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The saga of our flaky niece:
Sliceanddice requested it and I hate to 'jack threads.
No names will be named to protect the innocent from the train wreck.
Cast of Characters
ME-Yours truly
SO-Mrs. TGK i.e. now my wife, my GF at the start of this saga
GR-SO's next oldest sibling and father of FN
XW-GR's first wife and mother of FN and TN
XG-GR's GF 'til about '04
FN-Our flakey niece, daughter of GR
TN-Our together niece, younger daughter of GR
IA-Present GF of GR
OR-SO's oldest brother
IR-SO's mother, my MIL
SB-FN's slacker boyfriend and baby-daddy to be as of this writing
AR-FN's now ex-husband and father of her two kids (6 y.o. and 2 y.o.)
Background:
GR and his XW divorced when FN was 12 y.o. and TN was about 7 y.o. She was cheating on him with a slacker who would become her new husband. No one was certain whether XW was regressing to her 'bad boy' stage [SIDENOTE: Ladies, what's up with that tendency?
] or just 'bored' with the marriage.
FN grew up with her dysfunctional mother who followed her slacker BF to a succession of residences. Despite having a law degree, BF never held a steady job. XW frequently used FN and TN as sympathy props to pump GR for more money. FN learned well and became quite the manipulator.
IR is also quite manipulative. She is a seasoned guilt-trip travel agent. SO learned how to handle that type a couple of years into our marriage. Dr. Simon has an excellent how-to on that
. GR has finally read his copy (much needed Christmas gift) and started applying the techniques. IA and I were always immune to guilt trips. I don't know enough of the backstory on IA except that she raised 3 kids by herself and is on disability due to an injury. My paternal grandmother was also a guilt user. I studied the methods of my teacher mom (she had classes in psych) who was an expert on resisting guilt trips. SO tried those on me 'til I called her on that--it took 5 years but was a well-spent effort. For all intents and purposes, I was raised to consider guilt trips beneath adults.
I first met GR, XG and their kids (XG had 3 kids who are not in this drama). Seemed pleasant... FN was living in the area and TN was visiting GR for the Easter holiday (she was living with XW at the time). XG had arranged for an Easter egg hunt around the house--most of the plastic eggs had money--FN was the most aggressive at locating them.
FN moved out and was 'on her own' (i.e. living with someone other than XW & GR) for a short time--SO and I have no idea how much GR was supporting her. However, we know that she somehow managed to come up with the funds for the height of fashion (clothing wise), come up with a new tatoo everytime we saw her (not a cheap proposition in Illinois due to health regulations--that's the only reason Chief Illiniwek is not on my keister... at the time, it sounded like a good idea to a drunken undergrad
) and stay in cosemtology school. That is not an easy task for someone working part-time at a bar. It's worth noting that this is the longest that she managed to stay in any kind of job or training program.
FN met AR when she was 19 and saw him on-again off-again for some time. During that relation, FN got into a major catfight with another woman who had her eyes on AR. FN lost most of her front teeth and GR paid several thousand for a set of partials for FN. FN finally married AR. To put the change into one sentence: She picked the right guy to knock her up. FN was starting to show when the ceremony went through (maternity wedding gowns--who knew?).
Needless to say, SO and I did not give the marriage much of a chance.
To give the understatement of the year: FN is not low-maintenance or thrifty (or even pleasable, come to think of it). During the marriage, FN went through 4 new cars in one year alone. She decided after a few months that a car was 'not good enough' and traded it in for another new one. In this transaction, the 'trade in' would have already been underwater (i.e. the Blue Book value was less than the loan balance on that vehicle--by thousands in fact
). Multiply by four (4) times that SO & I know about (there could easily be more). This nonsense put them in a serious hole and despite AR's efforts (overtime whenever offered) they declared bankruptcy.
During this time, FN started an affair around with SB (they were neighbors at the time). If FN's second child (now 2 y.o.) didn't look so much like AR, SO & I would be wondering who the bio-father was. FN and AR divorced. FN has custody in the daytime--effectively she is the kids nanny. Moreover, FN and AR are both barred from moving outside of their present county.
AR got their residence since the kids live with him. FN changes residences every other month on the average. Once even renting from XG--FN reportedly stiffed her on rent (bounced checks). She stiffed several other lessors as well. GR helped her acquire a good used car which she sold within a few months. FN like Blanche DuBois has been getting by on the kindness of strangers lately--she 'borrows' what cash she can from everyone she knows (especially IR).
