwing away or destroying the ticket.

                      Quoth Argabarga View Post
                      First, I want to say this was all related to me third-party through the towing manager, so it's not a stenographer-perfect record of the conversation
                      Ste-no-gra-fur? What is this "ste-no-gra-fur" of which you speak?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Argabarga View Post
                        Cop - That's your final answer? You're absolutely sure?
                        "Yes, Meredith, I'm going to go with 'D: My car has never been towed'; final answer!"

                        "Oooh, I'm SO SORRY! That is WRONG, so you lose all your money! But hey, we are going to give you an all-expenses-paid stay at the Downtown Hilton!"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Cat Herder View Post
                          "Yes, Meredith, I'm going to go with 'D: My car has never been towed'; final answer!"

                          "Oooh, I'm SO SORRY! That is WRONG, so you lose all your money! But hey, we are going to give you an all-expenses-paid stay at the Downtown Hilton!"
                          "Sorry to interrupt, Meredith, but the Downtown Hilton has gone out of business! But that's okay, because we can instead send you to the illustrious Graybar Hotel. Your all-expenses paid trip will be both eye-opening and educational! Highlights include a fascinating first-hand experience of the legal system and an intriguing look at the wonderful spectrum of humanity! You'll also receive a case of Turtle Wax and a year supply of Rice-A-Roni (The San Francisco Treat)!*"



                          * While supplies last. Prizes may be substituted by the producers for a reward of lesser value.
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Cat Herder View Post
                            Ste-no-gra-fur? What is this "ste-no-gra-fur" of which you speak?
                            It was a job in medieval times in which a winsome lass would inscribe on parchment the words of his lordship.
                            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Cat Herder View Post
                              Ste-no-gra-fur? What is this "ste-no-gra-fur" of which you speak?
                              Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                              It was a job in medieval times in which a winsome lass would inscribe on parchment the words of his lordship.
                              And it's still used today. Anyone who can write shorthand is known as a stenographer. If you ever go into a courthouse, there will be a court reporter there, who is sometimes known as a stenographer. He/she types up a transcript of the proceedings in shorthand, which is then converted into plain old English later.
                              The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                              Now queen of USSR-Land...

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