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How NOT to get a job

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  • #16
    Switch your phone off (or at least set it on silent) during the interview.

    edit: no wait, this was how NOT to get a job. So let me rephrase that:

    Leave your phone switched on and at its loudest volume setting during the interview.

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    • #17
      If the invitation for interview contains the warning that you will be going around a tour of a warehouse and thus you shouldn't be wearing your best clothing, and that the interviewers will likely be wearing steel-toe-capped boots, a pin striped suit will get you giggled at. Also, stiletto heels will get caught in the stairs.

      The warehouse workers have been known to form gangs to laugh at people.

      Oh, and if you wonder why half the pickers in the fridge are wearing nearly nothing, we saw you coming. Or it's me.

      Rapscallion

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      • #18
        Quoth Lady Heather View Post
        Don't put the drunk & topless photos of your spring break on your My Space/Face Book/Web Page
        Frankly, I don't see what this has to do with getting a job or not, especially when we are talking about entry-level retail or service jobs. Frankly, if they want to do that, I don't see what the big deal is, and why it should affect their job prospects. That being said, they probably should not REFERENCE said photos or web page on the application or in the interview.

        Quoth Tithera View Post
        when filling out the sex section, do not cross out m/f and put in she-male...
        Also, do not cross out m/f and put down "yes" or "often" or any other such joke. Yes, it's funny. No, it's not that funny, and it won't help you get the job in any way.

        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
        Still A Customer."

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        • #19
          61. Do not challenge the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
          62. Do not wear an iPod to the interview, especially if you plan on keeping the ear buds in during the interview.
          63. Do not bring lunch and eat it during the interview.
          64. Don't tell the interviewer that your goal is to replace the interviewer.
          65. Don't tell the interviewer that as a sign of loyalty you are willing to get the company logo tattooed on your arm if you're hired.
          66. Do not fall asleep during the interview.
          67. Do not stretch out on the floor to fill out the application.
          This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

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          • #20
            - Do not ask me where to buy urine cleanse because I look like I know where to buy it.

            - Do not tell me about the wicked party you went to the other night where everyone was getting high except you.

            - Do not where a Female Body Inspector shirt when the interviewing manager is a woman.

            - Do not drop your one hitter on the floor while exiting the store.

            - Do not attempt to get a job when your best friend is our worst employee.

            - Do not argue dress code. Your neck tattoo may be a hit with your friends, but it gets covered up here. Yes, you need black shoes. Coloring your gym shoes with permanent marker will not count.

            - Do not ask for an advance on your possible paycheck.

            - Do not expect us to create a shift for you. There has never been a noon to three shift.

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            • #21
              Quoth bigjimaz View Post
              61. Do not challenge the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
              62. Do not wear an iPod to the interview, especially if you plan on keeping the ear buds in during the interview.
              67. Do not stretch out on the floor to fill out the application.
              These things actually happened to you or at your place of work?!?!?!?

              Quoth bigjimaz View Post
              65. Don't tell the interviewer that as a sign of loyalty you are willing to get the company logo tattooed on your arm if you're hired.
              Unless, of course, you are applying for a job at a tattoo parlor!

              THEN it might (repeat MIGHT) be appropriate.

              Quoth huckster View Post
              Do not where a Female Body Inspector shirt when the interviewing manager is a woman.
              Or when the interviewing manager is a male. While I love t-shirts with goofy sayings and own many of them, I would not take seriously anyone who showed up for a job interview in one.

              Quoth huckster View Post
              Yes, you need black shoes. Coloring your gym shoes with permanent marker will not count.
              Amusingly, at many restaurants where I worked that required black shoes, they actually DID suggest this option for people who didn't have black shoes. Myself, I just buy all-black Nike cross trainers and am pretty much covered. Speaking of which, I need to go buy a new pair here soon......

              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
              Still A Customer."

              Comment


              • #22
                Quoth Jester View Post
                These things actually happened to you or at your place of work?!?!?!?
                No, he's cheating. These were things that while true, were from a news article. I think we have a link to it in Check it out.
                I AM the evil bastard!
                A+ Certified IT Technician

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                • #23
                  My point is unchanged: Someone actually did those things?!?!?!

