Extremely wrong answers to obvious questions....GAME!

[DesignFox]

Well, if he's got any lemons, he can find someone with some vodka and have a party.

Where would I be able to find towels small enough for the birds to use?

I bet you could get some at a dollhouse show.....

What's the scam?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

to eliminate all terrorist threats, and sources of annoyance...
oops! that's the plan!

the scam is... noneyobuissnesss

where is the blooper reel?

[CaroPhoenix]

At bloopers r us.

What is your warm delight?

[DesignFox]

At bloopers r us.

What is your warm delight?

That's private!

Who's bringing me chocolate? I'm feeling icky.

[CaroPhoenix]

The Icky Sticky Nicky Wicky Chocolate Movers.

Thanks?

[SengaKitty]

You're welcome

Who wants to go out with me tonight?

[Lace Neil Singer]

He-man!

Can animals commit suicide?

[SengaKitty]

Only if their owners don't get to them first..

How busy am I gonna be today?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

As busy as an over caffeinated beaver attempting to dam the Mississippi.

Where's a chainsaw when you need one?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Jason took it.

Are the people with hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (fear of long words), afraid of the word that describes them?

[CaroPhoenix]

Possibly, but they can never talk about it.

Why do I keep dipping my veggie rolls in wasabi/soy sauce mixture even though the wasabi is so strong it's making me cry?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You're a glutton for punishment.

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

[CaroPhoenix]

Ima and Youra Pig.

Did you get it?

[DesignFox]

Ima and Youra Pig.

Did you get it?

Nope. I didn't want any.

When will the swelling in my sinuses go down?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Tomorrow, but the tip of your nose will blow up to 3x its normal size. Sorry.

What's the story, morning glory?