Dear....

[Becks]

Dear roofers,

Either show up or call to say you're not.

I can't say I like having a dumpster and roofing supplies in my driveway for no reason.


Oh, and thanks for dropping the dumpster off in the middle of the night. I liked being woken up by that.

Grrrrrrrrrrr,

Becky

[draftermatt]

Dear Ladies of CS,

I always initiate dates with my wife. I'll even call her from pay phones pretending to be a man "you met at the store" etc. And today I sent her flowers.

It's not all men,
Me

Dear Work,

Why can't I concentrate on you today? I had 3 days off, tomorrow off for wife's graduation and I can't get into working on any of these new jobs. Mostly since they suck so greatly, but regardless.

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear Kaetchen,

Thank you for making me giggle at work by having nearly a full minute spaz out when I told you one of our favorite officers is coming back. It may not have been coherent but it was awesome. The fact that you are still low level bouncy/spazzing is only further amusing me. And I still think/hope he'll be on my shift sorry.

Bectar
p.s. thank you for encouraging me to have an awesome lunch.

[kaetchen]

Dear Kaetchen,

Thank you for making me giggle at work by having nearly a full minute spaz out when I told you one of our favorite officers is coming back. It may not have been coherent but it was awesome. The fact that you are still low level bouncy/spazzing is only further amusing me. And I still think/hope he'll be on my shift sorry.

Bectar
p.s. thank you for encouraging me to have an awesome lunch.

He will be on mine!! I am telling you!! *shakes fist of doom* *DOOOOOOM*

...*shake shake*... *shake*.... doom.


There is no one fav, he IS teh fav. ^_^

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear Kaetchen,

If I don't tell B that he's my favorite, he will tow my car.....

Bectar

[kaetchen]

Dear Kaetchen,

If I don't tell B that he's my favorite, he will tow my car.....

Bectar

Tell him that he should pay for it if he does.

Since it's our fault we made him eat Mexican.

[friendofjimmyk]

Dear you,

Yes you! Go on!! Get on with it!

Thank you.

FOJK

[MystyGlyttyr]

Dear Idiots in Room,

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GAS.

Yes, the price is higher than it used to be, yes, it's rather fucking hard when the price goes up and your paycheck stays the same, but listening to you WHINE about putting $60 in your tank when you live a five-minute walk away from work or a $1.25 bus ride or whatever, while I HAVE to experience a 30-minute DRIVE, BOTH WAYS, EVERYDAY, is about to make me lose my everloving mind. Either quit driving so much, firebomb OPEC, or just SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

Pissed off as usual,
Mysty

P.S. And I mean idiots in the room with me at the moment, not anyone here.

[friendofjimmyk]

when you live a five-minute walk away from work or a $1.25 bus ride or whatever.

OOO....that would chap my ass too. I live 4 miles from where I work and there are no buses but there are sidewalks so I am purchasing a bicycle because what's 4 miles on a bike? Save on gas not to mention great exercise!

[Becks]

Dear roofers,

I do not thank you for starting before 7:30 am this morning.

However, I do thank you for doing the whole roof (as far as I can tell) by 8 pm.

Thanks, too, for not leering at me all day.

--The lady of the house

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Man of the household,

Thanks for taking me bowling. I had fun. We should do it again some time.

Love,

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear roofers (again),

Please wait to return tomorrow for the power washing until AFTER I take a shower.

I don't want to go to work smelly.

Thanks in advance.

--The lady of the house

[blas]

Dear Penske truck,

I LOVE YOU! I have never been so happy to see a moving truck in my life! You are here to help get rid of Tommy Lee! OH THANK GOD!

*Happy dance, booty shake*

Dear Tommy,

FUCK YOU and GOODBYE! It will be so nice to not have to live in an area surrounded in cigarette butts, empty beer cans and Dairy Queen spoons! It will be so nice for everyone to have their parking spots back! No more of your little drug dealing buddies and prostitutes and random sluts parking in our spots! WOOOT! NO MORE OF YOUR SHITTY ATTEMPTS AT PLAYING GUITAR!

OH THANK HEAVEN!

Dear Sheriff:

One more time and I am calling the cops. I swear to gosh. I walk outside, light up, you peek out the window and within 3 seconds you're outside hunting me down. You see someone in the building next to mine on the very end, probably over 100 feet away come outside, and you SPRINT like a racehorse to go over and bother them. I hear a door slam. They hid from you, too. I'm on the phone. You come running back hollering at me, trying to get me to talk to you. I ignore you. I am looking at the ground ignoring you. I can hear your cowboy boots. You are pacing in circles trying to get my attention and you pace there for a good three minutes before you realize I'm not going to talk to you, so you sprint back inside and peep me from the window AGAIN!

Next time I WILL call the cops. And I WILL get that deer shining light and the next time you peep me, you'll be blinded.

Blas

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Fave Ex--

Why would you think I had dropped my car off? You know I wouldn't drop it off overnight, I wouldn't drop it off without telling you, AND I wouldn't drop it off without seeing you.

I'm slightly worried about you, sweetie.

--Hon


************************************************** *************

Dear JG--

Why would I miss you? Remember the argument we had? Why would/should I care that you just got out of jail?

Things haven't changed.

--Me

************************************************** **************

Dear Physco Stalker(s)--

You are old enough to be my father. I'm sure you are a nice guy, and thanks (sort of) for the compliments.

I have no interest now, nor will I in the future, in dating you.

Please leave me alone. You frighten me.


--Me

************************************************** ***********

Dear sore throat--

Granted, I prefer you to the hacking cough/phlegm, but I still don't like you.

Please go away.

--Me

************************************************** ************

Dear hacking cough/phlegm--

Please go away. I dislike you more then the sore throat.

Go make someone else miserable.

--Me

[AnaKhouri]

Dear Literary Agents:

Please give me my big break already. But it's OK if you don't because I knew full well what I was getting into when I chose this career.

Ciao,

AK


Dear Editor at A Thousand Faces:

I seriously needed a spark of good news concerning my writing career, and you gave it to me. Thanks!

Sincerely,

AK

[CaroPhoenix]

Dearest Daughter,

Why does the Jedi Mind Trick not work on you!? I want my coffee back, thank you!

Under caffeinated,
Your Mommy,
IDaR

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear Aunt,

I'm going to be up in the area mid June. I really hope we can finally talk. Things are fucked up enough as it is without this awkwardness between us. I don't hate you nor do I feel you've done anything wrong. I'm really hoping that goes both ways.

Not sure where things stand,
Me


Dear piece of shit,

Fuck you. It takes a lot for me to hold a grudge. Mom even thought I'd let up at least a little by now. I haven't, and I still don't want to see you. I really hate you for making mom cry and for making me choose between standing my ground and going to grandpa's farewell concert. You've used up your chances with me and lost all chance at saving face.

Me