When a recurring dream takes over...

[fireheart]

Ugh, I am having the weirdest recurring dream lately....and the thing is though, is that I know the guy in my dream.

The guy in my dream is a guy I went to high school with. And the uh....social standing between us was very strange to say the least. Probably the best way to describe things between us would be to think like Katniss and Peeta from The Hunger Games somewhat...showing each other moments of kindness, but at the same time, hating one another. And yeah, it left me very confused. We both graduated, got on with our lives, he became an army dropout and well, you all know my story.

And now he's at uni, studying to be a teacher. And ever since he started uni and I started my Masters Degree, I've been having the occasional dream about him. They haven't been sexual, mostly romantic. It'll be things like me being frustrated and him comforting me, or me running into him outside the education building or something. Then they all end with him kissing me or something similar.

Yes, I have told my boyfriend about this . He's been supportive, since we're quite comfortable together.

Lately though, they are getting to the point where they are invading my day-to-day thoughts. And it's also getting distressing. I'm having trouble focusing, but I know that he hates me. If I mention it to him for some closure, he's more likely to laugh and leave me feeling like an idiot.

So how can I get rid of this? Just "not thinking about it" isn't helping.

[Andara Bledin]

Ugh. That sounds much worse than the random recurring dreams I have that screw with my waking life.

At least in my case, the stuff in my dreams is flat out impossible, so I don't have to worry about it having an effect on my own actions. But having a chance to run into someone involved would be really irritating with a lot of embarrassment potential.

Have you tried keeping a dream log? I've found that when I start writing about any particular dream sequence, I stop actually dreaming about it.

^-.-^

[fireheart]

Have you tried keeping a dream log? I've found that when I start writing about any particular dream sequence, I stop actually dreaming about it.

^-.-^

I might try that.

Also, what does it actually mean other than the freaking obvious?

[fireheart]

I think I've figured out some part of why he is constantly invading my thoughts, even though I don't necessarily want him to. And it started back some time ago.

Since he departed for the army and I was at uni, recovering from my post traumatic stress, I would hear stories of soldiers being killed in overseas combat and would be worried that he was the one dead. I would think about things he'd said over and over in my mind, trying to analyse them, find out why he said them and at the same time, he would also be somewhat bogan...kind of like Nelson Muntz.

And today, I have finally figured out why he's in my thoughts. I don't love him, I don't want to do anything sexual with him. Although those type of thoughts have started to come in, I've been treating those as completely outlandish and not possible in a thousand years.

It's because I've grown to care for him. As much as I hate to have said it, I've grown to care for him. I hate it. I don't know why I care for him so much, but I know that he doesn't feel the same. He couldn't care less about me. He hates me. Every time we talk its awkward. There's so much I want to say to him, but at the same time, Im afraid that he'll scoff, laugh or similar and i will end up looking like an idiot.

Funnily enough, one of the last things I remember him saying to me was that I overanalyse shit way too much (his words). It's true. I do. Maybe I'm just overanalysing this as usual.