Hit the button!

[tilly101]

Me -
SC - Stupid lady customer, complete self-entitled wh*re

My 1st call this morning.

__________________________________________________ ____________

Me - Good morning, welcome to *opening spiel*, how can I help you?

SC - I've been a member for over 10 years, and never in my time have I been so FURIOUS!

Me - Okay ma'am, what seems to be the problem?

SC - I'm not going to do your bloody job for you! Look at your screen!

Me - Okay, at this stage you haven't provided me with any policy information so all I have is a blank screen ma'am. Did you have your membership number with you and I can have a look from there?

SC, doing a big SIGH - It's [rattles off her number, name etc at a million miles an hour]

Me - Okay, thanks for that ma'am. Could I please grab that membership number again though, I didn't quite catch all the digits

SC - That's because they hire good for nothing lazy babies there

Me - Okay, without the number I can't bring up your poilcy so I'm afraid I wont be able to assist you today ma'am

SC - So now I'm having to do your job for you, for f*ck sakes! [Gives me the number again, this time at a pace that I can actually comprehend]

Me - Okay, thanks for that ma'am. Now, I have your policy up in front of me, what seems to be the problem?

SC - Are you blind?

Me - What was that ma'am?

SC - Read your f*cking screen! I'm not going to do your job for you!

Me - Okay, if you insist ma'am [I then read my screen. The front screen just has personal and policy information, so I'm simply reading to her details such as her name, address, her level of cover etc. Finally she interrupts me]

SC - Are you a f*cking moron girl?!

Me - I'm sorry ma'am, you asked me to read my screen, I just did exactly as you asked. How can I help you today?

SC - Seems you're so goddamn useless I'll have to do the leg work for you, as usual. I only got $400 back on my last claim for shoe inserts!

*silence...I'm waiting for her to elaborate, as $400 is the annual limit so she simply got back exactly what she was entitled to*

Me - O...kay. Well, $400 is the annual limit for shoe inserts, so you were paid the maximum rebate. What seems to be the problem ma'am?

SC - I'll ask you again, are you deaf? Are you a dimwit? I've been a member over 10 years!

Me - Okay, you've actually been a member for just over one year, however, the length of membership has no bearing on this limit, it is the same $400 for everyone for shoe inserts

SC - Um....yeah, well, whatever! One year, ten years, it's all the same! Anyway, $400 is a disgrace, I demand you get the CEO to give me a higher rebate!

Me - It's not negotiable ma'am, regardless of who you speak with. The $400 is the same for all members for that service, and that rebate is advertised on the policy summary we send you every 3 months so you would have always been aware that $400 is the limit for all customers for that service

SC - Well I don't care about anyone else!

Me - Okay

*silence*

SC - So...is it done yet?

Me - I'm sorry, is what done ma'am?

SC - For f*ck sakes, you're an idiot girl! Have you hit the button yet?

Me - The button ma'am?

SC - Yes! The goddamn button to give me more money back!

Me - I'm sorry ma'am, was it *our company* you meant to call?

SC - What?

Me, super sweet voice - Oh, it's just that the button you refer to doesn't exist here, so I thought you might have called the wrong company?

SC - What? Don't play dumb with me, I know you have the button

Me - Okay

SC - So, hit the bloody button!

Me - You want me to hit the button ma'am?

SC, now yelling! - Yes! The button! Hit the f*cking button!

[At this stage people around me can hear her yelling and me talking about hitting 'the button' so they're starting to move around to listen and giggle]

Me - Okay ma'am, okay, I'll hit the button

[I hit a key on my keyboard]

SC - Did you do it? DID YOU DO IT? I heard it! You hit the button!

Me - Well, I hit *a* button ma'am

SC, [she starts yelling into the phone incoherently] - garble garble yell screeeeeeeam yell yell raaaar

Me - Okay

SC - raaaaaaaar screeeeam *CLICK* as she then hangs up


Me, to the people around me - Did you see me? I hit the button

[Balgram]

That is amazing. There is such a button? A button that produces money? I wish to have one installed in my apartment!

Well done.

[Argabarga]

Push the button, Max!

[Andara Bledin]

I was half expecting you to hit the button on the phone and hang up on her.

I love the whole "kill 'em with kindness and do precisely what they ask for" thing you've got going. Let 'em know just how stupid you know they are without doing anything they can get you in trouble over.

^-.-^

[Ironclad Alibi]

SC - For f*ck sakes, you're an idiot girl! Have you hit the button yet?

Me - The button ma'am?

SC - Yes! The goddamn button to give me more money back!

SC - What? Don't play dumb with me, I know you have the button

SC - So, hit the bloody button!

Me - You want me to hit the button ma'am?

SC, now yelling! - Yes! The button! Hit the f*cking button!

Me - Okay ma'am, okay, I'll hit the button

[I hit a key on my keyboard]

SC - Did you do it? DID YOU DO IT? I heard it! You hit the button!

Me - Well, I hit *a* button ma'am

A short lesson in button pushing.

[nuthing12]

I can't wait till one day an agent gets to reject her life saving surgery, sign me up to be the one!

[mariamousie1]

"Hit the button? Okay!" *click* *beeeeeeep*

[tilly101]

I was half expecting you to hit the button on the phone and hang up on her.

Oh trust me, I was tempted, BOY was I tempted hehe

[kibbles]

I want to know what school she went to that taught her 1 is the same as 10? LOLOLOL!

[Pixilated]

That is amazing. There is such a button? A button that produces money? I wish to have one installed in my apartment!

Well done.

YEAH! I wanna order one of those right away!

I was half expecting you to hit the button on the phone and hang up on her.

*snip*
^-.-^

That was my first thought too, LOL. Also, I'm amazed at the number of people I read about here who claim to have been a "member" or a "customer" since dinosaurs roamed the earth -- how is it that it never seems to occur to them that they've just demanded you pull up their info and on that info is the date that they joined??

[Clover]

I want to know what school she went to that taught her 1 is the same as 10? LOLOLOL!

No kidding! She must have gone to one of those schools that encouraged that self-esteem stuff-you know, the ones where the kid says 2+2=5, and as long as it makes that kid feel better about themselves, then hey, it does equal five!

I would have hung up on her the moment she started insulting me and yelling at me.

[MoonCat]

Y'know, that's just precious. "Look at your screen!" OK, I'm looking at it. Since it's not connected to the phone, I'd like to know why you think I have your info on it...dumb cluck.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

I love what you are able to get away with...LOL. I can kill them with kindness or I can be firm and businesslike as long as I'm civil, but I can't really be snarky...too bad

[firecat88]

Anyone besides me hearing Yzma (from Emperor's New Groove)'s voice as the customer's voice here?

"Hit the button, Kronk!"

[Racket_Man]

Push the button, Max!

Push the Button FRANK