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"Do I need to raise a cock job for this?"
"Well, no, I'm dead"
"keep doing that and i'll cut it off"
"Clean your balls"
"Well, no, I'm dead"
"keep doing that and i'll cut it off"
"Clean your balls"
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"I think this computer just gave me the finger.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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KG: "Did you hear one of The Wiggles* got arrested the other day?"
JT: "Really? What did they arrest him for?"
KG: "I'm not sure. Something sexual, I think."
Me: "It was probably for 'indecent wiggling.'"
JT: (Laughs)
TD: "You mean like this?" (demonstrates)
All: "AAAAH!"
*Characters on a kids' TV show.I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
- Bill Watterson
My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
- IPFComment
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Me: "Wave it over my head and see if I get a good hair day."
CW: "Nope, didn't work.""Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probablyComment
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There's a lot of confusion going down around here...I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"They're here to watch Fast And Furious to celebrate the resurrection of christ.""I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.Comment
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"I hate the mommy kitchen. I don't know what the mommy they're doing back there."
"We really need a new replacement word. Mommy just isn't as satisfying as
anymore."
"How about humping?"
"What the humping are they doing?"
"At least it's fun to say... I hate the humping kitchen staff"
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Don't worry, I'm only changing sex not my whole life.
Hurry up and stuck it in the hold already. It's killing my knees being stuck like this.Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them. ~ The 57th Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition.Comment
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"What state are you in?"
"Does confusion count?"
B"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.Comment
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"damnit, now I'm getting off on cookies"If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the songComment
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"Imagine if James T Kirk had met the Clangers instead of the Klingons. The future would be indescribable."
RapscallionComment
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"Oh, ok. I see it now. You're right, it'll work out much better if we stick him in the freezer."I'm new here, so if you have any questions, feel free to message me. I'll probably change this later when I find something funny to put here.Comment
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