Tweet
Not wanting to threadjack this post, but it reminded me of a story of mine that brought cheers and laughter to me day.
I used to go out to Assateague Island to go swimming. Now Assateague has the ponies that descended from the horses brought over from abroad and were released when the ship struck bottom and got stranded hundreds of years ago. They are a protected species and are not to be bothered except for the pony swim to the mainland to cull off the excess population of the herd by holding an auction and selling them off.
Now I also went to Assateague with my little lock-picking gun. The idea came to me when I locked my keys in my car and it took 2 hours for the locksmith to drive what takes me 30 minutes in heavy traffic from Ocean City and charged me an arse-raping $80 just to spend 30 seconds jimmying my door latch.
I figured I could make a huge profit if I learned how to use one of those key guns and do it myself. Would often make $200-$400 per weekend going up to a person locked out of his car and offering him to do it for $25 and in 30 seconds as opposed to waiting for 2 hours for the enevitable gouge.
Funny how many people took me up on the offer.
Anyway, I'm out there and I get a call on my cell phone (I left fliers on the message board). I go out there, unlock the door, get many thanks for allowing the people to enjoy the rest of their vacation/weekend/day at the beach) and I hear a car alarm going off.
Now remember the ponies? They wander everywhere...even in the parking lots. There were at the time signs saying to NOT set your car alarm since it can disturb the (say it with me boys and girls) "Federally protected ponies".
Well one of the ponies bumbs into some guy's Jaguar and the alarm goes off. This scared the pony that bumped it and since it was a mare, the herd stallion went berserk on it. He was rearing on his hind legs and stomping his front hoves on the hood, would turn and mule kick the grill, the doors and just did the equine version of the hillbilly stomp all over that car.
The owner was begging and pleading with the park rangers to "SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT!"
The rangers just calmly informed him that horses are protected and it would be better if he hit his key-fob and turn off the alarm so the ponies would calm down. He did and the stallion got bored and calmed down.
Then and only then did the rangers do anything. They calmly advanced on the ponies and calmly convinced them that they really wanted to be on the other side of the parking lot.
End result?
Jaguar receives significant cosmetic damage in the way of dents, scratches, and small areas where the paint is gone (sharp hooves and deep denting), Jaguar owner learns that he can't sue since it was posted that (a.) the park has no responsibility for damages to personal belongings and/or vehicles unless the damage was caused by the park rangers (backing the ranger SUV into the car for example) and that (b.) you can't really sue since it was an act of nature that did the damage and a warning was clearly posted. He also learned that reading and following the signs might just be a wise thing to do.
As for the rest of us, we all got the warm feeling of watching nature bend this sucky person over, really give it to him and not bother with lubricants.
Mongo
I used to go out to Assateague Island to go swimming. Now Assateague has the ponies that descended from the horses brought over from abroad and were released when the ship struck bottom and got stranded hundreds of years ago. They are a protected species and are not to be bothered except for the pony swim to the mainland to cull off the excess population of the herd by holding an auction and selling them off.
Now I also went to Assateague with my little lock-picking gun. The idea came to me when I locked my keys in my car and it took 2 hours for the locksmith to drive what takes me 30 minutes in heavy traffic from Ocean City and charged me an arse-raping $80 just to spend 30 seconds jimmying my door latch.
I figured I could make a huge profit if I learned how to use one of those key guns and do it myself. Would often make $200-$400 per weekend going up to a person locked out of his car and offering him to do it for $25 and in 30 seconds as opposed to waiting for 2 hours for the enevitable gouge.
Funny how many people took me up on the offer.
Anyway, I'm out there and I get a call on my cell phone (I left fliers on the message board). I go out there, unlock the door, get many thanks for allowing the people to enjoy the rest of their vacation/weekend/day at the beach) and I hear a car alarm going off.
Now remember the ponies? They wander everywhere...even in the parking lots. There were at the time signs saying to NOT set your car alarm since it can disturb the (say it with me boys and girls) "Federally protected ponies".
Well one of the ponies bumbs into some guy's Jaguar and the alarm goes off. This scared the pony that bumped it and since it was a mare, the herd stallion went berserk on it. He was rearing on his hind legs and stomping his front hoves on the hood, would turn and mule kick the grill, the doors and just did the equine version of the hillbilly stomp all over that car.
The owner was begging and pleading with the park rangers to "SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT!"
The rangers just calmly informed him that horses are protected and it would be better if he hit his key-fob and turn off the alarm so the ponies would calm down. He did and the stallion got bored and calmed down.
Then and only then did the rangers do anything. They calmly advanced on the ponies and calmly convinced them that they really wanted to be on the other side of the parking lot.
End result?
Jaguar receives significant cosmetic damage in the way of dents, scratches, and small areas where the paint is gone (sharp hooves and deep denting), Jaguar owner learns that he can't sue since it was posted that (a.) the park has no responsibility for damages to personal belongings and/or vehicles unless the damage was caused by the park rangers (backing the ranger SUV into the car for example) and that (b.) you can't really sue since it was an act of nature that did the damage and a warning was clearly posted. He also learned that reading and following the signs might just be a wise thing to do.
As for the rest of us, we all got the warm feeling of watching nature bend this sucky person over, really give it to him and not bother with lubricants.
Mongo
Go Pony!!!!! I've been there. The ponies are beautiful. 
Comment