Dear....

[Lady Legira]

Dear Cyst on my Ovary

Don't be what I think you might be. Please!

Me

Dear Council,

Get your act together and send the right person out before I have to go to work and get my heating fixed!

Kthksbai.

[GingerBiscuit]

Dear Bastards who abandoned a gorgeous little kitty in a strangers garden.

If I ever find you I will smash every bone in your hand with a hammer. We didn't check that shitty little box for two days. When we finally did, your cat was skinny and shaking and terrified.

I am sure will not care that he has a nice home where he is being fed and loved. I am sure you will not care that he was so hungry he ate a can of food and so starved for affection he wouldn't leave me alone for two hours.

Can you explain why you dumped that gorgeous little boy out there? Would getting him done have cost too much? Could you just not be arsed to find another home for him? You hadn't fed him for at least two days before you put him in that shitty little box (did you think that blanket would keep him warm?) and it showed.

Can you at least tell me what you called him? Not that me or my parents want to saddle him with that name forever, we're going to rename him, but it would be nice to know what to shout for him.

By the way, everyone I've said this to thinks you are EVIL.

Not Love- the girl whose garden you chucked that cat away in like it was a piece of trash.

[Becks]

"Dear" snow,

Be damned to you.

That is all.

[Misanthropical]

Dear idiot guy at work,

Your first words to a perfect stranger should not be to ask them what happened to cause them to use a cane. Have some class! MORON!!


Dear body,

We are going to see a new pain specialist on Friday, so could you hold off on the pain till he sees us? Please?


Dear pain specialist,

You should have those injections ready to go when I get there, even if it is the first time I have seen you. Trust me, it will be much easier on both of us that way.


Dear husband,

It is a very good thing you are taking next Sunday off, because if you had gone to work on my birthday I would be even more pissed off than I already am.

You better give the correct response if they try to call you in that day.


Dear BossMan,

I realize you will be back at work tomorrow, but from now on if you do have to leave on a trip, could you leave us with a supervisor who actually knows their head from their ass? kthxbi


Dear ghost in my house,

You better bring those pants back before I get really pissed off. I don't know where you are hiding them, but I'm getting sick of looking for them. Those belong to the little guy and I was going to lay them out for him, but they are gone!

Give them back and I won't have to yell at you. You know you don't like it when I have to yell at you.


Dear children,

I miss you guys so much when I'm at work! If I'm home and you are all doing your own thing, I'm still here with you. I hate being away from you all.


Dear friend,

I think the Dunkin Donuts place we stop at should know our order the minute we walk in. I mean we go in every day before work and our orders are always the same.

Oh, and yes, that guy is so hitting on you! I know you don't think he is, but that is what he is doing. His face lights up when he sees you. I know you don't think he is, but just spare the poor boy and mention your husband. If he still tries I will throw him out the drive thru window, okay?


Dear guy behind me in line at Wawa,

There is a new rage going on, it's called personal space! There is no reason for you to be that close to me for any reason. SO BACK THE FUCK OFF! I wanted to smack you in nads with my purse.

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

Today was fun. We'll have to do it again sometime.

Preferably when it is warmer. Or at least inside.

--Sunshine

*******************************************

Dear Mr. Becks--

Thanks for driving.

--me

*******************************************

Dear Toys--

Awesome show.

Cold but awesome.

--stalker in the front row

*******************************************

Dear Bar/Toys website--

Next time, for the love of Jamesons, MENTION that the concert will be outside in a tent.

I cannot believe that. 9 f'ing degrees.

Crabbily,

--me

************************************************

Dear slutty cows (and I use that term loosely)--

I'm all for having a good time, but when you decide to involve me in your personal mosh pit, you WILL get shoved. At least 3 people away from where you were originally standing. Keep in mind that I held out for over 2 hours at that point.

Thanks for getting the point and getting as far away from me as possible after that.

--The bitch who gave you a taste of your own medicine then ignored you.

************************************************** ******

Dear Rusty--

Thanks (?) for the hug (?).

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

--fan you know by sight but not by name

[iradney]

Dear Rads and RW,

Just No.
-Evil Queen.

Dear EQ

Granted, I haven't read the books. I'm too scared to now :P

Rads

Dear RW,

It seems the series you're wanting info on is Blood Ties, which old roommate J was obsessed with. I know first hand (nearly an entire season) that it sucks hardcore. Blech.