                  "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                  Still A Customer."

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth Jester View Post
                    Frankly, I don't see what this has to do with getting a job or not, especially when we are talking about entry-level retail or service jobs. Frankly, if they want to do that, I don't see what the big deal is, and why it should affect their job prospects. That being said, they probably should not REFERENCE said photos or web page on the application or in the interview.
                    Most "How To Get a Job" books now say that most Managers check My Space or Google the applicant anyway. They may be applying for an entry level position but what if they want to be promoted, or be a manager? It goes to their judgment, or lack of judgment. Carefull what you Blog as well. If you have a habit of running down your boss, or spreading rumors about your co-workers, no one wants to hire a Drama Queen.
                    Last edited by protege; 11-05-2007, 12:55 PM. Reason: Quote thingie :)
                    Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
                    The following is subject to change:
                    If Your Going Through Hell,
                    Keep Going...

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Better yet, don't put your blog page/web site/MySpace account on your application/resume.

                      I think I am one of the last people in America to not have a MySpace account or a personal web page. Really! I don't!

                      Amusingly, a friend of mine, Wizard, told me a while back that, after he separated from his wife, MySpace was working out phenomenally well for his "social" life, if you know what I mean. Eventually through it he actually re-hooked up with an old high school flame, and they are quite the item now, living together in fact. And despite all this, I still haven't really bothered getting an account. Go figure.

                      But if I did, I would hate to think that management at establishments I was applying at were checking on my account to see what I was doing in my personal time. Hey, they might have something against people with an obsession with Kirsten Dunst! And damn it, Mary Jo Watson should not cost me a job!

                      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                      Still A Customer."

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        I think I am one of the last people in America to not have a MySpace account or a personal web page. Really! I don't!
                        I'm there as well. My Space, as far as I'm concerned, is MINE. Not for the world. My ego will survive even if you don't know all the details of my life, and I'm quite happy with it that way.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Quoth Jester View Post
                          Better yet, don't put your blog page/web site/MySpace account on your application/resume.
                          The problem is that many employers will do a quick Google on your name to see what comes up, then check to see if it is you. If you have enough identifiers on your page to resonably prove it is you, then they will take your page into account when they make your decision.

                          Of course, upon Google-ing myself, I found out that I am a torte lawyer, and writer for Nintendo Next!, and a freelance session guitarist on the Austin music scene.
                          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                          Hoc spatio locantur.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Quoth Geek King View Post
                            Of course, upon Google-ing myself, I found out that I am a torte lawyer, and writer for Nintendo Next!, and a freelance session guitarist on the Austin music scene.
                            I myself am a Miami judge of some note, a former president of a prestigious Ivy League University, and a successful English author (I have one of "my" books), among other things. My name is not common, but apparently it is not as uncommon as I thought.

                            And the people above are people not just with my name, but with the exact same spelling of my name, which is amusing, considering that both my first and last name have multiple possible spellings.

                            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                            Still A Customer."

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Quoth hecubus View Post
                              As to rule number 9, writing down your dad as a reference, I did have to do that for a couple of jobs, because, when I was in High School, my I worked at my family's pharmacy, so my dad was my supervisor. But I made that very clear on the app that I was putting him down as supervisor, not my dad.
                              I think that's the exception to the rule, you can use a family member on your resume, so long as they were legitimately your employer. Not as in "dad paid me to mow the lawn, therefore he was my boss."

                              I've had to clarify a few times on my resume, as my college adviser has the same last name as I do, but we aren't related.
                              "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                              “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Quoth Jester View Post
                                I myself am a Miami judge of some note, a former president of a prestigious Ivy League University, and a successful English author (I have one of "my" books), among other things. My name is not common, but apparently it is not as uncommon as I thought.

                                And the people above are people not just with my name, but with the exact same spelling of my name, which is amusing, considering that both my first and last name have multiple possible spellings.
                                I have a rare first name, a rare last name, and an uncommon middle initial... here's me:

                                GARN, Gurnd I. (1918- ). Technician Fourth Grade, 653rd Engineer Battalion, U.S. Army, 1939-1945. I believe I was in the Bulge, but I won't swear to that (Google needs to refine the methods they use to coalate searches still).

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