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  • What it's like being a hotel reservation/front desk clerk:

    I am a Front Desk Clerk... (2nd edition)

    I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer sciences, civil engineering and Swahili.

    Of course I have the reservation you made six years ago, even though you do not have a confirmation number and think it was under a name that starts with an "S."

    It isn't a problem for me to get two connecting, non-smoking, pool side, downstairs outside suites (with two king size beds in each), four rollaways, and yes, I would be happy to install a wet bar in each room and stock them at no charge. Of course it is my fault we don't have a helicopter-landing pad.

    I am a front desk clerk - I am expected to speak all languages.

    It is obvious to me that when you booked your room for Friday, that you really meant Saturday.

    My computer has entrusted me with all our financial information and decisions.

    Of course I remember that when you were here four years ago we accidentally charged you for a 72 cent long distance call you hadn't made and will make sure it doesn't happen again.

    I understand that MacGillegetty's Widget Manufacturing Corp. is a vast empire that can make or break our hotel.

    Yes I am lying when I tell you we have no more rooms available. Yes I can ask someone not as important as you to please leave their room so you can stay. It's not a problem for me to quickly build two more rooms so we can accommodate you and this time I will include a helipad.

    I am a front desk clerk - I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering twelve telephone calls and unplugging the toilet in 420, all at the same time.

    I also know where the best vegetarian, kosher, Mongolian BBQ restaurants are. I also know exactly what to see and do in this city in less than fifteen minutes and at no cost.

    I take personal blame for airline delays, traffic jams, rental car flat tires and the national debt.

    I should have realized that you meant to make your reservation here and not the "Galaxy Delight Motel" down the street and that you are entitled to the special five dollar discount because you're a member of the Accounting and Bagel Club of North America.

    Yes I will be happy to cash your Japanese travelers checque for 10,000 yen into Canadian currency. Even though it is Sunday morning, I am constantly aware of the exchange rate for all the world's currencies, after all, I am a front desk clerk.

    I do by chance know what the weather is like not only here for the next 10 days but also for Seattle, Salt Lake City, Denver, Minneapolis/ St Paul, London, Luxembourg, Shanghai, Nepal, and Tokyo. Yes I do know the best route around the storm and yes I can control the weather to accommodate you.

    Yes I memorized the TV Guide before I came to work so you know what is on every channel & when, and exactly what you missed. I have plenty of time to watch all of the programs and tell you what happened on each.

    We are expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, upsell, downsell, (and know the difference), perform, sing, dance and fix the computer (all at the same time).

    I am a front desk, I can do all things (and look busy when the boss is nearby).
    When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers. ---Colleen C. Barrett---

  • #2
    you forgot

    I know every bus and train route in the city and when the next bus will be running on every single one of them (actually, in Salt Lake I can do a pretty good job on that, and for other cities at the call center I can google-fu it)

    I know down to the minute exactly how long it will take you to get through security today... don't mind that I haven't flown in over 2 years and all I can remember is back then the lines at SLC International ran pretty quick... the again I was on the last flight of the day, you good sir have a flight at 7am

    and as a secondary thread

    I am a Night Auditor

    I am a jack of all trades, I have to be because if something goes wrong there is no one else to solve it.

    It is entirely my fault that you got charged a no-show charge... because oddly enough I'm the one who noticed that you didn't show

    It is also my fault that you didn't wake up when the wake up call went out... because I programmed them into the phone it is my fault that it didn't wake you up... bonus points if you complain that you recieved a wake-up call at exactly the time you scheduled it and forgot to tell us you wanted it rescheduled.

    and a third part

    I am a Reservations Agent

    Yes, I do know the layout of every airport on the planet and can tell you exactly where airport shutles will pick you up from each one.

    I also know every city well enough that I can give you turn by turn directions from the hotel to every major attraction and even some not so major attractions.

    i could add more i'm sure... but that's whats coming to mind
    If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

    Comment


    • #3
      I can also translate your odd Swahili text Message on your phone into Klingon, just for you.

      I can tell you the best plays, movies and ball games to see even though I personally do not watch TV or do anything resembling "cultural."

      I know the secret handshake that gets you into the Natural History Museum, IMAX, Aquarium and your theme park of choice for free.

      I can tell you the best foods to order and the best wines that accompany a meal even though I'm only recently allow to legally drink alcohol.

      I am a front desk clerk.

      Yes, I can force the old man on the guest computer getting directions to his nieces wedding off the computer so you can play Internet Poker.

