Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Peas!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Peas!

    I forgot to repost this after the last hack.

    I work in wholefood wholesale. Sometimes, I work in the customer services department. People sometimes phone up.

    "Hi. I was just wondering if you had any dried peas?"

    I glanced over my shoulder at the glowering warehouse behind. "Er, yes?"

    "Great! Can I have some, please?"

    Whoa there, Binky. Let's get this in the right order, shall we? "What kind of peas?"

    "Er, I don't know. Which ones do you have?"

    I went through the list and he settled on green split peas. I was starting to get a touch suspicious by this point. "How many would you need?"

    "Nine hundred thousand."

    "Nine hundred thousand?" I asked.

    "Well, thereabouts," he confirmed.

    We trade in commodities, and when a crop goes short we get people trying to buy us out of certain goods, but it didn't smell like such an inquiry. They'd normally ask for a number of kilos... "Nine hundred thousand individual peas?" I asked.

    "Er, yes?"

    "So how many kilo is that? We have twelve-and-a-half kilo sacks, and we have twenty-five kilo sacks."

    "Don't they have a count on the bags?"

    "Indeed they do. 12.5 Kg or twenty-five kilo. How many would you need?"

    "Er..."

    About this point, I realised he was serious and badly out of his depth. "Where are you?" He gave his postcode and I checked where he was. "Ah, there's one of our retailers just around the corner from you - about two hundred yards."

    "I've never heard of them."

    "Well, they're one of our biggest customers. Anyway, if you go in there and buy a kilo of green split peas and count them, I'm sure you'd get a good idea of how many you need."

    "Oh..."

    I was on form that day.

    Rapscallion

  • #2
    and you didn't ask him what he wanted them FOR???? Raps, I'm disappointed.
    GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth tollbaby View Post
      and you didn't ask him what he wanted them FOR???? Raps, I'm disappointed.
      I'm suspecting some sort of International Peas Meeting.

      *ducks flying blue jello*
      Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Rapscallion View Post
        "Anyway, if you go in there and buy a kilo of green split peas and count them, I'm sure you'd get a good idea of how many you need."

        "Oh..."
        It's a shame that we don't know if he took your kindhearted advice.
        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth DGoddess View Post
          I'm suspecting some sort of International Peas Meeting.

          OK...too funny.

          If I had blue jello, I'd be throwing it.
          Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Ree View Post
            If I had blue jello, I'd be throwing it.
            *goes through mod jello stash*

            We're down to orange jello. One of us needs to go to the store...
            "I don't want any part of your crazy cult! I'm already a member of the public library and that's good enough for me, thanks!"

            ~TechSmith 314
            HellGate: London

            Comment


            • #7
              Now you all are just being mean. C'mon, just give peas a chance!



              <fends off orange jello assaults while ducking behind the couch>
              The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
              "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
              Hoc spatio locantur.

              Comment


              • #8
                I used to have a button that said "I asked about the peas"....got it from a comedy rap group called Sudden Death. Lost it this year though
                DJ Particle

                Comment


                • #9
                  Peas, brothers and sisters, peas.<runs away>

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Peas be with you.

                    All I want for Christmas is whirled peas.

                    (ducks and runs, laughing)
                    (we so need a smiley for that)
                    Seshat's self-help guide:
                    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Should have had him weigh an individual pea and do the math.
                      Pretend there's something here that sounds insightful, but is really just some pseudo-intellectual bull.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Skrae View Post
                        Should have had him weigh an individual pea and do the math.
                        Be our luck he'd have the math skills of a rock.
                        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          not to mention there might be a variation in weight between individual peas...

                          much better to do it in larger amounts... maybe weigh out 5 100g lots and then count the peas in each and average it.

                          oor of course re-evaluate why you want 900,000 individual peas :-/
                          It is better to be the hammer than the nail.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I was going to make a whirled peas joke, but seshat beat me to it!

                            and if I were on a quest for 900,000 individual peas I'd weigh out about 100 peas and go from there
                            "Ride the spiral to the end, it may just go where no one's been. Spiral out, keep going..." -Lateralus

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X