The main reason she does not live with GR is that his new GF, IA, will not allow it. IA insists that FN sign some documents that allow IA to take the kids for medical care in the event of accidents--moreover their (IA and GR's) house is a bit small. It is also worth noting that GR is in the construction business and is struggling to aviod bankruptcy himself. FN is well practiced at using people. One of her favorite ploys is to go to several different people and claim that she needs a small amount for rent or utilities--each one hears a different figure.
FN even tried to pump us for some cash. SO made me so proud by offering instead to pay SB (
--her idea) to do some work around our house (we live about 2 hours from this melodrama). Needless to say, we were declined. The irony to all of this is that FN manipulated SB into quitting his well-paying trucker job to be with her more often. Now he has to scrounge for income. At present he works in some kind of sales job at 30 hours/week. As they live in a college town, I have to ask are there no pizza delivery jobs available?
FN herself has never held a job for long. She called in absent often and needlessly when she did get a job. Her cosmetology license lapsed and to our knowledge she never went about getting it re-instated. As of this writing FN is on bed rest as she is pregnant again (she's due any day now). That does not prevent her from shopping, IA noticed (especially since FN tries to get IA to pay).
FN has repeatedly tried to convice IR to let her live in her house--IR's house is even smaller than GR's. As well as trying to convice IR to leaving her that house. GR & SO have a handicapped sibling who lives with IR and has never held a job--his cut of IR's estate is his nest egg as his only income is government disability. If FN was helping to take care of him, we would all have no problem with that but she barely even take care of her own kids.
FN moved into a townhouse that she couldn't possibly afford even with public assistance. As SB is the primary lease holder, FN lost some her IL-LINK (food stamps) and some other aid.
As of this writing, SO & I are treating this drama like the train wreck that it is--just sit back and watch. Keep your distance to avoid being sucked into it. How long this relation will last is anyone's guess.
Yes, I'll keep you updated on this soap opera.
Sliceanddice requested it and I hate to 'jack threads.
No names will be named to protect the innocent from the train wreck.
Cast of Characters
ME-Yours truly
SO-Mrs. TGK i.e. now my wife, my GF at the start of this saga
GR-SO's next oldest sibling and father of FN
XW-GR's first wife and mother of FN and TN
XG-GR's GF 'til about '04
FN-Our flakey niece, daughter of GR
TN-Our together niece, younger daughter of GR
IA-Present GF of GR
OR-SO's oldest brother
IR-SO's mother, my MIL
SB-FN's slacker boyfriend and baby-daddy to be as of this writing
AR-FN's now ex-husband and father of her two kids (6 y.o. and 2 y.o.)
Background:
GR and his XW divorced when FN was 12 y.o. and TN was about 7 y.o. She was cheating on him with a slacker who would become her new husband. No one was certain whether XW was regressing to her 'bad boy' stage [SIDENOTE: Ladies, what's up with that tendency?
] or just 'bored' with the marriage.FN grew up with her dysfunctional mother who followed her slacker BF to a succession of residences. Despite having a law degree, BF never held a steady job. XW frequently used FN and TN as sympathy props to pump GR for more money. FN learned well and became quite the manipulator.
IR is also quite manipulative. She is a seasoned guilt-trip travel agent. SO learned how to handle that type a couple of years into our marriage. Dr. Simon has an excellent how-to on that
. GR has finally read his copy (much needed Christmas gift) and started applying the techniques. IA and I were always immune to guilt trips. I don't know enough of the backstory on IA except that she raised 3 kids by herself and is on disability due to an injury. My paternal grandmother was also a guilt user. I studied the methods of my teacher mom (she had classes in psych) who was an expert on resisting guilt trips. SO tried those on me 'til I called her on that--it took 5 years but was a well-spent effort. For all intents and purposes, I was raised to consider guilt trips beneath adults.I first met GR, XG and their kids (XG had 3 kids who are not in this drama). Seemed pleasant... FN was living in the area and TN was visiting GR for the Easter holiday (she was living with XW at the time). XG had arranged for an Easter egg hunt around the house--most of the plastic eggs had money--FN was the most aggressive at locating them.
