Dear....

[Misanthropical]

Dear little guy's teacher,

Stop ignoring my emails! I need that paperwork filled out for the little guy, so he can get the proper help for his ADD. Don't make me have to come down there!


Dear two idiots in different cars,

Did you morons not notice us in the other lane? You both almost hit us because you were playing who has the bigger dick with each other.

I would have been seriously pissed off if either of you idiots had hit us, which you both almost did. Trust me, it wouldn't have been pretty!


Dear husband,

Good job in avoiding those two idiots. If you didn't swerve in time, we would have been toast.


Dear morons,

I would appreciate it if you all would stop trying to push me out of the way or cut me off when I'm walking.

I'm going to start sweeping people off their feet with the cane, if they keep annoying me.

[crazylegs]

Dear Mis,

Please see the slightly edited letter, it's probably a little closer to the truth...

Yours

Crazylegs

Dear two idiots in different cars,

Did you morons not notice us in the other lane? You both almost hit us because you were playing who has the smaller dick with each other.

I would have been seriously pissed off if either of you idiots had hit us, which you both almost did. Trust me, it wouldn't have been pretty!

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear M,

Thank you for coming back to work. I can't trouble shoot your key machine for crap. Also, thank you for making me keys. Also, thank you for explaining some on the nonexistant doors in the library that I have keys to. You were missed.


Dear J,

Happy birthday!! I'm glad you were working last night so that my 12:01am phone call didn't wake you. Also, can we hurry the fuck up on putting that fence up? If we don't do it this week we may be shit out of luck. I want a puppy come next spring and to do so, Jenna needs to feel like it's her place first.


Dear Snow,

I hate you. I hate the cold. But maybe just maybe you could hurry up and get here soon anyway? I'm really really craving that snowmobile

[Misanthropical]

Dear Crazylegs,

You are correct, thank you! We just got the car fixed from the deer and I didn't want to have to have it fixed again.


Dear Idiot that locked his girlfriend out the car at the Wawa,

You deserved her walking off and leaving you there. She didn't look like she was in the mood for your shit.

We knew you wouldn't be getting any loving for awhile. Yes, we laughed at you as you pulled out and tried to figure out which way she went.


Dear children,

You guys have your own chocolate! Stay out of my chocolate stash or I will sell you all to the monkey house!

Smooches!


Dear husband,

That goes for you too!

[SengaKitty]

Dear Mis,

Can I have some chocolate? Pretty please?

<3

Dear brain,

Please shut off... It's been too long since I've had a decent, uninterrupted sleep... gah

Dear Lawyer in alabama,

I wonder if its even worth asking if you would take payments on the $2000 you want me to pay you to come argue my case.... I've heard courts don't appoint lawyers in custody hearing, and I really really would rather have a lawyer on my side than have to fight this alone. Though I have had many people tell me that I sound like a lawyer, I am not, and I would rather not fight this alone..

Dear SO's chef
You suck. You know how important this case is and you won't let him come with me?! Do you not realize how much better it would look for me if he showed up at the court with me, and showed his support, and his want to help me get custody? I really f*&$ing hate you!

[Misanthropical]

Dear RedHeadPhoneGirl,

Yes, but only because you are having a tough time right now.


Dear little guy and daughter,

If you two do not start getting along I will go crazy and I will take the two of you with me! Got it! Good!


Dear mother at the party last night,

You do not know my son as well as you think. I am his mother and I know him the best. I do know he is not perfect, but he didn't do anything that would require you to be a bitch. I do know that you think your daughter can walk on water, when in fact she can't behave for more than 2 seconds without you have to buy her something for it. So, stop trying to pass judgement.

Tell you what, you stop trying to judge my son and I will stop thinking you spend ungodly amounts of money to get your daughter to behave, when it actually teaches her that misbehaving will get things bought for her, mmkay?

[PhotoChick]

Dear new man,
I know I suck at this whole being a girlfriend thing. I'm working on it. Telling me that I suck isn't helping, it makes me feel like bad. I don't wanna feel bad.

Dear B,
I know you like manhandleing me. I don't mind it either. But can you give a girl some warning? Oh and you ended up giving me a wedgy, don't do it again.

[draftermatt]

Dear Wife,

I wasn't trying to hide anything when I said I was depressed on Myspace. That was how I felt this morning, just down in the dumps. You know how much I hate this job, and it doesn't do anyone any good when I complain. And all this stuff with my grandmother is starting to take a toll, even though I never thought it would.

I love you, and thinking of coming home to you is all that gets me through the day some days. You are still the best thing that's ever happened in my life, and the best thing in it.

[draftermatt]

Dear Engineering Company that I applied to last week,

I would love to work for you. Tis why I applied. If you could just send me an e-mail or call me it'd be great.

Even if it's to tell me you don't want me.

Your website still says you're hiring for the position I applied for, and I meet or exceed all your requirements.

I want out of this hell hole, please.

[crazylegs]

Dear A,

You're brilliant at your job, you care and that is more than can be said for an awful lot of people. Please, look after yourself.

Crazylegs.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Child Rum,

Please don't come down with a cold! I hate it when you are sick.

Lovingly,
Mommy

-------------------------------
Dear Tummy,

Stop rumbling! I had lots of pizza for dinner so I know I shouldn't be hungry no more!

Trying not to eat anything else,
Rum

[Evil Queen]

Dear Forumites,

I put brandy in my Rice Crispy treats I just made. Who wants to try some?

Feels like sharing,
-EQ

[Saydrah]

Dear EQ,

Bring them by the pervfest thread.

We're out of muffins.

-Sayds

[Evil Queen]

Dear Sayds,

On my way!

-EQ

[Kagato]

Dear ignorant driver:

Please do not flash your high-beam headlights at me and blind me while I am driving in my bus, (you) assuming I have my high-beams on when in fact my lights are DIPPED, 1. I am in a 7 tonne vehicle while you are in a 1 tonne vehicle, and 2. My headlights are vastly more powerful than yours. Either way you will LOSE.

No Love,
Me.

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Dear considerate passenger:

Thank you for taking the time to have a chat with me during one of the more boring periods of my shift, it is customers like you that make my job worthwhile, not to mention keeping my sanity intact.

Thanks

Me.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Miserable, Stranded passenger:

I gave you a lift free of charge because I am a good guy and wanted to do a good deed, and no one deserves to be stuck at a deserted bus stop on a horrid, rainy night. I did not expect anything in return, but it is appreciated at the thank-you note that you left at the depot for me the following day, kinda gives you the typical "warm fuzzy feeling" inside.

Many thanks

Me.

And lastly...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear special someone...

Know that you will always hold a special place in my heart, I may lose my cool from time to time with you, but I will NEVER stop loving you. I will most certainly admit that I am not a perfect guy, all I can do is do my best to try to improve myself and fix my personal flaws, and I simply hope we can repair the past damage between us when I can finally be with you *wishes that the big cheese would finally bestow a decent chunk of good luck on me and let me win the lottery*

Love always

Me.