Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[edible_hat]

"On Mythbusters there was this guy rubbing a brown ball that turned out to be made of shit."
(laughs) "You can't polish a turd!"
"What?"
"How to explain it... ok you know how we had the walls painted, got a new price board, reorganised the store and all that in the last few months?"
"Yes"
"Well that's not helping because you can't polish a turd."
"I get it now!"

[crazylegs]

My eye was drawn to his pouch because it was wrinkled

[edible_hat]

So his pants are on the floor, and he's doing this Elvis dance...

[crazylegs]

It's man time today.

[draftermatt]

Just tell them I'm back in the hospital

[Spiffy McMoron]

I can't wait to go home and smoke a blueberry-flavoured gorilla finger.

[Becks]

"And *then* I blew the tranny!"

[coldcupofjoe]

"I swear to god, if you don't stop, I will make your other eye look like florida!"

"There be evil abreast!"
"Uhm... Afoot."
"AVAST! Do ye be correctin' me speech ye land lubber?"
"No?"
"Good! I'd hate to have to make you dance the hempen jig from me yard-arm! YARR!"

"I seem to have lost my... *grunt* ...tool."

"Now all we need is six foot of rope, an ounce of Coke, a Russian hooker, two shotgun shells, and a small turtle."
"I can get you the Russian hooker."

"If I ever want to get a divorce, I'll start drinking coolant, and then blame it on my wife."
"Uh..."
"She's right behind me isn't she?"
"Look's like she brought you some orange kool-aid too."

[crazylegs]

Stop it with your porn speak

===================

Point that banana somewhere else!

[Rapscallion]

"I am Boxheaddude. Boxheaddude concurs! Boxheaddude feel somewhat warm about the box. Boxheaddude is staring at you with both sets of eyes, and he likes what he sees."

Rapscallion

[edible_hat]

"With all those parked cars [around the bowling club], you gotta wonder what goes on there on friday nights."
"Maybe... bowling?"

[Rapscallion]

"I've got the balls as well!"

Rapscallion

[crazylegs]

Well, at least he glued a stick onto it so he could pull it out.

[HawaiianShirts]

"She's buzzin' like a... busy... buzz."


"I still have to y'know, and then you can get in there and do your whatever."


"Hey! Get your swine flu outta here!"

[coldcupofjoe]

"Okay, now, listen little crow, all you gotta do is flap your wings and run as fast as you can. You'll eventually take off and you'll be flying."

"So I say to the guy, I say to the guy."
"..."
"..."
"... Well? What did you say to the guy?"
"I say to the guy..."
"What?"
"I say to the guy!"
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO THE GUY?"
"That's what I said! I say to the guy!"

"Holy crap! I just got the chills! Like Michael Jackson just grabbed my freshly dropped balls."