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  • #571
    Dear Frederick's of Hollywood™,

    Stop being so damn addictive.

    I've spent $115.16 in two days there.

    Two bras and 8 pairs of panties, tax and shipping.

    I would've spent more, but some of you stuff you have to offer does not come in my sizes.

    I am soooooooooooo not ordering from you again for a while, even though your stuff rocks so much more than VS.

    Cold turkey-ingly,

    Becky
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

    Comment

    • #572
      Dear clients,

      It is not funny when you continually knock on my door. A few taps is all that it takes for us to answer the door, not a continual stream of 20-30 taps that it takes me to answer the door.

      Also, the "shave and a hair cut" knock is getting old. Very old.
      Quote Dalesys:
      ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

      Comment

      • #573
        Dear Rummy --

        I don't know for certain that any of the neighbors have my cat, but since we haven't seen neither hide nor hair of her for 3 weeks, I'm betting that someone has her. She's very friendly (an attention whore), and would stay with anyone who pays her a bit of attention.

        Slightly depresssed,

        --Me

        ************************************************** **********

        Dear Becks part 1--

        Of course I forgive you.

        Although, I must say, you could have just taken and sent a pic with that lovely camera phone we sent you.

        It's all good.

        --Me

        ************************************************** *************

        Dear Becks part 2--

        Grams gave me (via Mom) a pair of dangly silver Celtic knots. They are gorgeous.

        If you want them, let me know. You rock the danglys better.

        --Me, again

        ************************************************** **************

        Dear Victoria's Secret--

        Stop sending me your crappy catalog. I will never buy anything from you, since you can't sell anything that fits me. That is why FoH gets all my money.

        Cease and desist.

        --Me

        ************************************************** **************

        Dear Becks part 3--

        I wholeheartedly agree about FoH being addictive.

        ::sigh::

        I love it!

        --Me
        I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

        Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

        Comment

        • #574
          Dear Lizziebeff,

          I wouldn't think of depriving you of the earrings Grandma gave you.


          But thanks for the compliment.

          Love,

          your favorite sister
          Unseen but seeing
          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
          3rd shift needs love, too
          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

          Comment

          • #575
            Dear Becky and Bella,

            Stop with the FoH already. It's not fair to mess with the resident geezer's fantasy life.

            OK, so who says life is fair? I won't even ask for pictures. Fantasy is bad enough, reality would probably give me an aneurysm.

            Comment

            • #576
              Dear head,

              Please stop working so hard. Please stop thinking for just a couple of minutes. I really don't need the constant bombardment of bad memories today and yet you've decided we're going to have an autie day and not be able to stop thinking about things. Fuck you too.

              Mysty
              "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

              Comment

              • #577
                Dear Guests,

                I hate you all. Go away. Except for the nice lady in room 110. You can stay.

                -EQ
                Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                Comment

                • #578
                  Dear Umingmaq,

                  Sorry.

                  Really.

                  Well, kinda.



                  --Becks
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                  Comment

                  • #579
                    Dear blas87,

                    "I'll rock your liederhosen!"?

                    Are you aware that you are saying "I'll rock your songpants!"?

                    Now if you want to rock my Lederhosen, you'll have to stand in line.

                    Comment

                    • #580
                      Oh I am quite aware the difference between liederhosen and lederhosen

                      by the way....

                      Dear Birds:

                      STOP SHITTING ON MY CAR! CAR WASHES DON'T JUST GROW ON TREES! You think you're funny? Wait till I drop trou right on your pretty little nest....

                      Ever yours,
                      blas87
                      You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                      Comment

                      • #581
                        Dear local pet store--

                        $300 for a kitten. Are you SERIOUS?!?!?!? Granted, it was adorable, but $300? And the others for $210+?

                        They were cute. Hell, I would have bought 3 or 4 if I could get around my lease, but my damn, you must have been joking.

                        Seriously depressed,

                        --Me

                        I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                        Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

                        Comment

                        • #582
                          Dear new glasses (to replace the new glasses I got last month),

                          You rock.

                          I'm glad I got you.

                          Carry on.

                          Becks
                          Unseen but seeing
                          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                          3rd shift needs love, too
                          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                          Comment

                          • #583
                            Dear J

                            Please text me soon letting me know you're ok. It's been almost an hour and I have no clue what's going on.

                            Me
                            PS I'm really proud of you, but every so often, I hate your job...
                            "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall

                            Comment

                            • #584
                              Dear Blas,

                              I hope for your car's sake those aren't mulberry trees...!

                              Me
                              ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

                              Comment

                              • #585
                                Quoth iradney View Post
                                Dear Draftermatt and Mrs Draftermatt

                                Woohoo! Well done! That's a big old feather in the Mrs's cap

                                rads
                                Dear Rads,

                                Thank-you, from both of us.

                                Comment

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