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  • Quoth draftermatt View Post
    Dear Ladies of CS,

    I always initiate dates with my wife. I'll even call her from pay phones pretending to be a man "you met at the store" etc. And today I sent her flowers.

    It's not all men,
    Me
    Dear Draftermatt,

    Your wife is so lucky!
    But I don't know what I'm crying about. It's not like BF reads this [forum] so it's kinda not worth complaining about, huh?

    Thanks for treating your wife like she's special,
    -EQ
    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

    Comment


    • Dear tummy,

      Please feel better. I'd like to eat some actual food today.

      -EQ



      Dear Brain,

      Please kick the creative part of yourself in the lobe and give me some ideas! How cna I be a writer if I can't think of anything to write about?! And don't say work, I hate writing about work!

      -EQ


      Dear Mom,

      Why did I have to get this food allergy from you?! Dudette, I can't even SMELL the Bell Peppers without getting sick. I blame you!

      Your loving (GRRRR!) daughter,
      -EQ



      Dear BF,

      I feel yucky!

      -EQ
      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

      Comment


      • Dear Neon,

        Strike two, little boy. You don't want to know what's going to be your fate when you decide to fuck up a third time.

        Blas
        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

        Comment


        • Dear Sore Throat AND Hacking Cough--

          Thanks for leaving this afternoon. You should have told me you were leaving a present behind.

          --A still sickly me

          ************************************************** **************

          Dear Stuffy AND Runny Nose--

          Seriously? At the same time? This is going to make the 5th night in a row that I won't get much sleep.



          --Me
          I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

          Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

          Comment


          • Dear Brain,

            Please kick the creative part of yourself in the lobe and give me some ideas! How cna I be a writer if I can't think of anything to write about?! And don't say work, I hate writing about work!

            -EQ
            Dear EQ,

            Ya want a prompt?

            Your Acting Brain,
            RW
            Now a member of that alien race called Management.

            Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

            Comment


            • Dear back, feet, legs and body parts I forgot existed,

              Please stop hurting. Please.

              I like being able to move, and I don't have a day off until next Wednesday. I think. I won't know until I see my schedule tomorrow.

              Hopefully,

              Becky
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

              Comment


              • Dear Moronic Bundesliga (German League) Fanboy,

                You are too fucking funny. No seriously. Joe Cole lacks vision? That's too funny. Or my personal favorite, Ribery is France's best player. Nope. It's Trezeguet, any man who can score 20 goals in the ultra defensive Italian league is important to France. On that note:

                Dear Raymond Domenech,

                What the hell are you thinking leaving Trezeguet out? If we crash out early I'm blaming you. Also, Boumsong?!

                Dear dog,

                You're getting older, but you're still awesome.
                The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

                Comment


                • Dear Dispatch,

                  You made me blush...

                  Mono
                  My sanity has been dripping out of me my whole life, today they turned on the faucet.....

                  Comment


                  • Dear Mono-

                    You're welcome!

                    -Dispatch
                    "Ride the spiral to the end, it may just go where no one's been. Spiral out, keep going..." -Lateralus

                    Comment


                    • Dear nose,

                      Please stop dripping and making me sneeze! I'm getting tired of it.

                      Not happy,
                      IDaR

                      --------------------------------------------
                      Dear Child,

                      Why do I have to be the one with the Pokemon birthday theme??? I want Finding Nemo or bowling or something!

                      Your loving mommy,
                      IDaR

                      Comment


                      • Quoth friendofjimmyk View Post
                        OOO....that would chap my ass too. I live 4 miles from where I work and there are no buses but there are sidewalks so I am purchasing a bicycle because what's 4 miles on a bike? Save on gas not to mention great exercise!
                        I would so do that too if I didn't live 15 miles from work (also a 1/2 hour drive, Mysty); never mind the fact that I would probably get run over by an 18-wheeler and New Jersey gets rather humid in the summer. And I do not do well with humidity.

                        --------------

                        Dear right shoulder,

                        Thank you for not spasming on me the last few days. Still sore but you're getting there! Keep it up!!!

                        Love,
                        Me

                        --------------

                        Dear Teeth,

                        Please don't have any cavities at the dentist tomorrow.

                        Fingers-crossedly,
                        Me
                        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                        Comment


                        • Dear weather gods,

                          THANK YOU for sparing us from the Evil Storm Front of DOOM. I shall try not to bitch (too much) about the humidity you have left us with in return.

                          Sincerely, a storm-phobic Me
                          ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

                          Comment


                          • Dear Van,

                            WTF???, I mean really, c'mon.

                            (who the hell designed that system anyhow...?)

                            Yours, annoyed

                            Crazylegs
                            A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                            Comment


                            • Dear God/dess of Weather,

                              Thank you for not making this day royally suck. As soon as I remember what the flying fig your name is I'll send a nice goat your way (you like pets, right?) .

                              With love and adoration,
                              RW
                              Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                              Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

                              Comment


                              • Dear rich bitch from hell,

                                Thanks a lot for nearly knocking me off my motorbike the other day as you barged past me on a corner in your husband's car. It may come as a surprise to you, but most sane drivers slow down to take a corner. If you'd waited, I would have sped up; then again, that still may not have been enough for your over liposuctioned arse. I sincerely hope that karma bites you in the arse by having your husband run off with a girl young enough to be his daughter, and you end up getting nothing from the divorce whatsoever, meaning you have to catch the bus rather than drive round in your husband's penismobile.

                                With hatred and wishes of revenge,

                                The girl on the motorbike.
                                People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                                My DeviantArt.

                                Comment

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