Dear....

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Magpie,

Sorry to hear of the problems your mom and with her mom.

It's very hard.

Child Rum is smart and beautiful and she can make me really happy. She can turn a phrase and make you laugh. Like today, took her to the doctor's office as she was complaining about her ear (again - double ear infection, again). The doctor said he was going to get her medicine, and she looked him right in the eye and said, "No thank you." (Polite too! )

At 2.5 years of age, all Child Rum could say was "Momma', she lost the ability to say the few 2-word phrases she had picked up, and she'd tantrum alot because she couldn't get me to understand her.

It's been a time of trial and error.

But I wouldn't give her up for the world. She's mine. And when I snuggle with her at nap time or bed time, and she makes room for me so I can lie down next to her ... that's when I know somewhere in that brain of hers, she understands that I love her and she loves me (even though she can't say the words).

-- Rummy

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear Miller Park Security:

There's this guy in a Brewers jersey who keeps running onto the field, and I don't think he belongs there. He can be identified by the big number 37 on the back.

Regards,
Irv

[shankyknitter]

Dear Ex-

I'm going to say this as politely as I can. I am not going to sleep with you again. Ever. I've moved past you and the jackass way you left me. It isn't my fault the chick you were sleeping with behind my back while we were together can't see you anymore. To be honest I'm amazed her boyfriend didn't leave her when he found out she was cheating on him. Meh maybe never seeing you again was the compromise to save her own relationship. Ergo sucks to be you.

No this isn't because I've found another man. Its because you cheated on me for months and proceeded to tell me you wanted to break up by letting me find you in our bed with her. I'm being civil to you for the sake of our mutual friends, this does not mean I want to get back together, nor does it mean I'll ever sleep with you.

Stop asking.
-Shankyknitter.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Backside Beret .. er ... Mr. Rum .. Nope, backside beret,

When you were sick, I managed to do things in the house without your help.

I'm now coming down with what you have, and as a side bonus, my asthma is kicking into high gear and I'm puffing on my inhaler every. 4. hours. unlike normally where it's like a couple of days in between me using it.



I. am. sick. I do not want to help you with teaching Child Rum to ride her bike. I do not want to move at all. The only moving I want to do today is to move upstairs, move into bed, turn on my cpap machine and go back to sleep!

I'd wave my Fist o' Doom® at you, but I think it'd be wasted on you and besides, I don't have the energy.

A very sick,
Mrs. Rum

[trailerparkmedic]

Dear "drew",

You left the job I currently have because you didn't want it and because you're too senile to do the job. Please remember this when you start trying to do my job behind my back, fuck it up, and leave me to deal with the mess and the angry powerful person you've pissed off. I did NOT enjoy the 20 minute phone call I had with Mr. "My lab has a million dollars of equipment so I'm extra important" today, especially since I had to be nice and not tell him that 1 million isn't that big a deal around here.

Also, please stop doing disgusting things like loudly licking your plate clean, licking the (shared) desk if some of your food falls on it or sucking on the top of the (previously) communal ketchup bottle in the fridge. It would also be nice if you used some of your Medicare to buy a hearing aid instead of yelling so loud I worry about my hearing. I also think the whole office would prefer it if you kept your political opinions to yourself instead of shouting really racist, bigoted things at the TV.

--The Person Who Took The Job You Said You Didn't Want

[RetailWorkhorse]

A Letter to the City in which I currently park.

Dear Corpus Christi,

I like you. I do, I really do. But you just aren't helping me to, you know, live here.

I'm making less money in a city of 177,000+ people than I did in a COUNTY of just over 8,000. If someone had told me last Summer I needed to stay away from the Bigger Cities because they wouldn't support me I would have laugh myself dead.

I LIKE living by the sea. Granted, my hair looks like a roan version of Roxas' (DAMN HUMIDITY!), and the salt in the air makes me suck down food like the world is ending, but it's nice and hot and I love the smell of the salt in the air.

I can't live here. No one wants to hire me for my TN phone number. No one wants to talk to me, whether for my TN twang-filled southern drawl or because I am unable to speak Spanish, I know not as to why. I finally, finally, get people in the RV Park to at least acknowledge me when I'm walking by (one guy likes my artwork) after SIX MONTHS, and I have to move for the Summer.

I know one person , ONE PERSON, here in Corpus that actually seeks me out to talk to me and he's a 12-year-old kid. I'm almost 24, dammit.

I get it, I need to leave and go back to Hospitality Way. The busted tires before I even left city limits last Winter was a sign and I should have fought harder to make my Keepers see it. But I wanted out and I wanted to be on the beach.

You wanna know where I was PLANNING on being right now? I was planning on being right here in this campsite, with a German Shepherd pup by my lap, watching cartoons and working stock-crew at a liquor store or working in the drugstore on the Island. Full-time and tucking back money for both my emergency fund and my medical fund. I was supposed to be off my gingko and happy. I HAD PLANS TO BE HAPPY, CORPUS CHRISTI.

What am I doing wrong, huh? Can you answer me that?? Every time I ask someone else they tell me the same thing; get a tan, dye my hair black, and say "si, senor".

Sure, they say it in jest but why does it feel like they actually mean it?

I ran to you to get away from the Snow. Now I'm running FROM you in order to survive. My gods, Corpus, it's like I'm reliving a relationship that I had before, with the exception that instead of a person, I'm running from a goddamned CITY. Do you have any idea just how messed up that is?! It's bloody well messed up!

What do I have to do in order not to starve to death, huh?! If it gets too much worse then you know what I have to do? I have to go back to my Grandsire's. I was suicidal back "home". I don't want to be that way again.

