Dear....

[Becks]

Dear me,

Get the hell off of your fat ass and start packing and cleaning.

NOW.



--me

[Sarlon]

dear heart (yes that lump of blood and tissue in my chest...not the one on my desk >.>),

STOP BEING SO DAMN FORGIVING! I know its not a bad thing.....but sometimes you just GOTTA LET GO!!! be bitter, be angry, reserve that love only for that someone special....

BUT STOP BEING SO DAMN FORGIVING!!!!

lots of hate,
me

-------------------------------------------

Dear muse,

ok....4 year vacation is up....GET BACK TO WORK!!! and stop hiding behind that block....and ignore the writing on it >.> Those are just past ideas we've already written.

road blocked,
me

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Husband,

I have finally figured out what your problem is when you "have to watch" our daughter. You have your head shoved so far up your @$$ that you'll need an operation to get it removed.

Our daughter is your child. Everyone says she looks just like you. So there is no doubt that she is yours. You do not "babysit" your own child. You take care of her. Watching her for 5 - 6 hours on a Saturday is NOT "watching her all day" when I "work".

Our daughter loves you for some unknown reason. She hardly ever sees you & when she does, she wants your attention when you only want to give the computer or the television your attention. That is why she acts out. You need to talk to her. I read to her. I play with her. You do nothing. You're a bump on a log.

Get over yourself & grow up.

No love right now,
Your Wife

[Evil Queen]

dear eq

okay, bad time of the month is over so why are you still lonely and depressed? what's wrong with you? are you going to be okay? i worry about you, ya know. nothing is wrong. work is okay. your weird relationship with your s.o. is okay. mom and dad and sibling are okay. so why are you wanting to hide? why do you feel like crying?
i don't like this turn of events. your chest hurts and i don't know why. and the headache medicine isn't kicking in either.

worry about myself,
-eq

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Child,

Why did you think 4:15 AM is a good time to get up? I'm hoping for a "nap" (or a continuation of the sleep that interrupted) in an hour or 2.

Also, the letter to Santa will be written today.

I love you,
Barely Awake,
Your Mommy

[draftermatt]

Dear Precious, AKA Miss Kitty,

Why did you die? You were only 8 years old... I was having a good day until I walked inside and found you at the top of the stairs... I miss you, Mommy misses you... I love you...

And I'm sorry... Something was telling me to go inside when I was mowing the lawn, but I ignored it, and now you're gone. It looks like you would have been anyway, but I really don't know............

I'm so sorry little one, I'll never stop being sorry or missing you...

I love you my pretty kitty,

Daddy...

[crazylegs]

Dear itunes,

How many gascquillion lines of code must you have to slow down IE this much? Surely you're not this much of a memory hog?

Yours, a new ipod owner

Crazylegs

[crazylegs]

Dear Right Arm.

Yes, I know I just asked you to move a 2/3 full bookcase so I could look for a missing CD that wasn't actually there but do you now need to ache so...?

Yours sorely

Crazylegs
___________

Dear iTunes

Beck, Bjork and Brian Wilson are all clumped together in the same genre as The Clash, Sigur Ros and The Dresden Dolls, wow, I guess 'Alternative' means 'not sickly sweet pop' now huh?

Yours Crossly

Crazylegs

[Misanthropical]

Dear Stupid,

STOP STARING AT ME! Why do you insist on staring at me? I'm not that fascinating, so stop it! Don't you have work to do? Why do you spend most night staring at me with that idiotic grin on your face? You're creeping me out and if you don't stop I will slap you around with your computer.


Dear BossMan,

If you don't tell SmellyWoman to lighten up on the perfume I will vomit on her! It's so strong it makes me nauseated. She might actually smell better if I were to puke on her.


Dear Customers,

Don't ever lie to me! I'm a mother, so I know when someone is trying to get over on me, so don't bother. You will just make me mad and trust me, no one likes it when I'm mad.

I will reach through the phone and pull your lips off, so don't even think of lying to me, mmkay?


