Restaurant Shift Turns Into Nightmare

[thegiraffe]

As someone who has been in a situation like this before (not this extreme though), I can honestly say that fear sets in and all rational thought goes out the window. I grew up sheltered and taught to obey, so it took some time before I was able to say 'no' or whatever. I honestly think this girl was so afraid about losing her job which would mean that something horrible would happen to her mom, and that she couldn't bring herself to disobey her superiors. Don't take this the wrong way RK or special patrol, but as someone who can say "been there, done that", I don't think being "mentally handicapped" is a qualification for obeying something like that. It was a horrible situation for her, and all support should be for her.

[tangent]
One of the reasons sexual abuse and rape is so prominent (unfortunately), is that it lives in silence and that there is a lot of victim-blaming going on. In Tampa, there's something called the Clothesline Project of Tampa Bay. They come by the unviersity every year to shine light on domestic abuse and sexual abuse. Essentially, the color of the shirt represents someone who was killed by a spouse, raped, molested, etc. Each color symbolizes a crime. One of the most profound shirts I saw was a child's shirt saying "She must have been dressed sexually...she asked for it, right?". Victim blaming is a HUGE issue. People don't want to believe that there are people out there who will take advantage of people, even those people who are unwilling. There are. There are psychological reasons for denying that it happens or exists, but I won't get into that.

Anyhow...I realize that this happened two years ago, but I can guarantee that she will not ever be the same, no one ever is. There are people on this board who have been through similar experiences, and I'm sure they'll back me up on this: sexual abuse is something that thrives in silence because we're too embarrassed to talk about it. This girl has a lot of courage, and how will blaming her aid her recovery and coping? She needs support, and lots of it. As people who have been on the ass end of humanity, shouldn't we of all people lend her the support she so desparately needs?

[/end rant]

[XCashier]

Excellent post, Giraffe. Very well written, with many good points.

Keep in mind, everyone has different reactions to attack. Some scream and run like hell, some bare the teeth and claws and fight back, and some freeze up and can't think clearly. The third option is how the perp is hoping the victim will react.

It would be easy for me, a 38-year-old woman, to question the manager's demands and insist that the police be called, for I've been around long enough to know the drill. But how would I have reacted twenty years ago?

[HYHYBT]

The teenager is suing Mickey D's for $20 million. Sue the manager and her fiance, sure fine. Have Mickey D's send out a chain wide report of the incident and make sure every employee knows what happened and that it is illegal for the managers to do this, fine. But suing for $20 mil is a bit much.

I believe they did send out a warning about this, *before that incident happened*. I read about it posted on the wall at work, a few months, maybe a year before, though of course it was a warning that people had been making such calls and not to fall for them.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I don't want to provoke anyone, but some people do put themselves in dangerous situations. There's even a name for it, Victimology I think, I read it in one of my books. The context was the Neville Heath murders; basically saying that Margery Gardner, the first victim, put herself in a dangerous situation. Basically she was a murder victim going around looking for someone to kill her.

And there are so many girls doing dangerous things, walking home down dark alleyways, dressing like whores etc. NO-ONE deserves to be raped or assaulted, regardless of what they did. NO-ONE provokes that kind of attack. However, it's a sad fact that some people do put themselves in danger. This girl deserves our sympathy for what happened to her; as far as she was concerned, it was better to obey her superiors than be fired. They really let her down.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You are right, Giraffe. Great post.

[Posture Moll]

Victim blaming is a HUGE issue. People don't want to believe that there are people out there who will take advantage of people, even those people who are unwilling. There are. There are psychological reasons for denying that it happens or exists, but I won't get into that.

I hear you. The fact that there are truly vicious people out there is a terrifying and ugly fact of life but (at least in my eyes) so many people will try to lull themselves into a false sense of security by loudly declaring how victims set themselves up to be killed/robbed/assaulted, thus mentally reinforcing the absurd notion that such things could never happen to them.

I feel truly sorry for the distress that young lady suffered. She may have been more naive for her age then most, but the real blame lies on those vile people that consciously chose to subject her to such abuse.

[BusBus]

I hear you. The fact that there are truly vicious people out there is a terrifying and ugly fact of life but (at least in my eyes) so many people will try to lull themselves into a false sense of security by loudly declaring how victims set themselves up to be killed/robbed/assaulted, thus mentally reinforcing the absurd notion that such things could never happen to them.

That's exactly it! I can't remember the proper term for it, but when presented with a terrible scenario those victim appears to have been random, people will automatically blame the victim to counteract the whole "it could have easily been me" thing (i.e. she dressed like a whore, she was walking by herself through the park at night, she was always a cock-tease etc etc).

Shame on the asst manager and the fiance! A lesser shame on the other folks who refused to participate, but did not call the cops.

I hope the girl gets some compensation out of this, because that has got to be quite the trauma.

-BB

[CherryB]

I don't think I was ever that naive.


At some point, did some semblance of a backbone ever appear? Apparently not. Scarey how easy it is to bluff some people.

[thegiraffe]

Busbus - the proper term is victim blaming. It's placing blame on the victim that they instigated it somehow (she was dressed sexy....she was asking for it!) to 'excuse' the perpetrator. There are psychological reasons for it - it's a defense mechanism. Like I said in my longer post - we don't want to believe that people are capable of random acts of violence like that. It's a pretty sad prognosis for the human race if you ask me.