I want my skies to be blue and the waters clear and to be happy and laughing and loved by a fur-child. I want to work and at the end of the day be able to smile and say "I had a good day" with a great big grin. Dammit, I want money in the bank and my artwork to be selling at a Farmer's Market.

Corpus Christi, I do love you. But you and I just weren't meant to be. If you know any way, any way at all, that I can still survive I'd certainly appreciate a sign. And make it REALLY obvious because I'm a true moron.

Once Was Yours But Nevermore,
Das Mel
Ar-Dubya

PS: Anyone seen my MP3 player? I can't find the stupid thing and I wanna listen to SMILE by Vitamin C without being attached to YouTube. -RW

[RootedPhoenix]

Mr. Rum,

*glare* There are loads of things I could say to you. Be glad I'm not.

--RP

Rummy,

*gentle hugs* I'm sorry. *makes chicken soup*

Wish I could actually do something more. Being that sick is awful.

--RP

[shankyknitter]

Dear Crow,

Please stop being so awesome. For all that you are a kick ass friend who I don't want to lose I may have to kick you if the awesomeness continues. Why you ask? dumb boy. It is because I'm interested and you are not. you consider me a sister, which is fine I can accept that role. But telling me that watching me dance provokes unbrother-like thoughts in your head and proceeding tell me that I'm hot and asking why I'm still single? That does not help at all. Just saying. I've been trying to be not single, but again, every boy I've set my eye on since I've been single isn't interested in me. Hell the only one who is would be my ex who only wants me because he knows no one else would sleep with him. So cut it out with the awesome and calling me hot would you?

-Shankyknitter

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear RP,

Thank you! I'm feeling a little more human now. But Child Rum still has an ear infection.

Right now, it's Mr. Rum's middle brother that is going to be feeling my wrath if he calls the house.


Rummy
------------------------------------
Dear Shankyknitter,

Been there. Done that. Got rid of the t-shirt though.

Smeck in the head?

I don't know what advice to give you.

But if you need someone to vent to, I'm here!

Rummy

[shankyknitter]

Dear Rum-

Thank you for the sympathy, I appreciate it. Poor Child Rum! I had ear infections a lot when I was little and I understand where she's coming from. May I suggest a hot washcloth over the ear that hurts and have her lay down so the cloth is between her head and the pillow? Helps a ton if you haven't done so already. If you have then ignore that last bit and just give Child Rum a hug for me?

-Shankyknitter

[the_std]

Dear Now-Ex Boy,

For being the strongest person I've ever met, you're the biggest coward. I hope you realize how much you've fucked things up, how I was the best thing that has ever happened to you, will ever happen to you... I was the best thing you ever had, and you threw me away from fear. I thought you would be my knight, I thought we could grow together, but you ended everything before even a year had passed because you are scared of what might happen.

You're a sorry, sorry piece of human, and I say that with all the vitriol stored up in this little body of mine.

May you never howl with your pack again.

[Plaidman]

Dear Life:
yeah. I get that I'm your laughing stock. I've done my best in alot of fields, and failed in alot. Writing books I failed. Defending myself I failed. Attempting to excersise I failed. Hell I can't even type even a fraction as well as I use to.

I'm thankful for the fact you decided to finally grace me with friends, be it real and/or internet. I'm glad that its no longer toys. I'm happy you brought a cat in my life that loves me and meows at the very sight, even if she wakes me prompty at 5 am to feed her.

I'm unhappy with the hip, because, hey, pain and no work, means no money.

But seriously. I'm craving some kind of affection. I need something. A real hug. I'm getting tons of virtual lately. But... jebus man, my own mom gets freaked out if I even try to hug her as it's just wierd to her. I admit last hug I got was a sneak hug, and I kinda froze.

But just a real hug. A real touch. Please. I don't need sex or anything, just a real geniue affection of a hug and a touch.

I know even a light kiss is way out of my league and we all know your great prank of my last kiss was just fucking hilarious to you.

I've starved 24 years for a brief period of affection. I'm 25. Just.

JUST GIMME SOME KIND OF FUCKING LOVE ALREADY! STOP HAVING PEOPLE DISGUESTED BY MY LOOKS!

Just treat me like a real person for once in my goddamn misery life of weakness and loserhood. Seriously. Everyone else can get hugs. I can't even get it from my own mom, let alone friends. Internet is fine for you though, so I guess I'm stuck with that. Not that I mind. It... something.

But I still need that bit of feeling like I matter to someone. Seriously. Just... give me something finally. Even for a day. A.I had his mom for one day. Can't I get a hug for a day?

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear the_std;

Trust me when I say that I know all too well what you're going through. There's nothing worse in this world, in my opinion, than finding The One and then having them throw away what the 2 of you had like that. It sucks worse than anything that has ever sucked before.

I hope things get better for you soon, but in the meantime...



--Jack

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear whomever brought in the Maxim magazines for me to read in the breakroom:

I you forever.

Irv.

[shankyknitter]

Dear education adviser-

for the record telling a college student they can't pass a given course unless they buy this random $100 program and submit an evaluation in it by the end of the day is not a good thing. Nor is acting confused when informed that afore mentioned student can not afford said craptastic program on such short notice. Also when told the student's professor told the student they wouldn't need it don't get pissed at the student, it isn't their fault that you and prof. are saying two different things. No amount of threatening to fail me is going to make me able to spin cash out of my alpaca in order for me to afford the damn program.

yours in hatred
Shankyknitter.