How To Appease The I.T. Dept.

[CaroPhoenix]

01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

02. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

03. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

04. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

05. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

06. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

07. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

08. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

09. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

11. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

12. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

13. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

14. Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

15. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

[edible_hat]

15. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

In my experience, most on-line was written by people who don't know what they're on about and followings its advice is at best a waste of time. (Yes Microsoft, my computer does actually have a network card, it is installed, the drivers are there, a known good cable is plugged in... the problem usually turns out to be Microsoft's networking implementation refusing to co-operate with non-windows systems, and the only solution is to power cycle everything)

[the_std]

How to treat an I.T. team!

I just found this on Clientcopia, and my apologies if it has been posted here before, but I thought it would be funny to share.

(This is the original link: http://clientcopia.com/quotes.php?id=5548)

[Geek King]

03) This is what admin passwords are for. Lost your work because I logged you out? So sorry, maybe you'll be here next time. Meanwhile, I fixed the problem while you were struggling to open the non-dairy creamer. Enjoy!

08) This is one of my pet peeves. I get calls on the fax machine all. the. time. I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't the same f***ing people calling over and over. I gave you the correct people to talk to last week! Call them!

09) Best way I've found to solve this issue? Use it as a footstool until they come back. Be using it when they come in. I promise they won't do it again once they find out you're serious about not touching it without some kind of information. I had one guy come in a week after drop off, and I hadn't moved it from where he left it. All kinds of fun with that one.


My own addition:

16) Ask for a detailed explanation of why the issue happened. We don't mind that you won't understand--ask even more questions to verify! We'll have no problem boiling down years of school and experiance into the five-minute answer you want. Keep saying things like, "I don't care about all that, just tell me why it broke!" We love that!

[Emrld]

Idrinkarum - HUG

I fully admit that when I had a job and on occassion had to deal with IT - I didn't always know the correct terms. So I would explain what I was seeing.
(When in DOs - I called it the chalkboard . . .black with white writing) We had two techs that worked great over the phone with me and 9 times out of 10 could talk me through fixing myself.
Of course I was also the nice one in charge of catering and would make sure to snag some for them as the couldn't always get away to come collect for themselves.

so additional rule

-when goodies are brought in - make sure there is some set aside for the IT department as they are most likely keeping everything up and running and can't leave their work station.

[Geek King]

-when goodies are brought in - make sure there is some set aside for the IT department as they are most likely keeping everything up and running and can't leave their work station.

Bravo! *whistle* Bravo!

Emrld, we're more than happy to give you a pass the first couple of times. I bet you don't have to be told more than a couple of times before you pick up, because you pay attention. The real problems comes from the users who just plain refuse to learn time and time again. Telling someone how to open the DOS window (or chalkboard ) once is no problem, it's when they call everyday asking how to open it that we have a problem.

Of course, yummies always soothe the pain.