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How NOT To Get Hired 101 |
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08-20-2008, 11:19 PM
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Chairman of the Board
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,533
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How NOT To Get Hired 101
Show up to the interview wearing a sleeveless shirt that rides up (and shows your midriff) when you move while wearing capri pants .
Call for a job opening, use profanity in every sentence and tell the recruiter "that salary ain't shit" after being informed of the pay rate for the position.
Wear flip flops and jeans for your interview to a business casual call center.
Feel free to add any reject candidate stories you have! 
__________________
I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09
Last edited by tropicsgoddess; 08-23-2008 at 01:54 PM.
Reason: clarifying a situation.
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08-21-2008, 12:17 AM
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Newly minted cs BOFH
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: the end of the trail in oklahoma
Posts: 550
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show up dress for the club, silver metalic fabric shirt with spagetti straps and wide lacing down the sides, a matching skirt that has similar lacing on the sides, and 5 inch heels that have straps running up to your knees. and not have the figure to wear all these.
show up in overall shorts with skin showing from the bottom of your bra to the buttons on the sides of the overalls. and no shoes.
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08-21-2008, 12:23 AM
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Chairman of the Board
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,586
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Happened recently at the store where I work:
- Send YOUR FRIEND in to pick up an application FOR YOU. Seriously, if you can't be arsed to at least show your face to get an app, you can be damned sure you won't ever get hired.
Others:
- Come in to pick up an app...while very obviously stoned
- Tell a woman in the store that you think sex with her would be hot...with the Manager/her husband a mere few feet away
- Come in to inquire about working retail, then throw a fit when we laugh at your demand to have ALL weekends and holidays off.
- Have gaps in your resume that you absolutely refuse to discuss or explain.
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08-21-2008, 02:11 AM
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Front End Supervisor
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 224
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just had this one the other day...
Look the manager up and down from head to toe and reply "YOUR the manager?"
otherwise others ive had...
1. Come in in a 2 piece bikini (remember waterpark resort town)....
2. come in....ASK if we do drug testing then reply "never mind" when we tell you yes.
3. tell me you do not have a criminal record when you have in fact served time in prison and are currently under an ankle tracking program.....I didnt even need to look this up to find out...his parole officer who was helping him look for jobs informed me of this.....
4. threaten me.... have one of my subordinates offer to quit if you dont get the job...this happened...I accepted subordinate's resignation....you didnt get the job.
5. Inform me of how we could embezel money from the company and offer to let me keep half.....
yes...actually...these ALL happened
__________________
"I hope we never lose sight of one thing, it was all started by a mouse" --Walt Disney
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08-21-2008, 03:23 AM
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Puggle snuggler
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Northern Va
Posts: 332
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Bring your kid(s) with you to an interview
(I read that example in Dear Abby when a recruiter wrote about job-hunting etiquette)
__________________
"If you are planning not to tip, please let your server know before ordering so they can decide whether or not to wait on you" - from an advice column I read some time ago
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08-21-2008, 04:38 AM
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Chairman of the Board
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Between Boston and NY
Posts: 2,702
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Knock over and damage the on-line kiosk for employment when it asks you for References. Now is is bolted down.
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08-21-2008, 05:49 AM
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Yes, I am A REAL GHOST HUNTER
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,094
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Another way not to get hired is to come in after you put an application and complain that we didn't hire you.
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08-21-2008, 05:52 AM
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Pedestrian of the Apocalypse
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 5,482
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~ Pick up application next to "Same Day Interviews Available" sign, fill out application, turn in application, then demand, DEMAND I SAID, to speak to a manager right now, I SAID RIGHT NOW!
__________________
PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.
There are only four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!
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08-21-2008, 08:25 AM
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Register Jockey
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 461
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answer any retail questions about how you handled pressure as "I've never had to do that before". I got very lucky, the manager who did my first interview(I've had one job interview in my entire life) was nice enough to tell me I had to do better and gave me a second chance, my friend's interviewing manager didn't do that for him(even though I told him "make sure you answer all the questions, lie if you have to")
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08-21-2008, 09:07 PM
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Purveyor of Bacon
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In an RV.
Posts: 2,518
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Quote:
Quoth tropicsgoddess
Wear flip flops and jeans for your interview
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I did that! And my jeans had HOLES in them!
I still got hired. 
Walk in wearing a pair of those sweat-shirt material shorts that says "HOT" across the ass with the waistband tucked inside-out and a glitter-tanktop stating another state on it. And ratty flipflops (at least mine were nice at the time). Demand, of ME, whether I have a job opening.
Of course I said no. I can't get the hours I need, let alone get hours to hire another cashier. 
__________________
Now a member of that alien race called Management.
Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.
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