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Dear Ex Roommate:
You leaving me in the lurch with the townhouse made my life that much worse, particularly now that I'm getting called every three days or so to be reminded, hey, I have to pay the rest of our contract for that townhouse, since they can't seem to get hold of you to update you on how you owe half of that nearly $7,000 debt. As if my credit score wasn't suffering enough from moving in with you? In the words of Achmed, "I Keel you!"
Dear debt collection agency:
I've as much as told you that the MOST I could conceivably pay monthly toward my debt would be $50. I have NOT yet gotten my first paycheck. I had no way of actually setting up a budget, particularly for a job that my schedule is extremely short. Telling me that wouldn't even be possible to put into the computer will NOT get me to up my estimate. I was guessing on the generous side since I HAD no basis to compare it to. Jobs are short here in Texas. Asking if I'd asked my parents for help? Pissed me off to no end. I knew the answer to that question before you even suggested it. A hint, when I told you the answer would be 'No.' Don't push harder for me to ask anyway. It's a waste of my time and yours. The answer's NO, F*ckhead! Don't call me two days after I got your info, thinking I'll have a solution already to paying off my debt. TWO WEEKS, minimum, for me to get my first paycheck, so I could set up a budget of some sort, would've been proper. Also, leaving messages on the answering machine that I NEED to call back by 6 PM, when I've given you all the possible options I've come up with already? What do I need to call you for? I want no more abuse from you about how I HAVE to pay off this debt. Yes, I know. But, my situation isn't one where I have much of an option there. And your pushy tactics are pushing you down on my list of 'Debtors I Owe first'. I had two credit cards, and a student loan payment that have been ignored since I moved to Fort Worth, and I WAS expecting to have a job when I moved down, which got blocked AFTER I moved!
Dear parents:
You told me all my little young life that I could grow up however I wanted, and you'd love me. So, when I admitted my big three secrets, and you reacted with incredulity, you shoved a huge ass wedge between us. THAT is why I moved to Fort Worth. Rocky Horror being near was just a perk. Your reasons for not wanting me to express myself ring terribly hollow. Worried your co-workers will ask weird questions...? What the hell? Tell them to man up and ask me their questions to my face. You KNOW I'm not one to skirt around answering direct questions. I don't give a shit what people think of me, and you know that, too.
Dear Dad:
Calling my sexual preference a case of, "You don't know what you're doing" was extremely crass. And referring to the period of my life where I went Lacto Ova Vegetarian, and then claiming I wasn't vegetarian, because I ate things most vegetarians wouldn't? Such as? Milk? Eggs? I refer to the first part of that 'vegetarian' subgroup I was living, 'Lacto ova'. Milk AND eggs!
Dear Dolly Parton:
Keep up the wonderful music. It's the only country music I'll listen to, excepting one CD by the Dixie Chicks. Your music keeps the peace between the sister in law (who ONLY listens to country) and I.
You leaving me in the lurch with the townhouse made my life that much worse, particularly now that I'm getting called every three days or so to be reminded, hey, I have to pay the rest of our contract for that townhouse, since they can't seem to get hold of you to update you on how you owe half of that nearly $7,000 debt. As if my credit score wasn't suffering enough from moving in with you? In the words of Achmed, "I Keel you!"
Dear debt collection agency:
I've as much as told you that the MOST I could conceivably pay monthly toward my debt would be $50. I have NOT yet gotten my first paycheck. I had no way of actually setting up a budget, particularly for a job that my schedule is extremely short. Telling me that wouldn't even be possible to put into the computer will NOT get me to up my estimate. I was guessing on the generous side since I HAD no basis to compare it to. Jobs are short here in Texas. Asking if I'd asked my parents for help? Pissed me off to no end. I knew the answer to that question before you even suggested it. A hint, when I told you the answer would be 'No.' Don't push harder for me to ask anyway. It's a waste of my time and yours. The answer's NO, F*ckhead! Don't call me two days after I got your info, thinking I'll have a solution already to paying off my debt. TWO WEEKS, minimum, for me to get my first paycheck, so I could set up a budget of some sort, would've been proper. Also, leaving messages on the answering machine that I NEED to call back by 6 PM, when I've given you all the possible options I've come up with already? What do I need to call you for? I want no more abuse from you about how I HAVE to pay off this debt. Yes, I know. But, my situation isn't one where I have much of an option there. And your pushy tactics are pushing you down on my list of 'Debtors I Owe first'. I had two credit cards, and a student loan payment that have been ignored since I moved to Fort Worth, and I WAS expecting to have a job when I moved down, which got blocked AFTER I moved!
Dear parents:
You told me all my little young life that I could grow up however I wanted, and you'd love me. So, when I admitted my big three secrets, and you reacted with incredulity, you shoved a huge ass wedge between us. THAT is why I moved to Fort Worth. Rocky Horror being near was just a perk. Your reasons for not wanting me to express myself ring terribly hollow. Worried your co-workers will ask weird questions...? What the hell? Tell them to man up and ask me their questions to my face. You KNOW I'm not one to skirt around answering direct questions. I don't give a shit what people think of me, and you know that, too.
Dear Dad:
Calling my sexual preference a case of, "You don't know what you're doing" was extremely crass. And referring to the period of my life where I went Lacto Ova Vegetarian, and then claiming I wasn't vegetarian, because I ate things most vegetarians wouldn't? Such as? Milk? Eggs? I refer to the first part of that 'vegetarian' subgroup I was living, 'Lacto ova'. Milk AND eggs!
Dear Dolly Parton:
Keep up the wonderful music. It's the only country music I'll listen to, excepting one CD by the Dixie Chicks. Your music keeps the peace between the sister in law (who ONLY listens to country) and I.
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