Dear....

[Plaidman]

Dear Life:

... Just give me a sign. I want to be a father. I want to matter in someone's life that isn't a family member or online. Someone close.


Yeah. I know. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything nice or right. Thank you life for not giving me anything.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Dear Court,

What more do you need? This postcard doesn't help much.

[trailerparkmedic]

Dear Work,

You don't need to call me to update me on broken stuff. This is extra true when I'm in the middle of class or it's the middle of the night. Something being fixed is not an emergency. Kthnxbai

[Food Lady]

Dear loud neighbors: your music is too loud, and I suspect you now know, thanks to my sudden penchant for singing Ella Fitzgerald, LOUDLY. Hope you enjoy the show; I can go all afternoon. ETA: I find that "Something's Gotta Give" is especially appropriate.

[BarbieGirl]

Dear DS2,

WHY?!? You aren't winning your argument for no naps, when you are super cranky and proceed to break the arm off the computer chair (granted it was on it's way out anyways but still) strip the screws on your convertible crib so that now it is a safety hazard and we HAVE to go buy a toddler bed. I know sea captains like the water but I'm pretty sure your toy doesn't like the fact that he is now STUCK IN THE TOILET and I can't get him out!!!! And you aren't even three yet! oi vey!

[iradney]

Dear loud neighbors: your music is too loud, and I suspect you now know, thanks to my sudden penchant for singing Ella Fitzgerald, LOUDLY. Hope you enjoy the show; I can go all afternoon. ETA: I find that "Something's Gotta Give" is especially appropriate.

I require recordings please - Ella Fitzgerald!!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Dear Boycat,

STOP TRYING TO CHEW ON MY COMPUTER CORD!!!!!!

,
me

[shankyknitter]

Dear woman who recently fucked over my ex-fiancee now boyfriend,

Even having never met you I hate you. This is not the normal new-gf v. old-gf deal. If it was I'd have to resent myself as he dated (and was engaged to) me before he even met you. No no this is legit thank you for making my life complicated without having met me. Really appreciate it. Its not just that you acted like a spiteful dead fish with my ex-fiancee/now boyfriend, no no that is but the beginning of my argument with you.

According to my aunt and uncle (best friend of ex/now boy) you treated him like shit when everyone was around and therefore I can only imagine how you treated him when you two were alone. Aside from the one thing he did tell me which lead to my dead fish comment. Apparently a mummified dead fish accurately describes your two attempts at intercourse over the course of a relationship that lasted a year and a half. But I digress. That was a cheap shot and I know it.

But the treating him like shit isn't even my real complaint with you. No my darling mummy-fish, my complaint is that you cheated on him. With my cousin. yup thank you for making family drama for me dear. Really appreciate it. I've come home to my uncle and my aunt hating my cousin for being a douche (can't argue really. He and my ex/boy were friends before you spread 'em for the wrong one) my cousin being oblivious and defensive and attempting to explain to me what happened in a light that doesn't make him look like a douche. My ex refusing to talk about it to anyone, but I know him well enough to know that he'd kill you if he could get away with it.

Thank you for making my summer difficult Mummy-Fish.

Sincerely,

She who got a second chance at the one who got away

[AnaKhouri]

Dear Friend:

I will never tell you this, but I hate your book. Reading it and giving feedback was kind of painful. It's not that you're a bad writer; you're very good and there were a few psychologically interesting parts. It's just that I loathe books where all the characters are stunningly beautiful and everyone is very witty and they say clever things to each other all the time. I know it will appeal to your target audience because they probably want to be just like your characters, but it doesn't grab me at all.

Good luck!

Ana

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear CS,

Conversation I had with Child Rum on the way home from Speech Camp:

Child Rum: I want to sit in the front seat!
Me: No! How old do you have to be to sit in the front seat?
Child: 25!
Me: Yes, and how old is Momma?
Child: 25!
Me: Yes, yes I am.


Rummy

[fireheart]

Dear Rummy,

Child Rum is very entertaining isn't she?

Love,
FH

Dear boyfriend,

I can't believe it's our 1 year soon!

Love,
FH

Dear body,

I'm aware that I'm on the Implanon. Can you PLEASE stop spotting? While it's a heck of a lot cheaper buying liners than it is buying a pack of pads every month, it's still a pain!

Love,
FH

[the_std]

Dear HC,

Thank you for existing. Lots of <3s.

Appreciatively,
Me

[Green_Fairy]

dear life in general:

~my mom has cancer
~my fiance is in iraq
~my cat died recently
~i'm in a less than stellar job with a moron for a boss
~most of my "friends" are people that i'm not overly fond of
~someone i wanted to get back in touch with died a couple of weeks ago
~fiance and co. are in an epic custody battle for The Kid

...what else ya got? cuz i'm still smiling, damn it! you may throw a bus at me and mine but goddamn it, that won't stop us! the sun is still shining and my dog is still adorable. sure, most days i don't want to get out of bed and some days i wake up crying, but that still won't get me down.

so...guess what, life? fuck you, mutha fucka! i own you, bitch!


~GF
-------------

dear The Boy,
i love you. i can't wait to marry you. i hope you're safe and i can't wait to hear from you again!
~PB

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Everyone,

I have a new laptop.

That is all,
Rummy

PS. Has anyone ever heard of the "Terrible 7s"? Child Rum seems to have contacted them when she turned 7 this passed July 8.

[shankyknitter]

Dear John + Girlfriend-who-I-don't-know (sorry)

I've never met either of you personally to the best of my knowledge, but please know that my heart goes out to both of you now. No parent should ever ever have to bury a child. I know that the little one was unexpected in the first place, born two months too early, had stopped developing a month before that, but that doesn't reduce the pain of loss. I am so sorry.

I can't do anything go help you now, though I wish I could. I'm taking my God-Daughter on the day of Little One's funeral so my aunt and uncle can go and try to support you both at least a little.

I'm sorry,
SK