FN moved out and was 'on her own' (i.e. living with someone other than XW & GR) for a short time--SO and I have no idea how much GR was supporting her. However, we know that she somehow managed to come up with the funds for the height of fashion (clothing wise), come up with a new tatoo everytime we saw her (not a cheap proposition in Illinois due to health regulations--that's the only reason Chief Illiniwek is not on my keister... at the time, it sounded like a good idea to a drunken undergrad
) and stay in cosemtology school. That is not an easy task for someone working part-time at a bar. It's worth noting that this is the longest that she managed to stay in any kind of job or training program.FN met AR when she was 19 and saw him on-again off-again for some time. During that relation, FN got into a major catfight with another woman who had her eyes on AR. FN lost most of her front teeth and GR paid several thousand for a set of partials for FN. FN finally married AR. To put the change into one sentence: She picked the right guy to knock her up. FN was starting to show when the ceremony went through (maternity wedding gowns--who knew?).
Needless to say, SO and I did not give the marriage much of a chance.
To give the understatement of the year: FN is not low-maintenance or thrifty (or even pleasable, come to think of it
). During the marriage, FN went through 4 new cars in one year alone. She decided after a few months that a car was 'not good enough' and traded it in for another new one. In this transaction, the 'trade in' would have already been underwater (i.e. the Blue Book value was less than the loan balance on that vehicle--by thousands in fact). Multiply by four (4) times that SO & I know about (there could easily be more). This nonsense put them in a serious hole and despite AR's efforts (overtime whenever offered) they declared bankruptcy.During this time, FN started an affair around with SB (they were neighbors at the time). If FN's second child (now 2 y.o.) didn't look so much like AR, SO & I would be wondering who the bio-father was. FN and AR divorced. FN has custody in the daytime--effectively she is the kids nanny. Moreover, FN and AR are both barred from moving outside of their present county.
AR got their residence since the kids live with him. FN changes residences every other month on the average. Once even renting from XG--FN reportedly stiffed her on rent (bounced checks). She stiffed several other lessors as well. GR helped her acquire a good used car which she sold within a few months. FN like Blanche DuBois has been getting by on the kindness of strangers lately--she 'borrows' what cash she can from everyone she knows (especially IR).
The main reason she does not live with GR is that his new GF, IA, will not allow it. IA insists that FN sign some documents that allow IA to take the kids for medical care in the event of accidents--moreover their (IA and GR's) house is a bit small. It is also worth noting that GR is in the construction business and is struggling to aviod bankruptcy himself. FN is well practiced at using people. One of her favorite ploys is to go to several different people and claim that she needs a small amount for rent or utilities--each one hears a different figure.
FN even tried to pump us for some cash. SO made me so proud by offering instead to pay SB (
--her idea) to do some work around our house (we live about 2 hours from this melodrama). Needless to say, we were declined. The irony to all of this is that FN manipulated SB into quitting his well-paying trucker job to be with her more often. Now he has to scrounge for income. At present he works in some kind of sales job at 30 hours/week. As they live in a college town, I have to ask are there no pizza delivery jobs available?FN herself has never held a job for long. She called in absent often and needlessly when she did get a job. Her cosmetology license lapsed and to our knowledge she never went about getting it re-instated. As of this writing FN is on bed rest as she is pregnant again (she's due any day now). That does not prevent her from shopping, IA noticed (especially since FN tries to get IA to pay).
FN has repeatedly tried to convice IR to let her live in her house--IR's house is even smaller than GR's. As well as trying to convice IR to leaving her that house. GR & SO have a handicapped sibling who lives with IR and has never held a job--his cut of IR's estate is his nest egg as his only income is government disability. If FN was helping to take care of him, we would all have no problem with that but she barely even take care of her own kids.
FN moved into a townhouse that she couldn't possibly afford even with public assistance. As SB is the primary lease holder, FN lost some her IL-LINK (food stamps) and some other aid.
As of this writing, SO & I are treating this drama like the train wreck that it is--just sit back and watch. Keep your distance to avoid being sucked into it. How long this relation will last is anyone's guess.
Yes, I'll keep you updated on this soap opera.
She finds all kinds of excuses, when we host--I don't think she's ever visited our house. When we meet at a place near her digs (like MIL's house) or even halfway (e.g. this
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