And you thought "The Surrendered Wife" was bad.....
For those gal's out there who wish to still live in 1950's June Cleaver bliss, be sure to check out "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin (scroll down the page). Learn how to be defenseless, childish, pouty, and braindead! Learn how you, woman, have no right to an education or a career. Learn how to shove all the "masculine" chores on your husband, whether he likes it or not. Put out whenever he asks. Learn to bow before because he's a man!! Learn to manipulate each other instead of having a real conversation! Turn yourself into the perfect Stepford wife! Run, don't walk, to the nearest bookstore and pick up your copy today! But running makes you all sweaty and unfeminine, so just stride real quick.
As a modern, self-sufficient woman, I was really taken aback by all this. Why, I need a man to do everything for me! What a shock! How do I handle it? Read below.
Dear Helen Andelin,
I just read your book, "Fascinating Womanhood", and would like to thank you because it has been a real eye-opening experience. Thank you for helping me realize that as a woman, my feelings, hopes, dreams, desires, wishes, and needs don't matter. Thank you for helping me realize that as a woman, I have no right to have an education or a career. Thank you for helping me realize that I *must* have a husband to boss me around and tell me what to do because I'm just a stupid woman who is too weak and helpless to anything on her own. Thank you for helping me realize that I don't deserve an ounce of respect. Thank you for helping me realize that I was put on this earth to please men and nothing else.
Darn, I wasted all that time and money in college. I should have went ahead with that arranged marriage.
But I have a few questions I hope you can answer. But you're just a stupid woman too, so do I need a man to answer them? Or should I just shut up and look pretty and not ask them at all?
Anyway, here they are:
* I already have a job since I'm not married as of yet and have no man to tell me how to breathe and what to make for breakfast, being a stupid woman and all. Once I do get married and become aslave ... er, "Domestic Goddess", will it be unfeminine to train my replacement? Which is more feminine -- giving two weeks or three weeks notice?
* I went to college and took such unfeminine classes as geometry and cartography instead of home ec and typing. Will any man ever love me after hearing that?
* I'm wearing pants and have my hair cut short. If I'm so unfeminine, why don't men run screaming at the sight of me? Why do they still hit on me? Please clarify.
* I'm wearing black. Am I a hideous beast for wearing that unfeminine color?
* I do such unfeminine chores like taking out the trash. Should I just let it all pile up because it's so icky? Or should I have the apartment building's maintenance man take it out for me because I'm such a helpless and stupid woman?
* If my husband ends up beating me (because it will be all my fault, of course) can I still look feminine with broken teeth and a ruptured spleen?
* I like to workout at least five times a week to stay in shape. But according to you, women are too weak and delicate and pathetically fragile creatures to do such things. Why haven't I keeled over yet? Please clarify.
* I plan on having ravioli for dinner tonight. Is that too unfeminine?
Thank you for your time. I look forward to reading your answers and choking down the vomit will surely come from your outdated, racist and sexist advice.
For those gal's out there who wish to still live in 1950's June Cleaver bliss, be sure to check out "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin (scroll down the page). Learn how to be defenseless, childish, pouty, and braindead! Learn how you, woman, have no right to an education or a career. Learn how to shove all the "masculine" chores on your husband, whether he likes it or not. Put out whenever he asks. Learn to bow before because he's a man!! Learn to manipulate each other instead of having a real conversation! Turn yourself into the perfect Stepford wife! Run, don't walk, to the nearest bookstore and pick up your copy today! But running makes you all sweaty and unfeminine, so just stride real quick.
As a modern, self-sufficient woman, I was really taken aback by all this. Why, I need a man to do everything for me! What a shock! How do I handle it? Read below.
Dear Helen Andelin,
I just read your book, "Fascinating Womanhood", and would like to thank you because it has been a real eye-opening experience. Thank you for helping me realize that as a woman, my feelings, hopes, dreams, desires, wishes, and needs don't matter. Thank you for helping me realize that as a woman, I have no right to have an education or a career. Thank you for helping me realize that I *must* have a husband to boss me around and tell me what to do because I'm just a stupid woman who is too weak and helpless to anything on her own. Thank you for helping me realize that I don't deserve an ounce of respect. Thank you for helping me realize that I was put on this earth to please men and nothing else.
Darn, I wasted all that time and money in college. I should have went ahead with that arranged marriage.
But I have a few questions I hope you can answer. But you're just a stupid woman too, so do I need a man to answer them? Or should I just shut up and look pretty and not ask them at all?
Anyway, here they are:
* I already have a job since I'm not married as of yet and have no man to tell me how to breathe and what to make for breakfast, being a stupid woman and all. Once I do get married and become a
* I went to college and took such unfeminine classes as geometry and cartography instead of home ec and typing. Will any man ever love me after hearing that?
* I'm wearing pants and have my hair cut short. If I'm so unfeminine, why don't men run screaming at the sight of me? Why do they still hit on me? Please clarify.
* I'm wearing black. Am I a hideous beast for wearing that unfeminine color?
* I do such unfeminine chores like taking out the trash. Should I just let it all pile up because it's so icky? Or should I have the apartment building's maintenance man take it out for me because I'm such a helpless and stupid woman?
* If my husband ends up beating me (because it will be all my fault, of course) can I still look feminine with broken teeth and a ruptured spleen?
* I like to workout at least five times a week to stay in shape. But according to you, women are too weak and delicate and pathetically fragile creatures to do such things. Why haven't I keeled over yet? Please clarify.
* I plan on having ravioli for dinner tonight. Is that too unfeminine?
Thank you for your time. I look forward to reading your answers and choking down the vomit will surely come from your outdated, racist and sexist advice.
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