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Dear Mr. Rum's Mother,
1. When I first I met my husband, your son, he was fat.
2. When I married my husband, your son, he was still fat.
3. Just because I'm more of a meat and potatoes gal (veggies are actually a figment of everyone's imagination), doesn't mean I've made him fat.
4. Just admit it: You have a fat son. He was fat under your watch, and he just hasn't lost weight under my watch.
5. No amount of "healthy meals" and "only one plate policies" are going to make him thin. I've tried both and you know what? 20 minutes later he's back in the kitchen making himself not one, but 2 pb&j sanwiches and/or eating a whole gigantic (family size) bag of chips. NOT. MY. FAULT.
6. Your son is an adult. If he wants to eat a 9 course meal all by himself, he will do it, and you & I be darned.
7. You have no say where we move to. If we want to move to Timbuktu, we'll darn well move to Timbuktu!
8. If we actually moved to Maryland, you're not going to see Child Rum ever again. If the 2 hour drive to our house is too much for you now, do you really think you'll be making the trek to another state!?!?!!!?
I'll probably be sending this in a letter to you. (But then again, you'd be able to pass it around to everyone in the family, adding fodder to what should be a personal fire and not a public one).
Frustrated,
Your Daughter-in-Law Rummy
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To my mother,
Were you serious about me wrestling my Mother-in-Law, putting her into a headlock, and making her see my reason?
Wonderingly,
Your Daughter Rummy
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Dear RP,
Thank you for the extra sleep!
Rummy
1. When I first I met my husband, your son, he was fat.
2. When I married my husband, your son, he was still fat.
3. Just because I'm more of a meat and potatoes gal (veggies are actually a figment of everyone's imagination), doesn't mean I've made him fat.
4. Just admit it: You have a fat son. He was fat under your watch, and he just hasn't lost weight under my watch.
5. No amount of "healthy meals" and "only one plate policies" are going to make him thin. I've tried both and you know what? 20 minutes later he's back in the kitchen making himself not one, but 2 pb&j sanwiches and/or eating a whole gigantic (family size) bag of chips. NOT. MY. FAULT.
6. Your son is an adult. If he wants to eat a 9 course meal all by himself, he will do it, and you & I be darned.
7. You have no say where we move to. If we want to move to Timbuktu, we'll darn well move to Timbuktu!
8. If we actually moved to Maryland, you're not going to see Child Rum ever again. If the 2 hour drive to our house is too much for you now, do you really think you'll be making the trek to another state!?!?!!!?
I'll probably be sending this in a letter to you. (But then again, you'd be able to pass it around to everyone in the family, adding fodder to what should be a personal fire and not a public one).
Frustrated,
Your Daughter-in-Law Rummy
-----------------------------------
To my mother,
Were you serious about me wrestling my Mother-in-Law, putting her into a headlock, and making her see my reason?
Wonderingly,
Your Daughter Rummy
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Dear RP,
Thank you for the extra sleep!
Rummy
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