Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Rapscallion]

"Could Badgergirl and I claim a quarter hour out for discussing the victor between ninjas and robot dinosaurs?"

Rapscallion

[WanderingSaint]

Me: "GONADS! Your insuring the products of bovine gonads!"

Boss: "Oh thank you. Saying 'Bull Sperm' over and over again in an insurance document just seem... porny."

[Xieg]

"What are you doing here?"

"Holding you all hostage. If they don't meet my demands I have threatened to thoroughly beat one hostage with a trout every half hour."

"As long as we don't have to work while this is going on, I'm happy with the trout beatings."

[Parrothead]

Seen on a dog's chart: "Breed: Bagel"

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"Go ahead and move those credits and then just PUT IT IN THE HOLE."

"I'll try"

"Do you need a flashlight?"

"I hope not."

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"Hand over those cupcakes to the jackass"

[B&NGoddess]

s: where's andre rieu now?
me: over here.
s: god who buys this shit?
me: dunno. but hes coming to town in april i think.
s: ooooh, get me a tissue, my panties are wet.

me: no one noticed the elephant shit?

m: hey, did you know that j finally matured as a human being?
me: he got his period?
j: what?

me: ooh, this looks icy, id better be care--::slips and falls:: FUCK!

me: i dont know what it was, but this one lady smelled like she had some sort of fungus growing or something.
j: mustard crotch.
me: oh god, i was thinking mushrooms, but mustard crotch works.

me: its a goomba!

[ktopmil]

"I"m gonna continue to spread my..................cheer......"

[Rapscallion]

"What happens if pesto and anti-pesto meet?"

Rapscallion

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE EE" *kicks ice cream freezer door shut*

*doubles over laughing*

"Shut up"

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"Miss Cupcake, Butt-Head needs you in the breakroom"

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"I don't know what I'm going to do with my rebate check yet. I'll believe it when it comes in. But I could use a new digital camera."

"Butt-Head's gonna buy a camera with his $600."

"Knowing how tight Butt-Head is with money, he'll cash the check and bury the cash in a mason jar out in his back yard."

"Hey, buy me a new wallet."

"Are we going together? Go ask your wife to buy you a new wallet - don't ask me."

"You're supposed to be the mistress."

"I ain't his mistress. I've already got one man to look after - I don't need two."

[crazylegs]

Your the white version of Hightower who's reading chemistry at Oxford!

[Rapscallion]

"It's not that I don't like other people..I just feel better when they're not around"

Rapscallion

[Xieg]

"That sounds better than potatos in socks."

"Not if you taste it."

"It tastes worse that potatos in socks?"

[cactus]

"I'm just gonna move this wall here so I can eat my lunch".

[edible_hat]

"My feet smell like arse. And my arse smells like feet."

also:

"Shut up! I grew it myself."

and:

"Did you just use a calculator to figure out one plus one?"
"Yes."

and:

"What are you going to do with those easter eggs?"
"Sell them to idiots"

one more:

"So that guy does own a shirt after all. Or at least a singlet."

[Rapscallion]

"Ninjas singing the blues - we never see that around here."

Rapscallion