Dear Neighbor,

The only reason I haven't ran over your little brats that you let play in the parking lot at all hours is because I don't want to dent my car and/or wash blood off of it.

There is a rule about not letting children play in the parking lot. Yes, it does apply to yours even if you think it doesn't.

If I hear them or you screaming your fool heads off late at night one more time I will come out there and go all kinds of Wrath of God on you, got it?

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear knees,

Sharp pains I can stand. But this achy, pained feeling in them? What's up with that? My legs feel tired, my knees are achingly tired. I know like this feeling! Please stop. Not even the Tylenol is working.

IDaR

[Elspeth]

Dear brain

Will you please start working like a half way normal brain *or as normal as you get* This only being able to work a task for minutes before you shut down and have to move to something else is getting old. i know you just got back from vacation but I have a meteric ton of projects that need to get done. If you keep this up, there will be know more Doctor Who or Torchwood for you. *who in the heck am I kidding*

The person who is carry you around

[kaetchen]

Dear Roomie:

Ya know. I've about had it with you. You're not the only one with financial troubles, but you put yourself in that position. I don't have a lot of control over mine however.

When we got the power bill and you saw that it was $120 and flipped out about it, one might think you'd put two and two together and realize that perhaps you had something to do with it. Considering that when we had my friend subleasing your room, the power bill never went above $80. The AC was fixed 1 week before you got back, and we never really ran it. In the 2 weeks you were back, you managed to rack up $70 in AC alone.
I'm already mad about that.

I come home last night after being chewed out by several people at work (on the phone, but by retarded assholes whom don't know their ass from the ground) to find that the apartment is down to 60 degrees. You were no where to be found, and knowing how you work, you come home, turn on ALL THE LIGHTS (even though we have a LARGE WINDOW WITH LOTS OF LIGHT) turn on the AC, and leave.

...DIAF...

[KiaKat]

Dear sinuses,

Please, please, please stop trying to burrow into my brain and out my forehead at the same time. It's really somewhat painful.

--your reluctant hostess

Dear Customer,

My store is not a place where you can store your purchase. Please take it with you when you leave, or alternately, make us your last stop before going home. I may tax you the change on your purchase for being annoying.

--your register monkey

Dear mom,

I love you. Dearly. But please stop trying to get me to be 'normal,' or what you perceive to be 'normal.' I am not. I like to dye my hair odd colours and dress up in Victorian-era-inspired goth clothes. My bosses don't have a problem with this, and I live in a place that expects oddness. You have one 'normal' child, so please leave me to do my thing.

--your loving, but annoyed, daughter

Dear motorcyclists,

Please stop popping wheelies at 45MPH down the street outside the store. You're going to get hurt, and I'm going to have to watch the local paramedics scrape you off someone's front bumper.

--your scared, yet intrigued, observer

Dear local teenagers,

The sidewalk in front of the store is not a rubbish bin. The flower bed is not a rubbish bin. The gutter is not a rubbish bin. Pick up your bloody trash and take it with you.

--your local, frustrated, sidewalk sweeper

Dear co-workers,

Please learn how to count money. And how to clean. And please remember that this is a place of business, not your dorm room. And stop putting your dirty shoes up on the clean white counter.

--your manager

Dear darling kitties

I love you. Please stop waking me up at 430 to play. I go to bed at 2300, and that isn't enough sleep. I'll play with you when I start my day, like always.

--your loving mommy

Dear wonderful boyfriend,

I love you. You make everything better. Thank you for being you, and for taking care of me through the last few difficult weeks. I need to find you a good present for being so amazing.

--your madly-in-love-with-you girlfriend.

[Evil Queen]

Dear FedEX,

I got the computer back today. Suffice to say I am not happy. You will be hearing from me about this and you will be hearing from my SO about this considering he was going to ship FedEX once his computer business got off the ground.

Congratulations FedEX. I will not be shipping with you again.

Beware,
-EQ

[Amethyst Hunter]

Short and simple

Dear Life,

Fuck you.

- Me