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Punishment: SC gets the discount, but in so doing is signed up for a monthly non-cancellable subscription for the same product at full price for the next year.
Crime: SC (in the US) never tips at restaurants.
"I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."
Punishment: The SC is now required to tithe 15 % of their wages to a fund for underpaid servers for the rest of the SC's life.
Crime: SC sees someone else reading a book they disapprove of and snatches it from the reader's hands, then loudly berates the ex-reader while stomping on and ripping up the book.
Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.
Punishment: Police are called and when SC lands in jail, SC's roommate stomps on and rips up all of SC's stuff.
Crime: SC's kids are crying for attention/food/etc. SC just ignores them while playing games on her phone. When people confront SC over concern for her kids, SC gets belligerent, saying that she is a good parent, all while flailing her arms around and throwing hissy fits.
Punishment: SC is beaten back by someone who ensures that the SC will need one large and final visit from the Tooth Fairy.
Crime: SC goes to a restaurant and wants his food done in a precise, picky, exact way. He never bothers to mention this while he's ordering, nor to tell any of the staff after he's ordered. But he certainly turns into a human hurricane when his food, having been made in the normal, ordinary way most people get their food at this restaurant, arrives.
Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.
Punishment: The SC has to stand outside the store for eight hours straight, for the next seven days, telling everyone who passes by them the area's legal requirements for buying cigarettes. They'll be paid for this, but if they slack or walk off the job, that paycheck gets lit up and treated like a cigarette by the store's manager.
Crime: The SC tries to return shoes that are completely worn out in a new expensive box. When he can't get his way, he leaves, snatching the Christmas donation box from the Liberation Navy on his way out.
Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.
Punishment: Dr. Cutter, world-renowned specialist in amputation, follows him in there with her trusty scissors and makes everyone else happy.
Crime: SC and his friends decide to play D&D. They decide to play it literally instead of at a table. They decide to do this in the supermarket, where they buy liquor and enter battle with a red dragon only they can see.
Alt Crime: SC enjoys using her new Discovered card to go shopping with. The problem is, she discovered it on a department store's floor and it has someone else's name, which she is well-practiced in forging.
Punishment: After becoming somewhat inebriated, the D&D players can no longer separate reality from fantasy and start attacking customers thinking they're dragons. The police escort them to a non-fantasy dungeon.
Alt-Punishment: After using the stolen card to buy a lovely red outfit, the SC decides to go grocery shopping where they are mistaken for a red dragon and treated accordingly. In helping the SC recover from the attack the police discover the stolen credit card. The SC gets to join the D&D players in the dungeon, where the game continues.
Crime: SC sits on the floor in the middle of a book store for hours looking at books and not moving out of anyone's way.
"I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."
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