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Coworker just friendly or trying to send signals?

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  • Coworker just friendly or trying to send signals?

    Let it be known that I'm very inept at reading signals from the opposite sex, and can also be introverted. I am finally at the point where I am happy being single and comfortable with who I am, but at the same time, I certainly wouldn't say no to the right person.

    There is someone on my shift for the store remodel that I've become interested in; when I first started the job I did notice that he was attractive, and recently we've gotten friendly as we hang in the same social circle on break. He's got a nickname for me taken from a movie where the title character shares the same first name with me, and almost always refers to me this way. During morning meetings he usually stands at the far end of the room, but a few days ago we walked up from the time clock together and he stood slouched against the wall next to me. The same day, on break, he insisted I hold his hand and walk back into the store under the guise of 'starting a rumor' as a joke. (Long story, the joke was that he 'stole' me from a female coworker and neither of us are lesbian. She is tired of being accused of being an item with her close lesbian friend). He usually gets assignments to build shelves and fixtures while I'm doing signage or setting modules, but will usually pop into the aisle I'm on at least once a shift to ask how the job was coming along or if I was doing something nice for my Mother this Sunday.

    I'm really trying not to read into all this too much, but at the same time, I don't want to pass him up if he is trying to be subtle.

    Help
    The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

  • #2
    After work, ask him if he'd like to join you for coffee.
    Dull women have immaculate homes.

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    • #3
      It wouldn't hurt to ask out for coffee.

      I'm lousy at signals myself. The idea of a girl flirting with me is very foregin and nonexistant in my lifetime.

      But as a guy, it really seems he is flirting with ya.
      Military Spouse Support.
      http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
      Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

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      • #4
        Sounds like flirting to me. I say go for it.
        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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        • #5
          He wanted to hold your hand. Either he's a Beatle or he's in to you.

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          • #6
            Quoth elsporko View Post
            He wanted to hold your hand. Either he's a Beatle or he's in to you.
            thanks now that'll be stuck in my head (better than Bill Cosby's Chocolate Cake song that I had yesterday...)
            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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            • #7
              Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
              thanks now that'll be stuck in my head (better than Bill Cosby's Chocolate Cake song that I had yesterday...)
              What I do with earworms is rewrite the lyrics.
              I.e., "I wanna hold your hams..."
              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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              • #8
                Perhaps getting the Chocolate Cake song stuck is a good reason for me not to get chocolate cake at lunch (but it's so yummy!)...

                Dad is great!
                Give us chocolate cake!
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                • #9
                  Quoth elsporko View Post
                  He wanted to hold your hand. Either he's a Beatle or he's in to you.
                  I love it. And I'm a big Beatles fan. Thanks for the input, guys! I'll see if I can get there early Monday and chat him up by the time clock again. It's harder once we go on break because of the other three people.
                  The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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                  • #10
                    I've said it before and I'll say it again: stop trying to read signals. We as humans are bad at sending signals and even worse at reading them.

                    If you're interested, and it sure seems like you are, see if you can get together with him socially outside of work. See where that goes. Invite him to coffee, lunch, a bar, a dance club, a poetry reading, a sporting event, a party...whatever works for you socially.

                    Is he flirting with you? Yes. Does that mean he is interested in you romantically? I have no clue. He may be flirting to try to get together with you. He may also just be a general flirt. It's hard to tell. So take the plunge, ask him out, see where it goes. After all, what if he is trying to read the "signals" you are sending?

                    Think about that.

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

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                    • #11
                      Believe me, I'd have been a lot more forward than I have if I wasn't worried about making things awkward if he's just playing around. We still have to work with each other for at least a month, and possibly longer if the store decides to retain us after remodel, which is likely seeing the stuff they trust us with already. I was actually going to see if he was interested in checking out Iron Man with me this weekend, since he's a movie kind of person, but he wasn't there Thursday or Friday.
                      The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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                      • #12
                        Wow. Thanks for the advice guys, but scratch everything. On a whim I went to the FL Dept of corrections website and searched him. The reason he's been absent from work? There is someone with his name, a description that sounds too damn close to not be him, and a bit saying that he was being sentenced on Thursday for attempt to sell date rape back in February.

                        Fucking hell.
                        The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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                        • #13
                          Holy cow! Soooo glad this didn't go further before you found out!!!!!
                          The original Cookie in a multitude of cookies.

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                          • #14
                            In that case, I take it back. Don't go for it.
                            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                            • #15
                              Yikes!

                              Well, make sure that really is him, and if it is, then just keep on with your work.

                              But, on the rare, off chance it isn't, you have a few good options.

                              ^-.-^
                              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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