Write your own letter to Santa!

[Lace Neil Singer]

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For added fun, use people from the board! Just like this:


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Ree's Christmas party. It was Rapscallion who spiked the punch with too much absinthe. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like hash.

I thought it was funny when I put Jester's t-shirt on my head and danced the Macarena on the sofa while singing `Enter Sandman'. I didn't mean to break Ree's stereo and don't know why Ree would sue me for criminal damage.

I don't remember calling MadMike's wife a ugly cow---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and silver lipstick!

And when I threw up on NightAngel's husband's back, it was only because I ate too much of that curry.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my motorbike through my neighbor's sitting room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a crazy bitch and have me arrested for manslaughter!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all drunk and tired. And I'm really not to blame for any of this crazy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and truthfully yours,
Lace (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 666 bucks!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Oh dear, I am in some trouble now!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Technical Angel's Christmas party. It was Sphinx who spiked the punch with too much pabst blue ribbon. I can't help it if I drank 12 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like raw sewage.

I thought it was funny when I put Ringman's tighty whities on my head and danced the moshing on the credenza while singing `The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald'. I didn't mean to break Technical Angel's cell phone and don't know why Technical Angel would sue me for lewd conduct with appliances.

I don't remember calling Knightmare's wife a goopy donkey---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!

And when I threw up on Puckish One's husband's bicep, it was only because I ate too much of that vegemite.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my segway through my neighbor's crawl space. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slimey chipmunk and have me arrested for public drunkenness!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all hot and rusty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this inflatable stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slovenly yours,
Irving Patrick Freleigh (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 3,973 bucks!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Ya'll ready for this doozy . . . .if not, too bad

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Whitney's Christmas party. It was Brandy who spiked the punch with too much Cabernet. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like peppermint.

I thought it was funny when I put protege's brassiere on my head and danced the tango on the sofa while singing `Hey Santa'. I didn't mean to break Whitney's iPod and don't know why Whitney would sue me for flashing.

I don't remember calling MadMike's wife a scary cow---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and gray lipstick!
And when I threw up on Diana's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that bacon.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my SUV through my neighbor's window. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stupid horse and have me arrested for larceny!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all ashamed and embarrassed. And I'm really not to blame for any of this very stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and running yours,

DGoddess (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 69 bucks!