How Not to Get Hired 101

[morgana]

Use a Supervisor from an old job who you accused of sexual harassment as a reference for another job

Wow. That has to be the dictionary definition of FAIL.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

here's a few


Hand in a resume that is not only even remotely in a proper resume style( just 4 pages of bolded words in very large font) but has no way of contacting you(list phone number as "soon"), talk about personal issues unrelated to the job, list jobs that you did 30 years ago and has a reference from said 30 year old job and on top of it said job and all your reference's are from another country( applying for a job in Canada and the reference's are in Florida)


Use a Supervisor from an old job who you accused of sexual harassment as a reference for another job

As a recent immigrant to the U.S., I do still have a couple of Canadian people on my reference sheet. I'd suspect this person was going in the other direction.

[Mr. Security]

As a recent immigrant to the U.S., I do still have a couple of Canadian people on my reference sheet. I'd suspect this person was going in the other direction.

she wasn't recent. she had lived in Canada for quite some time

[Sheldonrs]

Askme if my place is hiring. Get told yes. Hand me your resume and then ask if 2 felony convictions will prevent you from getting hired.

[MaseMan]

We had an open personal trainer position at one of the gyms I help run. I co-facilitated two interviews with the operations manager the other day. One candidate had a very good resume, and came dressed in acceptable semi-casual attire. The other was younger, didn't have much experience, and came dressed in a screen print t-shirt and jeans. Guess who we went with?

Anyway, our manager informed both candidates of the outcome in separate phone calls. The candidate we offered the position to accepted. The other guy sent a follow up email the next day. Here it is (slightly edited to keep things anonymous, but grammar and punctuation left "as is"):

<Manager>, Just curious under what grounds did you decide to go with somebody else. You never brought up any objections about me in the interview giving me a chance to handle any of your concerns. My guess is your looking for another cookie cutter trainer whose been training at <direct competitor> or some other local gym for years. Im young, Experienced, In shape , and have run a business from the ground up, the least you could do is tell me the real reason so I can have the chance to adress those concerns rather than the old fashion "We went with another candidate" routine.

So he not only validated our decision, but also eliminated himself from any possible future call backs. I can't really believe the gall and sense of entitlement shown here. Well, yeah, I kind of do believe it. But seriously...

[malmalthekiller]

-Get a job offer friday, when I explain the 24 hour window of time to take the test, then ask if you're more comfortable waiting until Monday for the official offer (since the drug test place is closed weekends, like I explained), you say it's fine.
-Call me today to tell me you didn't take it yet.
-When I explain the window of time like I mentioned the first time, you say "aw s*$t, really?"
-Then when I explain the drug testing place will ONLY make exceptions for certain situations, such as problems with the lab place (such as closing early without notice), OR certain family emergencies, you make up some bs excuse about your sister needing the car for an abortion. WTFFFF

[Seshat]

So he not only validated our decision, but also eliminated himself from any possible future call backs. I can't really believe the gall and sense of entitlement shown here. Well, yeah, I kind of do believe it. But seriously...

I'd consider it valid to ask - politely - if the interviewer minded giving advice for presenting oneself better in future. But that letter ... no. No way.

[Mondestrucken]

1. When currently working part-time at one office and applying for full-time at another office, be unable to be scheduled for an interview for the first week of interviewing because you have been suspended without pay for a week. Why suspended? Because you processed your own driver's license renewal (major, major no-no). And how did the Powers that Be discover you did this? The check you wrote bounced like it was made of pure rubber (not only a major no-no for the job, but with the potential to get your license suspended as well).

Major fail in so many ways that you are scratched off the list of applicants with no interview, and even the union won't save you.

2. From years ago (pre-DMV), when the interviewer offers to get you a cup of coffee, do not follow her over to the coffee maker, standing over her, and say, "It took me 20 minutes of driving to get here. This better not be a waste of my time," your face contorted with anger, and your fist thudding against your thigh.

And it kind of went downhill from there. If you want to get a job, displaying the fact that you are filled with rage is somehow a turnoff to the person interviewing you.

Then, thankfully drop out of sight for about a year. And just when the poor interviewer (me) has managed to forget about your popping veins, call up out of the blue to announce, "Well, I just lost the job I had, so I am ready to work at the position you interviewed me for." (So, there I was in shock. First, because he had somehow been hired. Then fired - okay, not a shock there. Then, it's as if the past year never happened, and he is going to work here?)

And when I said that we had no opening, you are not going to believe his reaction: ANGER!

[Becks]

Apply for a position for a department that is only open until 7 with your available start time being 5.

[Solumina]

Bring some dip and a spit cup

[SteeleDragon78]

Bring some dip and a spit cup

everyone knows to use a pepsi bottle so they cant tell whats in it, sheesh

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Bring some dip and a spit cup

What kind of job opening was this person applying for that he felt it necessary to bring a spit cup and dip??????

A taxidermy position I can kinda understand . . . . but anything else?

Was his name Bubba J and did he talk about meeting his wife at the fair?

[Betweenshades]

This happened a couple of months ago:

We had a guy show up for a job interview drunk. 2 minutes later, the cops show up (which is ironic since we were about to call the cops on him). Turns out he was involved in a hit and run around the corner from us. DUI and leaving the scene of an accident- FAIL. As he was leaving, he calls over his shoulder and asks if he can come back later.

All 3 of us: "NO"

The job he was applying for? Outside sales.

[infinitemonkies]

Another good one from the hotel:

Show up early. Upon being informed that you'll have to wait a few minutes, go stand right in front of the main doors to the hotel, while guests are entering and exiting, and smoke a giant cannon of a joint, stinking up not just the lobby, but the entire open air parking lot.

Oh, and do the above while wearing a tshirt that reads "go fuck yourself"

[Solumina]

If you have an interview just don't show up. When the boss gives you the benefit of the doubt and tries to get in touch with you to reschedule don’t answer your phone and don’t return her calls until at least two weeks later and give “shit came up” as the reason.