Horribly inappropriate, but hilarious things heard at work

[OfficeSlug]

I used to work in a large (widget) factory in the shipping department. All departments for some reason didn't like to make the overhead announcements so they'd call ME on the phone so *I* could use the PA system to have "Joe, please call Mary" - yes, they were that lazy.

Our maintenance guy's name was Dick. (You all see where I'm going with this.) I'd get calls from the offices upstairs to have Maintenance please go to Room B for some-such or another. All day. Interrupting me as I packed and labeled hundreds of boxes.

One day I had it. I got a call for me (shipping, go figure) to page Maintenance to go to (department). I got on the PA system, "Excuse me. We need Dick in (department). Please, we need Dick in (department)!"

The whole plant went silent. Twittering of giggles could be heard.

Needless to say, I didn't get called to make PA announcements for Maintenance to go anywhere any more.

[roothorick]

We were (still are) a first-line playtest location for this:

http://www.baytekgames.com/games/details/?id=258

The monkey is fully voice-acted, and says such choice lines as "Go ahead now, pull my finger!". And yes, he actually farts.

[tropicsgoddess]

I heard this while shadowing with another agent. This customer was trying to boot up her computer (which was super slow). "I can't get it up! I can't get it up!" It takes forever for it to come (on)!"

[Shalom]

The monkey is fully voice-acted, and says such choice lines as "Go ahead now, pull my finger!". And yes, he actually farts.

That machine weighs seven hundred pounds? What's it made of, lead?

edit: wait, I just noticed that it's also seven and a half feet tall. You can't tell the scale of the thing from the photo.

[fireheart]

The reason for the "cock flavoured" is basically a reference to a stronger flavour. Most cocks Aren't butchered for a long while, so the meat tends to age more and it produces a stronger flavour.

So what happens when you don't beat the meat? Does that make it cockless meat?

[lordlundar]

So what happens when you don't beat the meat? Does that make it cockless meat?

I knew I forgot to put something down in that explanation. In the context, "cock" stands for rooster.

I'm just going to go and hide now, I've damaged my case enough.