-EQ

Dear Rads,

I'm sorry. Please no hateing me?

-EQ

Dear EQ

Aaaah, ok, THOSE books I'll be reading then How could I ever hate you????
*squishies*
Rads

[Evil Queen]

Dear me,

Nice white button downshirt.
Nice black pants.
Nice black shoes.
Nice hair.
Nice make up.
Notebook for work notes.
Smile...
I think I'm ready for me first day of my new job. What do you think?

-EQ

[smileyeagle1021]

Dear EQ,
Remember, the button marked reservations is to be used for reservations only... I have friends who work at that call center still and they will ask me to hunt you down if you make that mistake

-former reservations slave

Dear snow,
Happen already... enough with this two or three flakes here or there, just dump on us and get it over with so we can start selling ski packages and I don't have to worry where my next paycheck is coming from.

-Me

eta-
Dear Snow,
you could have waited until after I got off the 215 to make conditions near white out...

thank you

[Lioness Blackfire]

Dear Tree People,

Well, it's been more than the "sometime in the next two weeks" you quoted! Where the heck are you? Get over here and fix my tree before it snows again, damnit!!

Crankily,
Lioness

---

Dear Celtic Music,

You are awesome! Thank you for being awesome.

Dancingly,
Lioness

[AdminAssistant]

Dear Migraine,

Okay, prospectus is turned in. You can go away now. Go. SHOO. And take your friend Nausea with you. The worst part of my semester is over and I'm ready to enjoy it, so go 'way.

Dear Body,

Okay, so, I know that you are not cool with running on 2 hours of sleep. This I know. I also know I dumped way too many differing OTC meds on you in too short of a period. I'm sorry. Apparently you're taking out your aggravation by preventing my much needed nap. Fine. I can manage for the rest of the day. But, please, please, for the love of all that is holy let me sleep tonight.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Local McDonald's Drive Thru,

When did "5 creamers, no sugar" mean "5 creamers AND 5 sugars"??? I couldn't drink my coffee when I got to my daughter's elementary school to do some volunteer work.

No love,
IDaR who really needed the caffeine

[Becks]

"Dear" snow (again),

I guess you missed the post I made above.

,

me

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear Person I Shall Not Name,

You have made December 8th unhappy. I'd like to get in a time machine, tie your infernal gun in a knot and cram it up your nose, thus preventing you from using it on SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DESERVE IT.

(I don't like violence. I don't like how this makes me feel. I'm just trying to vent before I explode or break down in tears in front of unsympathetic folks.)

You fail. Indescribably. The universe may not even be big enough to hold your fail. Go away. No one is impressed with you.

Grr.

--Me.

Dear John,

We miss you here.

--Me.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Fuzzy Dog In The Sky,

*Ah-COO!*

*Sniffles*

*Coughs*

If this is the cold, I'm hunting you down.

-Your (annoyed) Devoted.


Dear Pretzel,

Warm salty doughy goodness only outweighed by the Alan-ness. Oh gods yum.

-RW

[iradney]

Dear Fuzzy Dog In The Sky,

*Ah-COO!*

*Sniffles*

*Coughs*

If this is the cold, I'm hunting you down.

-Your (annoyed) Devoted.

Dear RW

*wraps in warm fleecy blanket and gives chicken soup and ginger tea*

Rads

Dear Boss

I can understand that you need me to try and finish the project that I am on before I go on leave next week.

HOWEVER. Please remember that that I need to create EIGHT chapters per *product*. For EACH chapter, I have to create a Manual, a Powerpoint presentation, an Exercise book, an Assessment and a Trainer's manual. Plus I need to capture the screenshots MYSELF and do the research MYSELF.
So in total, for each product, I need to create 40 seperate documents. FORTY. PER PRODUCT. I have completed TWO products so far. I am busy with the third. Last week it took me 3.5 days JUST to do a 103 page manual. Two days for a 38 page manual. IF you're lucky, I'll be done with the manuals for this particular product (Product C.1 if you will) before I go on leave.

However, I still need the equipment for Products B.1, B.2, A.1 and C.2. That is *Company*'s responsibility to get for me, and you and I have discussed what I need many, many, MANY times. It is simply not going to happen. I am good, but I am not that good. Even if I were to take work home with me, it will not happen. I would have to not sleep for it to happen, and I would have to have the missing products YESTERDAY.

Wondering what drugs you're on,
Rads