Tweet
People, you're just flushing your money down the drain. If you're going to try to forge a parking permit, keep some basics in mind please!
-Learn where in Photoshop, or Corel, or whatever editing software you’re using, the “center image” tool is before you hit “print”. I’m going to notice if your “permit” is missing the rightmost 1’’ because you can’t figure out how to crop it correctly, you deserve to get towed in for that on "Wont RTFM" principle alone.
-Get a compass, or something that can inscribe a circle and then cut CAREFULLY around said circle. About 3/4ths of your forgeries fail the test of looking closely at the circular part where the permit is cut so it wraps around the rearview mirror. If I can see 3 or more straight edges in excess of ¼’’ in length, in other words, obvious scissor marks, it’s fake. Also, this would greatly help you get a more convincing rounded corner on permits with rounded edges. No matter how hard you try to eyeball it, it WILL be obviously out-of-round to someone like me who stares at them all day.
-Glue sticks, white glue, and paste WILL CAUSE WRINKLES, don’t use it, it’s embarrassing really. Pony up and get some spray-adhesive, the guy who did that got away with it for at least a week before we got suspicious.
-Oh, and if you just scanned in a real permit as-is, don’t park next to the car you copied it from. Two identical permits in a row can’t be excused by Heisenburg’s Uncertainty Principle. I award you no points for that, and we are all dumber for having witnessed it.
-Get some cardstock and load your printer with that. Printer paper is too thin to pass for cardstock, especially when it gets damp and your colors start to bleed, or even better, the thing starts curling up. If I can read the front from the back in the dark, it’s a fake.
-Don’t try printing on a copier that’s low on toner, if I can SEE the lines from 20 paces, I feel insulted on a personal level.
-Clear packing tape does a good job of mimicking the look of a self-sticking permit. Masking tape and duct tape DO NOT.
-Make like a naturalist and spend some time observing your surroundings. I’m tired of nailing you for amateur goof-ups on otherwise brilliant fakes. If you’d looked around you’d notice that temporary permits for properties owned by Harrington Reality are ALWAYS written as valid for 6 day periods or less. (Fri-Sun, Mon-Sat) etc. They are NEVER good for 7 days or more, so when I see a Harrington that says “Sun-Sun” I know it’s fake from across the lot. (A shame, as your forging of the secretary’s handwriting was top-notch). I also know that one supposedly valid from 01-01-10 to 08-01-10 is really just a ham-fisted attempt to turn the “2” into an “8” and turn the end of February into the end of August, as I said above, Harrington temp permits are not issued in 6 month stretches. You’d be better served forging from the ground up at that point.
-Speaking of which, CHECK A CALENDAR. Before you fudge that “7-31” to a “9-31” or just pull some dates at random, you might want to at least make sure that it’s a PHYSICAL POSSIBILITY first.
-If you make a mistake, start over. The offices that issue these have boxes and boxes of these, they don’t scribble over mistakes or misprints, they throw them out. Angry scribbles only attract attention, didn’t you learn that in the 3rd grade?
-Also, SPELL your properties right. That’s another one that can blow your cover mighty fast. It’s “Nichols St.” not “Nickles St.”, just sayin. Couldn’t you have at least looked at the street sign? Once?
-Don’t insult me by digging last year’s permits out of the trash either, they change color every semester, just a casual glance around the lot should have been enough to tell you that hanging a pink one up amongst a sea of greens was a big ol’ TOW ME!
-Contrary to popular belief, I do get out of the truck. So if you think you’re being clever by hanging up shopping recipts, chunks of cardboard, lotto tickets, or anything else that looks the right size or color from a seated position behind the car, keep in mind, it’s not so effective from the front with a flashlight.
thank you.
-Learn where in Photoshop, or Corel, or whatever editing software you’re using, the “center image” tool is before you hit “print”. I’m going to notice if your “permit” is missing the rightmost 1’’ because you can’t figure out how to crop it correctly, you deserve to get towed in for that on "Wont RTFM" principle alone.
-Get a compass, or something that can inscribe a circle and then cut CAREFULLY around said circle. About 3/4ths of your forgeries fail the test of looking closely at the circular part where the permit is cut so it wraps around the rearview mirror. If I can see 3 or more straight edges in excess of ¼’’ in length, in other words, obvious scissor marks, it’s fake. Also, this would greatly help you get a more convincing rounded corner on permits with rounded edges. No matter how hard you try to eyeball it, it WILL be obviously out-of-round to someone like me who stares at them all day.
-Glue sticks, white glue, and paste WILL CAUSE WRINKLES, don’t use it, it’s embarrassing really. Pony up and get some spray-adhesive, the guy who did that got away with it for at least a week before we got suspicious.
-Oh, and if you just scanned in a real permit as-is, don’t park next to the car you copied it from. Two identical permits in a row can’t be excused by Heisenburg’s Uncertainty Principle. I award you no points for that, and we are all dumber for having witnessed it.
-Get some cardstock and load your printer with that. Printer paper is too thin to pass for cardstock, especially when it gets damp and your colors start to bleed, or even better, the thing starts curling up. If I can read the front from the back in the dark, it’s a fake.
-Don’t try printing on a copier that’s low on toner, if I can SEE the lines from 20 paces, I feel insulted on a personal level.
-Clear packing tape does a good job of mimicking the look of a self-sticking permit. Masking tape and duct tape DO NOT.
-Make like a naturalist and spend some time observing your surroundings. I’m tired of nailing you for amateur goof-ups on otherwise brilliant fakes. If you’d looked around you’d notice that temporary permits for properties owned by Harrington Reality are ALWAYS written as valid for 6 day periods or less. (Fri-Sun, Mon-Sat) etc. They are NEVER good for 7 days or more, so when I see a Harrington that says “Sun-Sun” I know it’s fake from across the lot. (A shame, as your forging of the secretary’s handwriting was top-notch). I also know that one supposedly valid from 01-01-10 to 08-01-10 is really just a ham-fisted attempt to turn the “2” into an “8” and turn the end of February into the end of August, as I said above, Harrington temp permits are not issued in 6 month stretches. You’d be better served forging from the ground up at that point.
-Speaking of which, CHECK A CALENDAR. Before you fudge that “7-31” to a “9-31” or just pull some dates at random, you might want to at least make sure that it’s a PHYSICAL POSSIBILITY first.
-If you make a mistake, start over. The offices that issue these have boxes and boxes of these, they don’t scribble over mistakes or misprints, they throw them out. Angry scribbles only attract attention, didn’t you learn that in the 3rd grade?
-Also, SPELL your properties right. That’s another one that can blow your cover mighty fast. It’s “Nichols St.” not “Nickles St.”, just sayin. Couldn’t you have at least looked at the street sign? Once?
-Don’t insult me by digging last year’s permits out of the trash either, they change color every semester, just a casual glance around the lot should have been enough to tell you that hanging a pink one up amongst a sea of greens was a big ol’ TOW ME!
-Contrary to popular belief, I do get out of the truck. So if you think you’re being clever by hanging up shopping recipts, chunks of cardboard, lotto tickets, or anything else that looks the right size or color from a seated position behind the car, keep in mind, it’s not so effective from the front with a flashlight.
thank you.
(Though I'm sure they try.)
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
*hits them with a large salmon*
Comment