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The Onions of Doom

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  • The Onions of Doom

    Back when I was in retail, I occasionally had themed weeks. The Week of the Morons was when I had someone doing something ridiculous every day - not the same person, but ... just someone. I had a month when the only stupid things perpetrated by customers involved onions. It wasn't every day - perhaps three or four incidents during the months - but they all involved alliums.

    One stands out in my mind.

    We got to work about 7am every morning. If anyone wanted to buy stuff that early, we weren't going to turn money down. Occasionally we'd have someone in for milk or some fruit on the way to school etc. We once had a young roister doister from the morning school crowd in to ask if we had an egg box he could have as all he had for his 'home economics' (read cooking) lesson was a bag containing eggs. (I don't know why they took the eggs out of the box they came in - I really don't).

    7.10am - the phone went. I took the call. It was a chap asking if we were open. I explained that we were getting the place ready, but if he didn't mind stepping around boxes of stuff then we could serve him. "Great!" he said, and the phone went *click*

    Approximately twenty minutes later, a besuited bloke came in. I nodded familiarly, one of my more 'cheeky chapie' moments and said. "Hi!" He returned the greeting, and I recognised the voice. The suit said money (talking suits were all the rage back then, but the charity shops kept complaining of the crying when they were given away...), and I glanced at the car. Very nice indeed.

    He spent some time browsing, and the Boss and I were impressed. Possibly quite a decent sale, we reckoned.

    "This should do it," he said, sidling up to the counter.

    One small onion.

    We blinked. We recounted. It was still one small onion.

    Eight pence.

    He spent more on wear and tear on his suit. He spent more on fuel getting to us. His phone call will have cost him half the cost of the onion.

    People baffle me.

    Rapscallion

  • #2
    Quoth Rapscallion View Post
    The suit said money (talking suits were all the rage back then, but the charity shops kept complaining of the crying when they were given away...)
    I remember those suits when I worked at Goodwill.

    Always needing to be held.
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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