First, I want to say this was all related to me third-party through the towing manager, so it's not a stenographer-perfect record of the conversation, but as you'll see, that doesn't really matter.
Let me set the scene, student residence, this town, gray rainy afternoon, early fall. Black and White Crown Vic pulls into the drive and a serious-looking Borough cop steps out and walks to the front door. Rings the bell.... Sneaky Pete answers.
Cop - Yes, are you Sneaky Pete?
SP - Yes
Cop - And do you own a Blue Chevy SUV? License Pennsylvania ABC 1234?
SP - Yes Sir
Cop - Okay, was your vehicle towed by any chance last Sunday night?
SP - Nope
Cop - So, that vehicle wasn't towed for illegal parking Sunday night going into Monday morning? From 212 State Street?
SP - Nope, it's never been towed at all!
Cop - That's your final answer? You're absolutely sure?
SP - Uh.....
Cop - Okay Son, here's how it's going to go. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The Hard way is I charge you with theft of services, that's a misdemeanor charge by the way, which will result in a fine, possible jail time, and it will definitely result in you being expelled from the University and a criminal record, which I doubt your parents will appreciate. The Easy way is you go back to the garage and pay the impound fee you SHOULD have paid the first time instead of hopping over the fence in full view of the security camera and taking your car out of the impound lot without paying for it. You also owe them a day of storage for every day that's passed from when you took it until now, so that's three days worth of storage plus the $115 for the tow. You have 24 hours starting *looks at watch* now, to make this right. If I DON'T hear back from the garage that you've paid up what you owe to them in that time, then I'm coming back here and you're going with me, are we clear?
SP - Uh..... yeah.
Cop - Have a nice day.
Seriously, not only did the camera catch it all.... but we had his vehicle make, model, color and LICENSE PLATE. I have absolutely no idea what side of who's bed on what planet Sneaky Pete woke up on when he thought-
A. There would be no camera watching an IMPOUND YARD
B. When we couldn't reconcile paperwork in the "waiting to be released" bin with a physical vehicle in said impound we'd just throw up our shoulders and say "Humph, must've evaporated or something, oh well" and never bother to try and find out where it went. (Ya know, LIABILITY and all? Since it's in our custody?)
C. We wouldn't call the police when we found out via camera review that you TOOK IT WITHOUT PAYING
D. We wouldn't give the police the FULL DESCRIPTION of your vehicle that we somehow had... because, oh I don't know, WE TOWED IT?!
E. Armed with that information, the cops would have some trouble FINDING YOUR ADDRESS VIA THE DMV within 4 hours of us calling them.
F. The cops wouldn't bother to check any of the above, so just saying "Nah man, wasn't me!" when they DO show up would be enough to make them go away....
I imagine Sneaky Pete must've been pretty proud of himself for those 48 hours it took for us to piece together what happened, I imagine he had a good laugh with his friends about how he pulled one over on Da Man (tm) and won one for the little guys, pulled off the perfect crime! Yep! And those dumb morons didn't even KNOW I DID IT! LOL! Lemme update muh Facebook page! Current status: GENIUS!!!
I can only imagine the sheer panic he must've felt when that unexpected knock came on his door that turned out to be unexpected law enforcement presence....... I'm just disappointed that I couldn't have been hiding in the hedgerows by his place when it all went down. I live for moments like these.
Let me set the scene, student residence, this town, gray rainy afternoon, early fall. Black and White Crown Vic pulls into the drive and a serious-looking Borough cop steps out and walks to the front door. Rings the bell.... Sneaky Pete answers.
Cop - Yes, are you Sneaky Pete?
SP - Yes
Cop - And do you own a Blue Chevy SUV? License Pennsylvania ABC 1234?
SP - Yes Sir
Cop - Okay, was your vehicle towed by any chance last Sunday night?
SP - Nope
Cop - So, that vehicle wasn't towed for illegal parking Sunday night going into Monday morning? From 212 State Street?
SP - Nope, it's never been towed at all!
Cop - That's your final answer? You're absolutely sure?
SP - Uh.....
Cop - Okay Son, here's how it's going to go. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The Hard way is I charge you with theft of services, that's a misdemeanor charge by the way, which will result in a fine, possible jail time, and it will definitely result in you being expelled from the University and a criminal record, which I doubt your parents will appreciate. The Easy way is you go back to the garage and pay the impound fee you SHOULD have paid the first time instead of hopping over the fence in full view of the security camera and taking your car out of the impound lot without paying for it. You also owe them a day of storage for every day that's passed from when you took it until now, so that's three days worth of storage plus the $115 for the tow. You have 24 hours starting *looks at watch* now, to make this right. If I DON'T hear back from the garage that you've paid up what you owe to them in that time, then I'm coming back here and you're going with me, are we clear?
SP - Uh..... yeah.
Cop - Have a nice day.
Seriously, not only did the camera catch it all.... but we had his vehicle make, model, color and LICENSE PLATE. I have absolutely no idea what side of who's bed on what planet Sneaky Pete woke up on when he thought-
A. There would be no camera watching an IMPOUND YARD
B. When we couldn't reconcile paperwork in the "waiting to be released" bin with a physical vehicle in said impound we'd just throw up our shoulders and say "Humph, must've evaporated or something, oh well" and never bother to try and find out where it went. (Ya know, LIABILITY and all? Since it's in our custody?)
C. We wouldn't call the police when we found out via camera review that you TOOK IT WITHOUT PAYING
D. We wouldn't give the police the FULL DESCRIPTION of your vehicle that we somehow had... because, oh I don't know, WE TOWED IT?!
E. Armed with that information, the cops would have some trouble FINDING YOUR ADDRESS VIA THE DMV within 4 hours of us calling them.
F. The cops wouldn't bother to check any of the above, so just saying "Nah man, wasn't me!" when they DO show up would be enough to make them go away....
I imagine Sneaky Pete must've been pretty proud of himself for those 48 hours it took for us to piece together what happened, I imagine he had a good laugh with his friends about how he pulled one over on Da Man (tm) and won one for the little guys, pulled off the perfect crime! Yep! And those dumb morons didn't even KNOW I DID IT! LOL! Lemme update muh Facebook page! Current status: GENIUS!!!
I can only imagine the sheer panic he must've felt when that unexpected knock came on his door that turned out to be unexpected law enforcement presence....... I'm just disappointed that I couldn't have been hiding in the hedgerows by his place when it all went down. I live for moments like these.
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