      Yes, I can bring you breakfast personally every morning because it will make you happy and, thus, make me happy in the process.

      Oh no! You forgot that breakfast ended 5 hours ago?! I will personally whip you up an omelet with all the fixings, hot coffee and a bagel just for you with no extra charge.

      I am a front desk clerk.

      I will make sure the New York Times is waiting for you at 4:30 in the morning every day during your stay even though the only paper we carry is USA TODAY.

      I will gladly convert your Indonesian money into American dollars at a much higher percentage rate then the norm because it, too, would make you happy.

      Of course! I will gladly lend you the additional $20 you need to stay the night here. Oh, you need another $25 for the cash deposit?? I'll gladly give that to you too! No need to thank me or pay me back! I'll just have my boss take it out of my paycheck.

      I am a front desk clerk. I can do anything.
      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

      Comment


      • #4
        haha good stuff...but sadly true!
        When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers. ---Colleen C. Barrett---

        Comment


        • #5
          in defense of the money exchanges, it's really easy to look up the exchange rate online...

          However, having the money (or the will) to exchange their currency is a different matter.

          Comment


          • #6
            Certainly having the money part. If I exchanged money for the last guy who asked, my till would have been empty of american dollars and I doubt the next cash paying customer would want his change in Euros.

            When you're the only one working the front desk (as is usual at a LOT of hotels/motels) it's difficult to exchange money and then go get new change at the bank.
            Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

            Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

            Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

            Comment


            • #7
              Yeah see we are a HOTEL. We have beds up the wazu! Try a BANK. Oddly enough, they have cash up the wazu!
              When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers. ---Colleen C. Barrett---

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks for reminding me why I left the Front Desk and Reservations for Accounting and IT. I was totally underqualified for the first two!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth thehippie777 View Post
                  Yeah see we are a HOTEL. We have beds up the wazu! Try a BANK. Oddly enough, they have cash up the wazu!
                  and that is now my new signature.

                  and some more on being a CRS agent

                  I am a reservations agent

                  I can tell you why there was a $1.27 charge on your credit card from a stay 3 months ago... don't let the fact that the hotel itself might not be able to look that up get in the way of what you know I am capable of doing

                  I am capable of finding hotels off of the smallest detail, for example it is no big deal to figure out which hotel you mean by "it's the one about a block away from Anthony's Seafood" (which scarily I know the answer to now).

                  I also will know exactly which hotel you want to stay at and which nights when you say you are looking for something in San Diego on the weekend... the fact that we have 30 hotels in san diego and there are 52 weekends a year are only minor hurdles for me to get over.

                  I am a CRS agent

                  I not only know, but understand the tax system for every city, state, and nation of this oh so small planet, and even though you have made it clear you think I'm just some stupid lowly call center employee you get upset that you would have thought I was smart enough to know how much tax you will be paying off the top of my head.

                  I also know the management at every one of our now 3800 hotels worldwide on a first name basis and would be more than happy to give you their direct phone number (once again scarily enough, there are some hotels where I do know the managers on a first name basis and could give you their direct number if I so desired).

                  and my personal favorite

                  I not only know what type of food every hotel restaurant serves and how much it costs, but I also have a personal opinion about the quality of the food... whether or not I have ever actually been at the hotel

                  I am a CRS agent.
                  If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I am a Front Desk Clerk (*sigh* A few pearls from today)

                    I can upgrade your room to have THREE beds, not just one, for you at no additional cost. Even though you went through a discount pre-pay website and paid all of 50$ for a hotel room that generally costs $110.

                    I can fix your phone without coming near your room because "White people are scary". (and I'm very white)

                    I will gladly launder your clothes for you because the Guest Laundry is too far for you to walk and do it yourself. Oh, don't worry about it. I have my own quarters. And detergent. And softener sheets.

                    I am a front desk clerk.
                    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Evil Queen View Post
                      I am a Front Desk Clerk (*sigh* A few pearls from today)

                      I can upgrade your room to have THREE beds, not just one, for you at no additional cost. Even though you went through a discount pre-pay website and paid all of 50$ for a hotel room that generally costs $110.
                      you have rooms rooms with three beds

                      Quoth Evil Queen View Post

                      I can fix your phone without coming near your room because "White people are scary". (and I'm very white)

                      I am a front desk clerk.
                      i'd say that you had to be making that up... but I'm not that naive any more.
                      If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        We have one with three beds. It's something like 150$ per night but if you have a lot of people and need to crash it's generally the cheapest route to go.

                        And I wish I was making it up. I really do.
                        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                        Comment

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