Dear....

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear Pizza Hut;

My one-time love of your company died years ago, but now that you've added bad customer service to the mix? Yeah, I totally hate you now.

Taking my business elsewhere from now on,

Jack

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Dad,

Stop breathing in my ear. Stop NOMing my ear. The fuzz on my leg/arm/head is not there for your pulling pleasure. I am not the cat, I don't have whiskers you can snip off with scissors.

DAMN you must be really bored. Go pick on EQ and leave the Puppy alone.

It must be rough being a stay-at-home-Dad.

-Your little Psycho
PS: Thanks for finding my MP3 player. <3

Dear Messed Up School in California,

....DUDES. Y'all are messed up.

-RW

Dear South Park Creators,

Are you rolling on the floor laughing your heads off yet? Because I sure am.

Need to pick up more Seasons of South Park,
RW
PS: Thanks for the thing about Cartman. I hope he enjoyed his chili.

Dear Tommy Lee Jones,

MIB3? HELL YES.

-Rabid Jones Fan #1308
Das Mel

ETA:
Dear Fox News,
I have fanart of Shep and Neil. Where would I send it so they can see it?
-RW

Dear Fox News (again),

........what's up with all the bomb threats today?!

Gettin' s'keered,
RW

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear life,

Great hairy wombats...! I certainly have a lot of beads...

--RP

[Plaidman]

Dear Self:

You are smart. You have been doing dumb bell excersises, and doing better.

You've gotten straight A's. You've gotten girls numbers at school. You've gone on dates, even though your broke and going into worst debt, and they tend to agree to just be friends. They're at least honest enough to admit your just not physically attractived enough for them.

Maybe one day you'll get someone who can see past your ugly. Not anytime soon, but hey, your still doing far better then you ever have before.

Just, try. Keep trying. You be a winner sometime soon. Well, not soon, but eventally.

Yeah, I know the hip hurts. Your ether hurting emontionally or physically, (sometimes both), but that's for pain killers are for. It dulls the pain physically. I don't know the drug for emontional pain, but hey, pharmacy will teach you that. Then you'll finally be something in life, rather then the pissant the world wants you to be.

[fireheart]

Dear mother,

Please get some help. Seriously. Not just for me, but for yourself. Because of you, I am walking around on eggshells. It's getting the point where I want to leave home, but I can't because I have no place to go except for somewhere that's going to make life very inconveinient. And then you'll only blame me for it when I haven't even said a word. In reality, it's you. You'll come home, pissed off, then you'll take it out on whoever's in a hundred-metre radius. . Heh, funnily enough, you once tried to get anger management therapy for me.
If you want me to start talking to you directly, instead of a third party, then get help for yourself. Seriously.

Dear university,

I know I have a plan for my depression...do you take family issues as a reasonable trigger?

Dear life,

Guess who's gonna be stuck applying for rent assistance and youth allowance soon enough?

[Evil Queen]

Dear World,

Better coworkers. Now.

No love,
The Evil Queen


Dear Roomates,
Guys, it's 7am and the swamp cooler is on for WHAT reason?? Whoever is the last to go to bed; please turn off the system. It gets very cold in that house at night and we don't need to have it running.

Again,
The Evil Overlord.


Dear Datajager,
I know you don't come on the forum anymore but I still appreciate everything you do for me.

Smoochies,
Your plunder bunny.


Dear Forumites,
Cookies for getting the plunder bunny reference!

Possibly a pirate-newbie,
EQ

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear Rob Costlow,

Keep being awesome.

--Random human

Dear Plaid,

*hugs and chocolate*

--RP

Dear self,

Stoooooop iiiiit. I want to eat/move/exist without feeling icky.

--RP

[Magpie]

Dear campus geese:

Stop randomly threatening the air. The next goose I see walking around an empty space with its head down will damn well have a REASON to be aggressive to humans.

I may only be a Magpie, but I'm still bigger than you.

[shankyknitter]

Dear 2010,

I'd like very much for you to cease kicking me in the metaphorical testicles. Thus far this year I have been: cheated on, broken up with, used as a fuck bunny and rejected three times. I have become the token single girl among my friends and therefore don't see any of them without their respective SOs which is awkward. I have lost my job, therefore my income and independence from my family, I'm being forced to move cross state again to go back home with my tail between my legs after living on my own for over a year. My heart condition has flared up again when I don't have time or cash to get it properly treated thus forcing me to give up my hobbies that I love doing for fear of having an attack in armor. This is starting to get ridiculous and I don't think refusing to go outside until 2011 is a viable option for me.

you suck.
Shankyknitter.

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear shankyknitter;

Yeah, I'd definitely call that a lousy year so far. Sounds like you could use one of these...





--Jack

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear CSers,

*offers hugs to all*

--RP

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear motorcycle,

My radiator somehow started leaking fluid yesterday. This morning when I'm trying to get to work is the wrong time to decide to not work...

[trailerparkmedic]

Dear Nutrition "professor",

Just because you can change the dates on our online final without notifying us until 24 hours after it was supposed to start doesn't mean you should. Extra sleezy points when you defend yourself by saying that it doesn't matter since you gave us more time than we originally had.
Oh, and the assignment that we had due before spring break? I'd appreciate a grade on it.
Why do you act like all the students that professors on here rant about? And you have your doctorate????

--Annoyed student

Dear Netflix,

Thank you for having Doctor Who available for streaming. Don't mind the fiance pouting about me ignoring him ever since I started watching the show--he'll get over it.

--Hooked on Doctor Who

Dear everyone,

Hugs, chocolate, and bacon. Not all at once though, that would be icky.

--TPM

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear TPM,

Hugging chocolate bacon sounds like an American past time! Along with chugging down apple pie.

At least I'd participate in hugging the chocolate bacon.

Why yes, I am odd, why do you ask?
Rummy
----------------------------------
Dear Child Rum,

Mommy's computer likes to act up. You have to be patient. I know that's hard for you. But under no circumstances should me mouse be used as a missile! If your pitching arm were just a little bit better, we'd be less one window right now.

*sighs*
Rummy
--------------------------------------
Dear Self,

You need more sleep.

Stat!
Rummy

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear Kansas City Royals fans, assuming there are any:

My condolences on your managerial situation.

Irv