Dear....

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

There was nothing you could have done.

Although, maybe keeping some Advil in your purse in case of an emergency....




I'm sorry you want that ring. So do I.

--Sunshine

[fireheart]

Dear brain,

Yes I was feeding you antidepressants for several months. You liked it. Now I'm coming off of them and you are giving me dizzy spells. please, please, please, stop giving me dizzy spells.

[SengaKitty]

Dear Gods above whoever you are,

You seem to have been very displeased with me for a while now. I'm not sure why, but such is the case. This week, this seems to be turning around. I've found an EXCELLENT price for an airline ticket to Atlanta for a weekend to see my son just a few days before his birthday. I would very much appreciate it if you would please please please assist me in turning my mother in law and sister's hearts and heads to forming a meeting so that I might see my son, if only for a few hours. I am going to email the MIL right now. Please let her read said email. Please let my sister answer the phone tomorrow when I call her, and be agreeable. Please let my MIL be agreeable. Please let it all work

Right now I'm feeling like I'm not allowed to be this lucky. I won't believe any of it until I have my son in my arms the weekend of 4/11-4/12.

Please help me with this
RHPG

[SengaKitty]

Not so Dear MIL,
Don't you ever Ever EVER call MY son your son again. He is NOT your son. You did not conceive him and carry him. YOU did not nearly die giving birth to him. YOU did not pump and cry and do your best to give him milk. YOU did not do everything to protect him from the "man" who really IS your son when he tried to kill both me and MY son while I was pregnant. Yes, you take care of him. Yes you have custody of him (though I have ways of battling that). But you are not, nor will you EVER BE his mother.

The true mother of your GRAND son
RHPG

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear RHPG,

I'm sorry she's doing this to you. How horrible of her. *lots of hugs and offers chocolate*

--RP

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear fellow CSers,

I have finished watching the entire 4 seaons of Dragnet on hulu.com!

Let's all do a celebratory dance!

Dancing,
Rummy
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear legs & ankles,

Why are you so swollen I can barely bend my knees or ankles while walking up the stairs? Do you know how hard it is to get around? I know I at more salt than usual, but please, don't do this to me again!

Worriedly,
Rummy

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear various people,

(this is all mashed up, just venting)

Stop petulantly asking "If you could just....". I don't ask for your help for my own entertainment, okay?

(Problem x) is real. I don't really care if you can't see it. It's real. It makes things problematic. You figure I'm just lazy, and that if I just did (simple thing) all my troubles would vanish into a puff of smoke. You'd be funny with your naivete if you didn't make me so angry. (Simple thing) does nothing to change what (Problem x) is. It's there, and that's it. Stop asking me to do what amounts to giving birth to a refridgerator, okay? Just believe what I am telling you.

Your understanding of the world doesn't encompass all facets of everything, so do stop acting like it does.

If I hear it one more time, I'm going to melt it down/smash it and turn it into something decorative. Quit.

Lastly, don't ever share whatever it is that you're evidently smoking/whatever it is that you're evidently on with me. (Not that you do.) It makes you petulant, cranky, and makes you seem less intelligent than you evidently are.

--RP

Dear allergies,

Please vanish without a trace.

--RP

Dear skin,

Don't crack. Don't crackdon'tcrackdon'tcrack.

--the human you're on

Dear Rummy's legs and ankles,

Stop hurting her.

--RP

Dear Rummy,

*hugs gently* *offers herb tea, ice pads and heating pads*

--RP

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear RP,

Thank you! I need to just lie down and keep my feet up for a while. That means Mr. Rum needs to watch Child Rum and not just yell at her while he's on the couch.

As for the idiots who think they're helping you: They can DIAF. I'll bop them alongside the head if you need me to.

Love,
Rummy

[SengaKitty]

Dear RP,

-offers giant hugs- I'm here for you anytime you need to talk sweety. I've got Skype, Yahoo, and AIM, and i'm always on at least 2 out of the three.

RHPG

[the_std]

Dear Fucktar- er, Friends,

There are various rules of etiquette that accompany sharing a hotel room with other people, especially when the two beds are a mere two feet apart. I shall now share a few of these with you.

1. There is no way to suck dick quietly. I don't care how horny you are, I don't care how stealthy you think you're being, it just cannot happen. I find it hard to sleep with the slurp and giggle routine going on four feet away from my head, but it is especially bad when you wake me up from a blissful slumber to do this at three in the farking morning.

2. I know that, when you're asleep, it is nearly impossible to control your bodily eructations, but for the love of god, take some Beano or something before you go to sleep. On the night when you didn't wake me up with your little fantasy fest, you managed to do so with a combination of the nastiest farts I've ever been witness to, and the most unholy snoring my poor ears have ever had to hear. And it wasn't just one of you! Both of you kept up with the terrifying body noises long enough to make attempting sleep nearly impossible.

3. Hiding your dirty, smelly underwear and socks in my bed before I get into it so that, when I turn over, I get a face full of your daily sweat and other secretions, was the most juvenile thing I have ever been witness to. You are so lucky that I was nearly comatose from lack of sleep (caused by you numbskulls) that, even though I wanted to, I hadn't the energy to brutally destroy you.

I am never, ever taking a trip with the two of you again. Consider yourselves blessed that you survived this one intact.

Glad to be home and away from you,
Me

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear the_std,

I agree. I wouldn't take another trip with those two either. I'm sorry.

I have chocolate, though. *offers*

--RP

Dear Benadryl,

You're fired.

--RP

[crazylegs]

Dear the_std,

Uh, yer, they don't sound like the easiest of couples to get along with. You have my sympathies on having to deal with their lack of manners.

On a lighter note I very nearly cleansed my sinuses with coke upon reading the first paragraph, I really should know better by now!

Regards,

Crazylegs

++++++++++++++++++++

Dear LR,

My word, you really are one lucky bastard, you know that right? Get with sending me the visitors times so I can admonish you for letching at the nurses!

Crazylegs

[SengaKitty]

Dear Smiley's hotel
Get your damn internet working again so I can keep my Smiley brother smiling!

[smileyeagle1021]

Dear Smiley's hotel
Get your damn internet working again so I can keep my Smiley brother smiling!

translated-
Dear Telecom,
Stop sucking like you are well known to do. Please restore internet to Smiley's hotel so RHPG can talk to the gay brother that she never had (even though she probably does).

while we're at it
Dear Telecom,
This is why I'm now with Comcast instead of you at home... good day.

Dear Bossman,
Seriously, the building is falling apart... your external lights are running off of standard grade 20 Amp circuit which is going on 40 years old... the pipes are starting to make noise... light outlets are starting to flicker and need to be replaced... and now the network is starting to have problems... can you please get the hint that what the hotel needs is a complete overhaul.

Dear RHPG,
Thanks for being the sister that I never had... you have kept me sane, and for that I thank you.

[SengaKitty]

Dear Smiley,
You now have me in tears, as you too have kept ME sane. You are the brother who cares about me, and I love you for it. Thank you for spending my sleepless nights with me. By the way, come to Louisville, the sun's making it's first appearance in FOUR DAYS! I told you this weeks gonna change!


Dear Gods,
This is it. Get ready. It's time for a take down scene, cause this faerie's DONE. I am not letting you hold that magnifying glass over me any more. I will not be the ant. This week things will change. This week things will get better. I REFUSE (yes that was necessary) to allow things to get any worse than they already are. The only place they're allowed to go from here is up. So get ready, cause I may be submissive, but submissive does NOT equal doormat!
Come here you mean kid and gimme that magnifier -goes after the Gods themselves-