Dear....

[friendofjimmyk]

Dear Victoria's Secret,

Your bras suck!!!! I bought two bras last year that totalled nearly 100 bucks. They both didn't last even a year. One was a nude colored bra that you could take the straps off if necessary. Well, I did that once for a tank top and the straps have NEVER been the same. I'm lucky if they stay on. The other bra - the connectors ripped right off!!! It's not like I wore them all the time - if that was the case, I would understand...maybe. Maybe if you focused on making a better product over plucking amazon women from mars for your ads you'd be a better company.

Loose straps mean floppy t**s!

I barf in your general direction!

[Kusanagi]

Dear Kusanagi,

I showed the picture of you dressed like Leon from Kingdom Hearts (from the cosplay thread) to my coworkers just to show them the gunsword thing, and now there's a newsroom full of married women getting drool on my keyboard. I'm not sure if you should be flattered or traumatized. Oops?


Mysty

Oh christ.

[the_std]

Dear J.

It was great, really. I don't mind giving. But... Rolling over and falling asleep? Harsh. To quote Austin Powers, "Owch, baby. Very owch."

Still awake,
Me.

[Jester]

Dear Coworker,

I know I say yes just about every time someone asks me to work for them. I know that I am one of the "go to" guys at work. But every now and then, I will say no. So, when you texted me at lunchtime to ask me to work for you, and I said no, I don't know why you think calling me at midnight when I am out attempting to have fun will result in a different outcome. Oh, and when I don't answer your call....yeah, I recognized your number. Answer's not changing. And if what you had to say was all that important, you would leave a message. You didn't. You know why. Hell, I know why. Because you were calling to ask me the same thing you asked me via text, and you didn't want to leave a message in the hopes that I would call you back and not just erase the message. Well, sorry honey....not happening. I work all day today. Feel free to come ask me to my face. The answer will still be the same. I am NOT giving up my Sunday off. I finally started getting my Sundays off back, after weeks of working on my normal day off. You're cute, darlin'....but you ain't THAT cute.

Signed,

NOT the Sunday Go To Guy.
Not the SUNDAY

[Peppergirl]

Oh christ.

Where might one see one of these videos? Just askin', of course.

[draggar]

Deal person I was behind at the self-checkout in Home Depot yesterday,

If you don't know how to use the self checkout, then DON'T USE IT (especially when the cashiers do not have a line).

Dear person I was behind at a traffice light on my way home from Home Depot yesterday;

THE LIGHT IS GREEN, GO!!!!!

Dear person behind me at that time,.

The car in front of me isn't moving, inching forward will NOT make me rear-end them, in fact, I hope you rar end me, my car is almost paid for.

[iradney]

Dear legs

You're getting better at walking! Even Hopper is beginning to approve the speed at which you walk him. Keep it up. Btw, you're looking better these days

Love
rads

[monolayth]

Dear PKI,

When you tell me there is practice at your house at 11 on Saturday. Please let there be practice at your house at 11 on Saturday. I showed up. No one was there. Your did not answer your phone. I would have rather slept in. then go out in the cold for nothing.

Lots of love,
The cold and tired one.

[Thrifty]

Dear everyone at my internship

(Internship is a drug rehabilitation residential treatment center for women)

Well my internship is almost over and I want to say you all rock.

To the staff- you guys were so open to teaching me things and helping me out thank you sooo much for that. I've learned more than I could ever imagine, and I really hope that I can get a job working their this summer.

To the clients- you ladies are incredible. I know this is a scary time for you, but you should be sooooo proud of yourselves for getting help. To the clients who have graduated, congratulations! I hope you continue to do well.

To the clients who have hit rough stops and quit and relapsed. I pray that things will get better for you and you'll become clean again.

[Slytovhand]

Dear Tottenham,

The idea is to win. Do you recall that concept? Just getting the first goal is not good enough.

BTW - corners.. they are supposed to give you a better chance to score (see above). They weren't invented as a more complex method of giving the ball back to your opponents!

Slyt.



Dear ArenaBoy,

Please tell your team to win - I don't want to see MU get the premiership again :P

[Der Cute]

Dear body,

I'm taking these medications to stop seizures and depression. It does NOT mean inflate fat cells at a evilly speedy rate. I'm asking you, no, begging you, to NOT gain any more weight. I want you to lose that pooch in the front. I want the thighs to get firmer. Can't you feel it? The stairs I walk every day are easier than before! SO STOP ADDING FLUB TO THE POOCH GOD DAMMIT.

__________________________________________________ __________

Dear Work,

I really think I'm an asset as a contractor, and am hoping to be hired on FTE. Please make the decision soon and get me on board.

__________________________________________________ __________

Dear Roomie,

I pay you rent for the use of the bedroom and a bathroom to myself. STOP WAKING ME UP IN THE MORNING BY TAKING A DUMP IN THERE. You're using my tp, you're making NOISE, and just...why? You have your own bathroom, so use it, buster. The only poo in that toilet should be mine.

And stop asking for painkillers. You have issues. Go work on them yourself. I'm not going to enable you at all. You're an addict, a low level one, who's trying to silence pain. I WILL NOT LET YOU USE ME FOR DRUGS.

And stop whining about money. Ya know what? I work. I work and save. You work, yes, but you work and blow. Guess who has about $1K in the bank? Me. Guess who has a gas efficient car? Me. Guess who's got a plan? Me. I go to THRIFT stores to buy clothes. I go look for sales. I buy groceries on the cheap. You just think, Oh I'll work harder to fix the gap. WRONG. You spend less than you make and save the rest. BTW, stop eating at your mom's house. Learn how to budget.

[crazylegs]

Dear CO

Please, for the love of every deity imaginable give us the powers and equipment to to our bloody jobs. We are, as the saying goes, toothless tigers.

Yours, frustratedly

Crazylegs

[ShinyGreenApple]

Dear Mum -

There was a reason I didn't go on the trip to younger bro's bowling tournament this weekend, aside from the fact I'm on what I fondly refer to as "Foal Watch 2008." No, it's not here yet, thanks for asking, and welcome home. The reason I didn't go was because Dad went. Three hour long car trips with bluegrass and southern gospel music on a fuzzy FM station blasting at a volume that threatens both my sanity and my hearing ain't my cup o' tea, nor is it yours. Please do not recall three times over in painful detail how he did this all weekend, your whining is just as bad, if not worse than actually being there. I also don't want to hear about how he put the windows down in the car, despite the fact that they don't always go back up. Or about how he tried to volunteer to give someone a jump and you wouldn't let him because you think that'll 'ruin' my car. Yes, he has all the tact and sensitivity of a blunt knife, but most of the time it's harmless, and you only worsen the situation by 80% with the way you react to him. The only good thing to come of this is that I now no longer feel bad that I didn't go, since I missed last year as well. Next time we must all take a trip, I will be traveling by air even if it means draining my bank account and selling my own hair.

- Your daughter, LadyB.

[Evil Queen]

Dear "Kim" at my local Bank of America,

You're such a wonderful employee for attempting to pronounce my last name properly and laughing when I told you the story about how I figured it out when I was 6. You're so nice and I'm so happy you asked me how my day was and actually responded when I asked how yours was! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

-EQ

(nice letters are sometimes needed)

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Patty Murf--

Thanks for reminding me about FD&S. I totally love my new bed, and I love the low, LOW price even more!

Forever in your debt--

Your favorite sister


************************************************** *************


Dear Furniture Steals and Deals--

Thank you for existing. Thank you even more for having a store in my area.

Happily--

Me