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Human Pinata, or How to Be a "Man."

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  • Human Pinata, or How to Be a "Man."

    I have a good friend that I have known for years down here. For this story I'll call her Tiny Dancer. (Thank you, Elton John.) She is a sweetheart. She is also about 5'6" and about 110 lbs. soaking wet. A stiff breeze could probably blow her away. Her fiancee is about 6'2" and 240 lbs. Easily twice her size, almost twice MY size. The kind of guy you refer to as a Big Boy.

    The other day, Big Boy and Tiny Dancer were out and about. Tiny Dancer wanted to go home. Big Boy did not. He emphasized his point of view by beating the living shit out of Tiny Dancer, a girl who is, as I said, about half his size. He claimed the next morning that all her bruises and whatnot were from her falling out of the truck.

    Um, no. For several reasons, the obvious one being the fact that she knows she didn't fall out of the truck. Two, the nasty mark under her eye could only be caused by two things. Someone's fist, or a baseball you were leaning into too much. Tiny Dancer has not been out on the diamond playing ball lately. Three, as a cyclist I am intimately familiar with "road burn," that horrible rash of torn up skin you get when your body skids along the road. The bruises she had were just that...bruises. They were NOT in any way road burn. Not the ones on her arms, not the ones on her face, and certainly not the ones on her throat.

    Big Boy told Tiny Dancer that he would kill her or have his friends from up north kill her if she went to the cops. Unlike a lot of people in this situation, Tiny Dancer did exactly what we would want her to do....she went to the cops.

    The cops have contacted Tiny Dancer and told her that Big Boy has been arrested. (I am not certain of this, as his mugshot is still not posted on the local sheriff's office website, as all arrests are.) As he has a rap sheet taller than him, most of it for violent acts, and because Tiny Dancer is pressing charges, we are all very hopefull that Big Boy is going away for a long time. With the right judge, he will. It is not uncommon for certain criminals, once they have finished their jail sentenced, to be told they are not allowed in this county for X years afterwards, under penalty of further arrest. I kind of like that part of it myself, and we are hopeful that that happens as well. Actually, I personally am rooting for a violent prison shower gang rape of Big Boy, but I am evil like that.

    Tomorrow I am taking Tiny Dancer to see my doctor, to (A) make sure there is no permanent damage/broken bones/etc., and (B) to get medical documentation of her injuries for when she files for a restraining order, something else she is doing tomorrow. Needless to say, he is no longer her fiancee. Also, all her friends are rallying around her and offering her just about anything she needs, from vehicles to help her get her stuff from her shared residence with Big Boy, to new places to live, to just companionship, etc. She is obviously very emotional about this whole thing, and somewhat embarrassed, but at least she is doing the right thing and not letting this shitstain get away with this nonsense, as all too many women do.

    Several of her more evil friends (who I may or may not be one of) have voiced suggestions of dealing with Big Boy in other ways, if the criminal justice system comes out on the side of this criminal instead of on the side of justice.

    So obviously I was in a state last night, as were many people, until we got the word that the local constabulary had found and arrested Big Boy. (Though again, I will not be happy till I see his mugshot posted and KNOW they did their job and didn't just give him a "talking to.")

    The good news is that Tiny Dancer is doing better today psychologically, but is obviously sore physically. While my doctor's office is not open today, I have a friend who is a doctor, though not practicing, who agreed to take a look at her today, just for Tiny Dancer's peace of mind.

    So, how was everyone else's weekend?

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    Wow. Damn. Give her a hug from me if she's not too tender to tough.

    Also, there's this stuff called Burt's Bees Res-Q Remedy that will cut the bruises' healing time in half if it works on her anything like it works on me and my whole group of family and friends who I've gotten to carry the stuff everywhere. I've never been beaten up by a human that bad, but I've had a few truly epic falls off horses, and it sucks to walk around with everyone telling you, "Leave the jerk, honey!" including strangers for weeks- must suck even worse when it WAS a jerk and you DID leave him and have him arrested.

    Only real thing I can add- other than that, *pat on back* Good friend *pat on back for Tiny Dancer* GOOD GIRL getting the boy arrested....

    .....And if he gets released and you can lure him to New York somehow, lemme know.
    My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

    Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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    • #3
      Why New York? Aren't you in Colorado?

