Tweet
http://www.shrineofinsanity.com/modu...howpage&pid=14
For added laughs, I have used people off the board for this.
Please do not be offended if your name is used here; be flattered. 
Feel free to post your own version. XD
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Lace is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers, Iradney. So everyone please put your hands together for Lace!
Jerry: Okay, now Lace you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: MadMike.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well MadMike, is actually here tonight...
The crowd SQUEALS once more.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Lace, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Rapscallion!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a AK47. Rapscallion reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows Irving Patrick Freleigh appears.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Rapscallion.
Rapscallion: Because I saw Lace and Irving Patrick Freleigh making out at Circle K!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: That's a lie! I was home watching Supernatural!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Rapscallion?
Rapscallion: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Iradney who has recently become engaged to Irving Patrick Freleigh.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Iradney out here because Lace had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... MadMike that's right!
Iradney: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with MadMike! You know I'm how I feel about MadMike!.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with MadMike!
Iradney: Because I knew that I could never have MadMike. But Lace promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Irving Patrick Freleigh: What about respect for MY feelings!
Rapscallion walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Iradney.
Rapscallion: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Irving Patrick Freleigh runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Lace take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Married?
You nod.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to MadMike.
Iradney: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
MadMike: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 13 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Lace is married to MadMike who Iradney has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Iradney has recently become engaged to Irving Patrick Freleigh who was recently spotted kissing Lace in the Circle K. Now on top of this Rapscallion has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Iradney.
MadMike: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
For added laughs, I have used people off the board for this.
Please do not be offended if your name is used here; be flattered. Feel free to post your own version. XDJerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Lace is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers, Iradney. So everyone please put your hands together for Lace!
Jerry: Okay, now Lace you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: MadMike.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well MadMike, is actually here tonight...
The crowd SQUEALS once more.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Lace, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Rapscallion!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a AK47. Rapscallion reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows Irving Patrick Freleigh appears.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Rapscallion.
Rapscallion: Because I saw Lace and Irving Patrick Freleigh making out at Circle K!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: That's a lie! I was home watching Supernatural!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Rapscallion?
Rapscallion: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Iradney who has recently become engaged to Irving Patrick Freleigh.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Iradney out here because Lace had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... MadMike that's right!
Iradney: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with MadMike! You know I'm how I feel about MadMike!.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with MadMike!
Iradney: Because I knew that I could never have MadMike. But Lace promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Irving Patrick Freleigh: What about respect for MY feelings!
Rapscallion walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Iradney.
Rapscallion: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Irving Patrick Freleigh runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Lace take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Married?
You nod.
Irving Patrick Freleigh: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to MadMike.
Iradney: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
MadMike: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 13 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Lace is married to MadMike who Iradney has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Iradney has recently become engaged to Irving Patrick Freleigh who was recently spotted kissing Lace in the Circle K. Now on top of this Rapscallion has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Iradney.
MadMike: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
Comment