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  • Fastest Resignation?

    After reading these boards and some of the surreal moments some of you have put up with, I have to ask, and make a contribution of my own:

    Whats the fastest resignation you've ever seen? (from point-of-hire to point-of-byebye) And not even showing up doesnt count!

    My contribution:

    The Subway shop I was managing at the time had an incident a year previous...two 'good ol boys' came in for a sandwich and noted that the sole employee behind the counter that evening was rather...effeminate. They decided to go back in and 'teach that freak a lesson'...one of them actually pulled a gun, chased the employee into the back and shot him, dead. The 'friend' was so horrified he actually did it that he turned them both in something like 20 minutes later. It was one of those horror moments that noone ever thinks could happen in their neighborhood.

    A year passes, I take over the store, and Im taking a couple of newbies through their tour of the store. First day, just clocked in 10 minutes previous. We get to the back room where...ugh...the owner hasnt replaced the damaged tile from the shooting (Dont get me wrong, its clean, but there are two clear 1-inch-diameter holes in one tile in the middle of the back room floor still. Cheapskate wouldnt pay a couple of bucks for one tile to replace it.). NewEmployee1 points to the holes and asks what happened.

    Well, I'm not going to lie to people, so I asked him if he remembered the hate murder that happened around here a year ago, he remembers the article...then gets this horrified look on his face, excuses himself, clocks out, and I never see him again. I think there's still a $1.58 check tacked on the wall for him to pick up if he ever does show up.

    So Im standing there with this uncomfortable look on my face, and look at NewEmployee2 to see if she's about to do the same thing. She watches NE1 leave, looks back at me, and I swear, deadpan, asks, "Does that mean I can work his hours as well, now?"

  • #2
    Quoth UncleImpy View Post
    "Does that mean I can work his hours as well, now?"
    Damn, that's some brass ones right there. Is she cute and single?

    Fastest I heard about was someone on a group stage interview - tour around the building, seeing the work in progress and being talked at, hopefully asking sensible questions on the way. They were on the warehouse mezzanine floor and a group of our heroes were on picking machines and started to wave at the tour group, parping their horns as they did. There was much grinning as they did this.

    One guy said, "I'm not putting up with this!" and stormed out. Resigned before he got the job.

    Rapscallion

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    • #3
      Seeing as you might actually have to work before you can resign...

      4hrs, at the Chemist a saturday girl did her first four hours on the till, went to lunch and we never saw her again!
      A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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      • #4
        Got a couple. Back when I worked as a geotech we hired a new guy. He spent the morning getting shown around and doing paperwork, I think he spent the rest of the day in the lab (full 8 hours). Never came back, finally the office called and asked; "do you want to quit or do we fire you?"

        His answer: "who cares, it's not like I'll ever put this on my resume!"

        The second was even shorter. Decades ago I worked on the EPA ship Peter W. Anderson (a total job from hell as I spent most of the time leaning over the rail 'feeding the fish' if you get my drift). We hired an engineer and picked him up at Woods Hole around 2:30pm. I briefly met him at dinner. Around 10pm we got the word we were heading back to Woods Hole. We got up to the dock where the new hire jumps over the side with his duffel bag onto the dock and disappears into the night! Never got a straight answer as to why but since our Captain was a combination of Captain Bligh (Mutiny on the Bounty), Captain Queeg (The Caine Mutiny) and Captain Arnheiter (The Arnheiter Affair) that just _might_ have had some bearing on the matter!

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        • #5
          We had a case of an Admin Officer who wanted to work in our area because it was a historic university city. So she got a transfer to our branch. She had a short induction meeting in the boss's office, then was taken to where she would be working. A large warehouse area that was being used as an open plan office. No false ceiling, you could see the underside of the corrugated roof, 30 foot above you. The fluorescent lights were suspended about 15 foot up in the air, and gave out a horrid eldritch glow. The place was a barn, basically, and very cold.

          She entered at one end of the 30 metre by 60 metre office space, took one look, said "I'm not working HERE!", walked through the office, out of the other door, which was nearest to the car park, and arranged to immediately return to her previous post.

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          • #6
            Chick showed up to her first day at work at Kinkos one morning and by the time her lunch break hit, she'd had enough. She never came back from her break.

            I had a feeling she was gonna do that. She wasn't handling the pressure well.

