That's it. October must be National Jerk Month or something.
I'm just getting used to the whiny hagglers and now I'm dealing with the know-it-all idiot purchasing agents.
Caller: I need a quote for an update.
Me: OK. What is the license number you want to update?
Caller: Can't you give me a price?
Me: The price depends on when you bought it and how many users it is for.
Caller: We bought in in March 2005. Just give me an estimate
Me: OK. If it's for one user, the price is probably $200. However, we can't confirm the price until we have a license number
Caller: I don't have the license number. I'd need to call the department for it.
Me: We're here until 5pm. You can call me back at [extension]. You're going to need to provide a license number at the time you place your order, so you're going to have to call the department an get it before you place your order anyway.
Caller: I just need firm price. I think they have five licenses.
Me: [didn't you just ask for an estimate?] OK. Since you aren't sure of the number of users I'll definitely need to know the license number before I can provide a quote.
Caller: So you're telling me you won't give me a price until I give you more information?
Me: [I *think* that what I just said, chump] Yes. If they registered, I can try to look up the license number by name in our database for you. Do you know if they registered?
Caller: No. I don't know. You know what? I don't think we want to buy anything after all.
Me: [You're going to take you ball and go home because I'm asking you basic questions you don't feel like finding the answers to?] That's your decision. I'll be at [extension] until 5pm, if you get the license numbers.
Caller: Why do you need them?
Me: [I'm looking up the org's name in our database and I see that they have a BUNCH of registered licenses, most for one user, one for five users, all bought at various time] To be truthful, sir. People often don't recall when they bought the software or how many users they have.
Caller: I do. We bought it in March 2005.
Me: OK. I've been looking your organization up and I found two licenses purchased in March 2005. One is a single license and one is for 5-users. The five user is license number ########### and will cost you $700 to update. That price is ONLY good for updating license number ######### only, the one user license num...
Caller: [Interupting] That's fine. That's all I wanted. I don't know why you couldn't do that at first.
Me: OK. But you need to understand that if the department actually isn't using license number ##########, then buying an update for license number ######## isn't going to do them any good.
Caller: Yeah. Yeah. I got it.
So I finished the call and later went to do some data entry and found out that somebody else at that same organization has been trying out a trial version of the update. He even provided his license number. Guess what? It wasn't #########. It was the number for the one user license Mr. Important never got because he interupted me before I could give it him.
I suppose I should call Mr. Important back and let him know that he's probably about to spend $700 updating the wrong license...
I'm just getting used to the whiny hagglers and now I'm dealing with the know-it-all idiot purchasing agents.
Caller: I need a quote for an update.
Me: OK. What is the license number you want to update?
Caller: Can't you give me a price?
Me: The price depends on when you bought it and how many users it is for.
Caller: We bought in in March 2005. Just give me an estimate
Me: OK. If it's for one user, the price is probably $200. However, we can't confirm the price until we have a license number
Caller: I don't have the license number. I'd need to call the department for it.
Me: We're here until 5pm. You can call me back at [extension]. You're going to need to provide a license number at the time you place your order, so you're going to have to call the department an get it before you place your order anyway.
Caller: I just need firm price. I think they have five licenses.
Me: [didn't you just ask for an estimate?] OK. Since you aren't sure of the number of users I'll definitely need to know the license number before I can provide a quote.
Caller: So you're telling me you won't give me a price until I give you more information?
Me: [I *think* that what I just said, chump] Yes. If they registered, I can try to look up the license number by name in our database for you. Do you know if they registered?
Caller: No. I don't know. You know what? I don't think we want to buy anything after all.
Me: [You're going to take you ball and go home because I'm asking you basic questions you don't feel like finding the answers to?] That's your decision. I'll be at [extension] until 5pm, if you get the license numbers.
Caller: Why do you need them?
Me: [I'm looking up the org's name in our database and I see that they have a BUNCH of registered licenses, most for one user, one for five users, all bought at various time] To be truthful, sir. People often don't recall when they bought the software or how many users they have.
Caller: I do. We bought it in March 2005.
Me: OK. I've been looking your organization up and I found two licenses purchased in March 2005. One is a single license and one is for 5-users. The five user is license number ########### and will cost you $700 to update. That price is ONLY good for updating license number ######### only, the one user license num...
Caller: [Interupting] That's fine. That's all I wanted. I don't know why you couldn't do that at first.
Me: OK. But you need to understand that if the department actually isn't using license number ##########, then buying an update for license number ######## isn't going to do them any good.
Caller: Yeah. Yeah. I got it.
So I finished the call and later went to do some data entry and found out that somebody else at that same organization has been trying out a trial version of the update. He even provided his license number. Guess what? It wasn't #########. It was the number for the one user license Mr. Important never got because he interupted me before I could give it him.
I suppose I should call Mr. Important back and let him know that he's probably about to spend $700 updating the wrong license...

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