      And darlin', nothing personal....but there are plenty of evil bastards down here, we have lots of friends with boats, and an entire ocean to work with.

      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
      Still A Customer."

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      • #4
        I've never been to New York, but I'M not particularly harmful, at least not to someone his size- not me you need.

        Just sayin', if all those people and their boats fall through, I know a guy who knows a guy.
        My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

        Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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        • #5
          I have an ax, a large lake, a friend with a boat, and no known motive . . . Lure him to Topeka.

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          • #6
            Wouldn't sending him to Kansas be punishment enough?



            (ducks and runs out of the room.....)

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

            Comment


            • #7
              Anything but that! Or make him drive a van through Nebraska!
              My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

              Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

              Comment


              • #8
                Big Boy obviously doesn't have a Big Brain to match. Well done to you and Tiny Dancer. Nail the bastard!

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                • #9
                  Very current update: due to bureaucratic idiocy, Big Boy, while he was located and even cuffed last night, was not, in fact, arrested. The officer who told Tiny Dancer this (I just got off the phone with her), told her that they ARE going to go before a judge tomorrow and seek a warrant for Big Boy's arrest, and if they get it (likely), they will serve it immediately and haul his ass in.

                  Stay tuned.

                  "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                  Still A Customer."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Let me know as breaking news develops.

                    Hopefully news of Big Boy making a break for it at breakneck speed when the cops break down his door, then taking a break from running to catch his breath, upon which an officer of the law overtakes him and breaks wind in his face, causing BB to apply the brakes and turn himself in, at which point several policepersons leap on him and break most of his bones.
                    My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

                    Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Garg! Try and find some one who would need their boat keelhauled. That is not being a man that is being a coward. I sincerely hope he gets each and every bruise he gave repaid in double.

                      Also good wishes towards your friend and you in this. Ogres like that may not have much brains but what brains they do have are geared towards survival and revenge.

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                      • #12
                        Oy.. Sometimes Bureaucracy makes some baaaaad mojo. I hope the idiots responsible for that foulup are disciplined.

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                        • #13
                          Big Boy, small brain, smaller d1ck.

                          Am really hoping for som serious jail time for this idiot, Domestic Abuse is foul, anyone found to commit it should in fact have old royal navy punishments inflicted, one after the other (gauntlet, flogging and keel haul).

                          (if anyone wants explanation of gauntlet, let me know).
                          A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Jester View Post
                            Very current update: due to bureaucratic idiocy, Big Boy, while he was located and even cuffed last night, was not, in fact, arrested. The officer who told Tiny Dancer this (I just got off the phone with her), told her that they ARE going to go before a judge tomorrow and seek a warrant for Big Boy's arrest, and if they get it (likely), they will serve it immediately and haul his ass in.
                            I hope TD has someplace safe to stay, someplace BB can't get to. You know he's going to try to "get even with her" for going to the police.

                            Still, she was very brave and very smart to go straight to the police, instead of rationalizing it like too many women do ("He really does love me, I just pushed him too far" yadda yadda yadda). And you're a good friend and a true mensch for standing up for her and helping her out.

                            I hope he gets a nice long stay at the Greybar Hotel. Or a fun trip through The millstone and ocean idea is a good one, too...sharks gotta eat too.
                            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                            My LiveJournal
                            A page we can all agree with!

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                            • #15
                              This sounds exactly like several other shitstains I've had to deal with over the years. They're almost always the exact same type. But as several others have mentioned, in this case, T.D. did the right thing to report his ass.

                              Jester, if you'd like, I can give you my recipe for homemade pepper spray and you can stir her up a batch. You'll have to give me a chance to go home and remember how much of which particular ingrediants go in it, though. I remember there's habanero, lemon, and cayenne in it...maybe vinegar, can't recall...but the exact quantities I won't remember until I can measure the cups I use to mix it. (It's also good for clearing a blocked nose...) Anyway, it wouldn't hurt give her something like that to carry around. Now, in all seriousness, I AM going to run home and measure the ingrediants because I'm sure there's a few folks who wouldn't mind having a cheap and easy method of self-defense to keep handy. Honestly, any ONE of those three, particularly the habanero, would be good, but the bunch of them together...yeah, let's just say you want a metal bottle to keep it in, plastic is NO GOOD.
                              "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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