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  • Dear Grandma,

    Why in the world did you save all that stuff?

    The saddest thing is we're finding junk from the 60's-70's which means it wasn't just you hoarding this stuff, but Grandpa too!

    After 1 day the dumpster is 1/3 full and that's only from the kitchen, den, living room, bedrooms! We still have the basement to go through! And it's packed with crap!

    Dear Future Brother in Law,

    I like you, we get along great, and I think of you as a friend. You have helped my sister and I have a better friendship/relationship, and for that I thank-you.

    That said, get yourself a job and sell the goddamn cars! Stop relying on my sister!

    I know the economy is bad, and that's why you lost your job, I can sympathize, and I understand. But you are living rent free in my grandmother's house, and now that she's in the Nursing home that's temporary. Could be months/years, who knows. But if she doesn't die, then we have to sell the house to pay for her care.

    Let's start with the cars. You drive the Dodge, bought it after the 88 Ford went kaput, but explain to me why the 88 Ford is still in my grandmother's garage. You haven't even put an ad up trying to sell it yet! I know it "doesn't cost me anything to sit" but when you have no money, it's time Jack.

    Same goes with the 79 Ford, and the Monte Carlo. They're sitting doing nothing, time for them to go!

    I understand you wish you hadn't sold the Mustang to my Dad, but you're the one who asked my sister to marry him, and you had to have known that was going to mean getting a house/apartment. So that means you have to sell the toys, and get rid of the debt.

    Hell I never had the toys, I wanted the house and got it at 19! Now I'm on my 2nd house and I'm 24!

    Look, I'm very protective of my sister, and I don't want to see her hurt. Since the wedding plans are still progressing I assume you still want to marry her. So please, work this stuff out on your own before I have to have a chat with you. I really don't want to do that.

    Comment


    • Dear rat,

      I don't know where you are now, except that you aren't here, I can only hope that wherever you are you're happy.
      I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

      Comment


      • Dear Blizzard,

        If I wanted to spend half my time trying to run away from a gang that will inevitably catch me and beat me up anyway, I'd go back to high school. Games are supposed to be fun.

        Comment


        • Dear Sleepy Stick,

          Stop whacking me!

          Ouchies!
          Rummy

          ----------------------------------------------
          Dear Back,

          Why did you have to twist really painfully and then seize up? At least the Aleve was nice to me.

          Cryng,
          Rummy

          ----------------------------------------------
          Dear Jimmy,

          You flatter me. I know you're only half-joking.

          And in response to your question: I don't think Mr. Rum would notice at all. (Though he might be wondering why I'm in a better mood more often).


          Rummy

          ------------------------------------------------------------
          Dear Mr. Rum,

          Thank you for 'letting' me take a nap this afternoon. Especially after I had to wrestle Child Rum into the bed to take a nap with me. Because you can't watch her while I'm out cold from the Aleve? And besides, even if you had 'vetoed' the whole I need a nap thing? It wouldn't have stuck because you know Aleve makes me tired.

          Again, I have aches and pains that you don't have. You've been heavier than me for a longer time than I have been heavier. I know I need to lose weight, but bear with me, okay? I'm finding new aches and pains everyday and I think it's from all this weight.

          Now, go away and do something useful and don't expect me to be at your beck and call because you don't know how to fold laundry.

          I wish your mother trained you better,
          Mrs. Rum
          Last edited by CaroPhoenix; 01-04-2009, 02:19 AM.

          Comment


          • Mr. Rum,


            --RP

            Dear body,

            AAUUUGGHHHH.

            At least there's some icky things you're not doing?

            --Me
            1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
            -----
            http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

            Comment


            • Dear RP,

              I couldn't have said it better than that.

              As for your body, I hope it straightens itself out soon! I'd hate to have to do this: to you.

              Rummy

              Comment


              • BoyThing,



                I came back up here so that we could spend some time together - so that I could see if this could really work. First you cancel last night and tonight? Yes, my eyes were red and itchy, a combo of the cat and the fact that you SMOKE. And sitting over in your chair sucking a cigarette instead of cuddling with me isn't helping either. When you suggested 'getting out of here', I thought you were suggesting a change of venue. Silly me, to think that you would actually want to hang out at my place. When you dropped me off, yes, I was pissed. I put a lot of work into making myself pretty - for YOU. I wear really uncomfortable underthings for YOU. And if YOU don't start putting some effort into this...I just don't know. I like you, I do, but sometimes it feels like you don't give two shits about me. And that....apathy....hurts far more than anything else.

                And I do understand that you're tired because you've been working a lot. But I was feeling damn sexy and you're too exhausted? Seriously? I just can't do this much longer. And the thing that kills me the most is that I could be at home with my family right now, and instead I'm up here all alone, because I am, apparently, an idiot.

                ~ The GirlThing
                "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

                Comment


                • Dear Admin,

                  Would you like for me to give BoyThing a little visit?

                  -The one with the Bull whip.
                  Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                  Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                  Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                  Comment


                  • Admin,

                    Sorry BoyThing is being twerpy. *offers chocolate*

                    --RP
                    1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                    -----
                    http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

                    Comment


                    • Dear Ex:

                      OK...at least I know you're not going to show up here (no offense, but I'm glad for that), but what's with insinuating that I need to plan better?! Don't even start with that. You knew on December 15th when I was leaving NM (January 5th, tomorrow, I didn't get your email until just now). I knew you were in MI until the 2nd. I also had some inkling of weather conditions so theorized that if you didn't get stuck there due to snow, driving from TX to NM may not be feasible in the crapbox you drive (your car is not fit for this altitude, which may also cause problems). I told you on December 30th that this would not work, and why (too chaotic among other things).

                      No offense, but I don't really like your neck of the woods. I also plan to really step up the job hunt/cert race, so my coming out there in the future is unlikely.

                      Dear mom:

                      ...Thanks for the revelation that the trust left by my grandfather (which my dad as original custodian did not want touching the stock market, when I gained ownership I didn't want it in the market either) has lost a good chunk of its value thanks to its being put in some sort of investment account as you deemed necessary. I have a right to know what's going on with the money that I have a right to access if needed.
                      Last edited by Dreamstalker; 01-04-2009, 06:03 PM.
                      "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                      "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

                      Comment


                      • Dear EQ,

                        Um, could I borrow that?



                        RP,

                        Oooh, chocolate. om nom nom

                        I didn't have any ice cream last night, which really really sucks.

                        Thanks, guys.
                        "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                        Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                        Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

                        Comment


                        • Dear congestion-driven thing,

                          I've sort of gotten attached to breathing. GO AWAY. kthx.

                          --Me.
                          1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                          -----
                          http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

                          Comment


                          • Dear residents of Idaho (or anyone who may want to move to Idaho),

                            Please please please buy our house! We have it listed at a ridiculously low price ($35,000 less than it appraised at) and will sell it to just about anyone! It's beautiful, a wonderful home, and you will love it! I love it, it just happens to be in this frigid wasteland that I hate.

                            So please, help me get out of this arctic tundra! I cannot stand the cold for much longer!

                            Love,

                            Megg
                            "You mean you don’t have the one piece of information you actually need? Well, stick your grubby paws in the crayon box, yank one out and colour me Fucking Shocked Fuchsia." - Gravekeeper

                            Comment


                            • Dear Megg,

                              The following stats are required: bed/bath, sq footage, and current asking price.

                              -The person looking for a house in NM.
                              Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                              Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                              Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                              Comment


                              • Dear Ohio State Buckeyes Football Team:

                                Thanks once again for fucking it up for the rest of us.

                                Signed,
                                The Big Ten Eleven
                                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                                Comment

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