Dear....

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear J,

You send me these sweet texts telling me I'm awesome or the best friend you've ever had or telling me how much something meant. The always make me smile and make me feel like everything will turn out just fine. But why do they always come between 1 and 4 am when I'm sleeping? Not comlaining, just amused and wondering.

Bectar
p.s. Thank you for everything.

[draftermatt]

Dear Tweeter,

Thank-you for showing up when you said you would. After Sears decided they didn't want to install my TV (which is a long story I'm sure no one wants to hear). I returned it and came to you.

Oh how good a decision that was. You mentioned things I never thought of. You kept me interested enough to not bother shopping around. You rock, and I hope that guy gets commission because I bought a lot.

And you said you'd come between 9 and 10, and you came at 10 (my wife would have preferred closer to 9 since she has to pick up her sister and nephew).

You're even installing the shelf I bought for our DirecTV box! I didn't want to till after you left so that it wouldn't be in your way.

Seriously, you guys have won all my electronic related business for the rest of my life. And there will be a lot more. 54"+ for the living room, and the basement eventually.

Dear Work Ethic,

It's the day before a holiday and I'm working on stuff?! Not putting it off till Monday? Where did this come from?

[iradney]

Dear Hayfever

You used to be seasonal. Now you're not. Stop it and bugger off! If my eyes itch anymore, I'll remove my eyeballs and use my nailfile on them!!!

Itchily yours
rads

[GingerBiscuit]

Dear school bullies. You probably thought you broke me. But look now- I'm still me, and I'm doing well, and I'm going to be earning well in a good job. Where are you?

Dear Julia:

I still miss you. It's been nearly a decade and still my heart hurts. Thankyou for making me strong, making me feel loved and helping me be unique. Thankyou (not sarcastically) for dying and showing me what real heartbreak was, so losing B didn't kill me. Thankyou for being you.

But couldn't you have told me that you were dying? I might have gone off the rails slightly less.

Love, for always, Ginger.

[Gawdzillers]

Dear Jenna Fischer:

I love you. Marry me!

-------------

Dear Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer:

Stop it. Your movies suck ass through a crazy straw.

--------------

Dear guy who makes acoustic Sublime covers on YouTube:

You are Bradley Nowell reincarnated. Keep it up.

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

Lá Breithe Sona dhuit.
Lá Breithe Sona dhuit.
Lá Breithe Sona. a homechicken.
Lá Breithe Sona dhuit.




************************************************** **************

Dear Becks again--

Is it official?!?!?!?!

--Me

************************************************** **************

Dear Jason at Verizon--

I love you! I was just teasing about making a fuss about my birthday to get a better deal.

I LOVE the phone!

Thanks for everything!

--Me

************************************************** **************

Dear Mommy Sunshine--

Happy giving birth to us day!

--Me

[Becks]

Dear Lizziebeff,

It won't be official until I send the check and/or actually get the address.

BTW, did you tell Monica?

Love,

Becks

PS--Thanks for the snazzy gifts!!!!!!!

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

Send the check already before Mom does it for you. :Þ

And yes I did...was that wrong?

--Perplexed Me

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Mom,

Thank you so much for informing me of the following tidbits:

I do not like Blue Cheese. (This after I told you that I tried some blue cheese at the Wegman's grand opening and I quite enjoyed it and was thinking about buying some to put on some crackers).

My daughter is not in fact autistic, but the RSV she had when she was 6 months old is the real cause for her to be socially inept and prone to screaming fits. (Please Mom, the doctors and her teachers agree the diagnosis is the correct one AND she fits the profile - STOP IT).

Getting an ulcer because of your "revelations" (and I'm sure more are to come),
Your Daughter,
IDaR

[Becks]

Dear Lizziebeff,

I can't send the check if I don't know who to make it out to and where to send it.

And it's OK. I'm just amazed how quickly the news is spreading between family on one hand and at work on the other.

--Becks

[draftermatt]

Dear 7-11 on my way to work,

Last week I had a hankering for a Rockstar Energy Drink, so I stopped at your store. You were out of the regular cans so I bought a Red Bull instead.

This morning I needed go go juice, and you were the cheapest ($3.96 ah!) so I stopped, and again went inside for caffeine goodness. Again you didn't have the regular cans, so this time I bought one of the "triple" cans with the funky top.

Dear god why?! I drank it slowly, and it's been 3 hours and I'm still twitchy. My left eye keeps blinking, and I can't type.

Wow.

Dear Me,

Remember a year ago when you swore off energy drinks when that Monster gave you chest pain? Remember how you stayed away for a good while, then decided Red Bull would be ok? Remember how you switched to Rockstar because it tastes better? Remember how you're an idiot for getting rehooked on this shit?

[crazylegs]

Dear Father.

You see that stuff on the windscreen as you drive along? Thats called 'water' and it falls as 'rain'. Instead of wearing out your finger pinging the single wipe every now and again PUT THE BLOODY WIPERS ON (and while we're about it some lights would be good too).

Yours, as always

Crazylegs

[erasily_ani]

Dear KP,

I miss you, love you and will never stop doing either. I hope you're happy with your new girlfriend. I know I'm happy with my boyfriend.

But it doesn't mean that I won't always love you.

Love (even though I'll probably never talk to you again),
YP


Dear Momma,

Thank you for raising me the way you did and teaching me that I didn't have to be what everyone else wanted. I'm much better off that way. Also, thanks for reminding me that it's okay it not everyone likes me.

Love,
your daughter


Dear kitty,

I love you and I'm glad we brought you home. However, must you choose 4 am as the time you just HAVE to play? We have to get up early and are trying to sleep :yawn:

Love,
your mommy and daddy


Dear B&D,

If we're moving in with you, please stop fighting. Thanks.

Love,
your soon-to-be roommate


Dear MP,

You're a lying, cheating b*stard. You're a crook. You're a complete jerk and you drive away all your employees. You will get caught at some point and this will bite you in the butt. Just so you know.

EAM


Dear PME,

You know, not everything in the world is about you. Not everyone in the world likes you. In fact, I can name a number of people you call “friend” that can't stand your guts.

Not everything that happens is in some way related to you. Not everything that happens is in some way a sign of whatever your judgement of the situation is. You are a self absorbed, psycho a**hole and people, in general, don't tend to like you.

There's a reason you aren't getting laid and a reason you can't keep a girlfriend. They see through your bullshit real quick. Just because someone doesn't like you does not mean they are a jerk, an a**hole, a crook, a b*tch, a slut, a whore, or any of the other names you love to attach to people so much. People, in general, don't like to be stalked and, typically, when someone says to “leave them alone” it means, you know, stop calling, texting, talking to them or trying to get information on them in anyway.

Please go find a nice corner and die. Thanks. We'd really appreciate it.

GMW

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Daughter,

Today is your birthday! (July 8). Happy Birthday to you! You're 5 years old and beautiful.

Wearing your party hat to playdate was cute And they all sang Happy Birthday to you afterwards.

I love you honey,
Your Mommy,
IDaR

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Fave Ex® --

I wish I could help you.

I wish you would come back home.

I wish we could.

--Me