            You really do have to be able to work in an intense environment at Kinko's. I find that job to be, for the most part, pretty enjoyable, but I do realize if you are not accustomed to working under what is sometimes intense pressure, it's going to grind you up and spit you out. Not unlike waiting tables.

            And I myself quit a job after 3 hours and 15 minutes. It took me maybe thirty minutes to realize that it just wasn't something that was going to work out, but I tried to at least stick it out for a decent amount of time to be able to say "well, I tried." Didn't even get that far. It was a telemarketing job.

            Hey, I was very young then and had not yet fully formed some of the opinions I now feel very strongly about.

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            • #7
              Eeew. Telemarketing. Im surprised you lasted that long!

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              • #8
                The woman who used to be the trainer for the machines I teach, she holds the record. Well, since not showing up doesn't count and all..

                Newbies came in one night. One for each trainer.

                This girl decided that after a week of orientation, a tour of the factory, and a lot of previous insight to what the job entails.......well, 2 hours was enough.

                Two hours. She hadn't even started running the machine. She and the trainer were going through some paperwork.

                Two hours.

                I'm glad that hasn't happened to me yet.
                You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                • #9
                  Had a worker at McD's who worked the... three? maybe four hours to his first break.
                  Next thing I know, a manager has come up front to look for someone.
                  Manager goes outside, finds the guy wandering down the street, on foot. Apparently, he had quit, and told no one he was going home.
                  "I call murder on that!"

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                  • #10
                    My personal record is 1 day. When I was 16, I got a job at the local Boys/Girls Club. My first assignment was to help the other 2 guys there put the chairs away form Bingo the night before. There were about 300 chairs. While I was folding and putting them away, the other 2 guys were chatting, smoking and doing nothing that resembled work. I went to the supervisor and told him what was going on and he told me I had a bad work ethic! I said I would come in tomorrow for my 1 days pay and that was it. He just shook his head.
                    "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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                    • #11
                      I once had a co-worker last about 20 minutes. It was at a rustic summer camp in northern Ontario. New hires are told before they sign on there is no heat, no light, no plumbing, etc, etc. This guy was in fact lucky enough to be assigned a cabin instead of a canvas tent.
                      The camp was on an island. He stepped off the boat, was shown to his cabin and asked "Where's the light switch?". He was told there was NO POWER. "But then how do I turn on the light?" he wanted to know.
                      He had brought neither flashlight, nor sleeping bag, nor raincoat.
                      He turned right around, walked into the camp director's office and told the director that he had 'too many mental problems to work at this camp".
                      20 minutes after he arrived he was back on the boat going home.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                        My personal record is 1 day. When I was 16, I got a job at the local Boys/Girls Club. My first assignment was to help the other 2 guys there put the chairs away form Bingo the night before. There were about 300 chairs. While I was folding and putting them away, the other 2 guys were chatting, smoking and doing nothing that resembled work. I went to the supervisor and told him what was going on and he told me I had a bad work ethic! I said I would come in tomorrow for my 1 days pay and that was it. He just shook his head.
                        wait, you had bad work ethic... you were the only one working... that deserves a morons in management post...

                        I've seen one, the person made it through the 2 weeks of classroom training, which really doesn't count... and then on their first call they told the guest to "f*ck off" and was very promptly escorted out of the building.
                        If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                        • #13
                          I think my shortest is 6 days at a telemarketing company, real fly by night outfit, I knew of them as I'd been delivering pizza in the area including to them. Bout three months after I quit, that office got shut down, so no loss. I've a rather long list of former jobs, mostly because I'll try anything once, and for various reasons, that doesn't always work out.
                          Seph
                          Taur10
                          "You're supposed to be the head of covert intelligence. Right now, I'm not seeing a hell of a lot of intelligence. Covert, overt, or otherwise!"-Lochley, B5, A View from the Gallery

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                          • #14
                            The longest for me, was 4 hours. I only had to work 4 hours on my first day. It was bullshit. No one was forgiving to me. Next time, how about showing me how to do it, instead of just telling me. They knew it was my first day and it just happened to be on a Sunday night.
                            Under The Moon Paranormal Research
                            San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

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                            • #15
                              One guy started at the video store the day I was hired. When I started a few days later, I was told that he only lasted 1-2 hours, before he quit. Apparently he couldn't get the hang of the computer, as he was mainly a construction worker, and left. Everyone thought he was a pretty nice guy, though.

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