http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/santa/index.asp
Lulzers. Here's mine:
Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,
This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have compulsively murdered, and I have never helped my brother with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring perfume. For my daddy, please bring a new money clip. For my little brother, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my ferret, please bring a chew toy. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some work ethic.
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter beer coozies, and front row tickets to GWAR – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.
Sincerely,
Lace Neil Singer
PS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.
PPS: Oh yeah, and remember the Idiot Manager ? He has been a really corrupt weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in their stocking. Thanks!
Lulzers. Here's mine:
Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,
This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have compulsively murdered, and I have never helped my brother with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring perfume. For my daddy, please bring a new money clip. For my little brother, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my ferret, please bring a chew toy. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some work ethic.
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter beer coozies, and front row tickets to GWAR – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.
Sincerely,
Lace Neil Singer
PS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.
PPS: Oh yeah, and remember the Idiot Manager ? He has been a really corrupt weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in their stocking. Thanks!
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