Make your own badfic!

[Lace Neil Singer]

http://www.prillalar.com/drabbles/

This is hysterical. XD I made one, with CS member's names... sorry to those concerned!

A Beautiful Occurrence

NightAngel paced up and down, jiggling her cheek. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Table, had arranged to meet her here on a bed. "I have something golden to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Table was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, NightAngel expected to see her bounce up, her darling hair streaming behind her and her iridescent eyes aglow.

NightAngel heard footsteps, but they seemed rather hazy for a delicate and sexy girl like Mary Sue Table, whose tread was silvery. She turned around and found Rapscallion staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" Rapscallion said madly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

NightAngel had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so sexily. "Mary Sue Table asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Rapscallion, her leg began to throb crazily.

"Oh," Rapscallion said, huskily. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," NightAngel said and caught Rapscallion by his chest. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Rapscallion said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like the way the sun shines down on golden ripening wheat.

From behind a bed, Mary Sue Table watched with a glittery light in her charming eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "NightAngel/Rapscallion". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the cat from extinction.

[Gawdzillers]

I put "penis" in every field.



Needless to say, I won't be posting it here.

[GingerBiscuit]

The Gleaming Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Arabella strode along the path, making for Firm Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Moist Basket, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Nose.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her dull vitamin just in time to face the purple man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The man struck hungrily, and Arabella barely raised her vitamin to meet the attack. They fought long and boringly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Arabella found herself forced to one knee, the man's vitamin pressed to her misty little toe. "I am Jonathon of Firm Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Moist Basket. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in a pool of jelly."

But Arabella had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her vitamin with a twist, overpowered Jonathon and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Arabella said, looking down upon him.

Jonathon's appendix shimmered like the slow crawl of lava which destroys all in it's path. "I have underestimated you, Arabella. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Arabella's desire was enflamed. Her little toe throbbed and all her thoughts were to powder Jonathon like a Duck-Billed Platypus. Arabella caressed Jonathon's flammable appendix and he responded. They came together arrogantly, and their joining was as mouldy as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet book!" Arabella groaned and powdered Jonathon as clinically as she could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Arabella said. "That's where I put the Moist Basket for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed insanely on the grass, forgetful of all but their saccharine love. "We will stay together forever," Jonathon said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Nose never got the Moist Basket and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I put "penis" in every field.



Needless to say, I won't be posting it here.

Okay Mr. Garrison....

[Gawdzillers]

I actually did something with "Janet Garrison" and "Xerxes".
But it had bad language as well, so you don't get to see it.

[MamaMootz]

this is great! It's like Mad Libs on crack!

OK, here goes. Sorry, Ree and Spiffy McMoron:

The Miracle Of The Cat

Ree hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like an ocean that flows on and on without end. She loathed it.

Every December, Ree would feel herself getting all bright inside. She refused to put up a Christmas table, she snapped at anyone tiny enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Ree had to go to the mall to buy a wooden floor. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing floopily around and so much Christmas music blaring lazily, she thought her leg would explode.

Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a brass man collecting for charity. Ree never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the brass man dropped his bells and ran in a tub. There was a colorful cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the brass man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Ree rushed out and fatally pushed them both out of the way. There was a dyed bang and then everything went dark.

When Ree woke up, she was in a silver room. There was a Christmas table in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Ree's thigh hurt. A lot.

The brass man came into the room. "I'm so small!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Spiffy McMoron. You saved me from the truck. But your thigh is broken."

Ree hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas table up and her thigh was broken, she felt quite brown, especially when she looked at Spiffy McMoron.

"Your thigh must hurt hungrily," Spiffy McMoron said. "I think this will help." And he spun Ree several times.

Now Ree felt very brown indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Spiffy McMoron. "I love you," she said, and kissed Spiffy McMoron lovingly.

"I love you too," said Spiffy McMoron. Just then, the cat ran into the room and nuzzled Ree's face. "I brought him home with us," Spiffy McMoron said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Ree said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.